Traipsing Among Transparencies

Glimpses of the dream

2009-02-21T20:39:00.002-07:00

Once-in-a-while I see glimpses of the communal art dream. This time it was through Zack Arias, a photographer who has long been an inspiration for me. He and his church have recently started the Buckhead Photography Project; It sounds amazing.

Maybe I should start seriously looking at this again.

Growth Opportunities

2009-01-21T20:08:00.003-07:00

It's been a depressing week. It's that odd kind of melancholy that refuses to associate with any easily identifiable (and fixable) circumstances. I have God, family, friends, and life, but yet I am, for lack of a suitable Jonny-size word, sad.

It strikes me as odd how strongly these feelings can hit. I try to live as a logical man, but this defies it all. I'm baffled.

How can I be comfortable with my bachelorhood one hour and so desperately lonely the next?
How can I be happy and fulfilled by my job one hour, and psyching up for a résumé rewrite the next.
How do I go from loving my friends to hating my friends (and back again) in a matter of minutes?

Am I fourteen again? Have I really not grown up?

I dunno. But it's also been a week of resolutions. Oddly enough, in the week most well known for the breaking of resolutions, I found myself wanting to make some changes. Not particularly new or creative resolutions, but refreshed nonetheless. It's time for a new man, once again.

My diet is changing and my activity level is increasing, both for the sake of my health and (who am I kidding) in the hope that I may, some day, be attractive enough that I will stop receiving the classically insincere "You're a great guy and any woman [other than me] would be lucky to have you" crap and actually catch an eye or two.

I'm going to stop trying. Instead, I'm going to do. I've spent years trying to appear intelligent, I think it's about time that I start being a bit more loose with the "I don't knows". I've tried and failed at being the perfect gentleman; It's time to stop musing about the rules, procedures, and theory and actually start living with respect for those around me.

It's time to get out of my own head. I am horrified when I look at my life and see how much time I've spent mulling over possibilities and thinking about what I should have done. I'm not known for quoting pop-culture, but I believe the "The Pineapple Incident" episode of How I Met Your Mother was actually my primary inspiration. Stop thinking, start doing! I'm not talking about an over-indulgence in alcohol and the ensuing madness, but something's gotta give as this shell is getting itchy.

Who I am just isn't working, it's time for a change.

Grandpa

2008-11-06T19:46:00.004-07:00

For those who haven't spoken with me since, I made it home safely after a long but enjoyable trip.

Unfortunately, as of November 4th, I find myself in Ottawa again, but under less than happy circumstances. After a battle with pneumonia and the long goodbye of alzheimers, I've lost my maternal grandpa.

I was here for his 85th birthday back at the beginning of October. He was struggling with fluid on the lungs and an ever detiorating short-term memory and the talk amongst the family, though I so desired it not to be true, was that he was not long for this world. Unfortunately, their predictions were true and less than two weeks later he was in hospital for the last time, finally passing away on October 30th.

I've just returned to my Aunt and Uncle's house from the wake. I could paint the day as one of sadness and mourning but that would be untrue. It was wonderful to spend time with my family and their friends, talking about everything that my grandpa had been to them.

He was an amazing man.

He fought in Burma, flying in C-47 Dakotas that would weave their way through valleys between mountains to resupply troups behind the Japanese lines. He told me stories about sitting at the cargo door, calling out distances to the pilot, letting him know how many feet he had between the wingtip and the valley wall. He told me stories of almost falling to his death as a load shifted, knocking him out of the cargo door, leaving him to hang by a cargo strap as the Dak made its knife-edge turn at the end of a valley. And, most recently, he's told me stories about his job during the Cold War, working on the DEW line for NORAD. These stories are most recent simply because they were classified until many years later.

But he's not just one of those "war stories" grandpas. He was a father to three, a grandpa to give, and a great grandfather, as of October 3rd, to one, my little cousin Parker. He loved us all dearly, as he did his wife of 64 years (who he teased endlessly, but always with the deepest look of love in his eyes). Us grandchildren remember the man who would faithfully clean and maintain a backyard pool for us, the man who would let us crawl all over him and use him as a play structure, and the man who would tell us stories, sing us songs, and spoil us rotten (I'm told that, after finishing an ice cream cone that certainly wouldn't have been purchased my the responsible parents, I pull him over to me and said "You're a good guy, Grandpa"). He was as sharp as a tack up until the last few years, introducing me to writers like C.S. Lewis and Tolkien while engaging me in long debates and lessons about all things theological and moral.

Needless to say, he is dearly missed.

These are two of my favourite photos of him. I don't know the timing or details of the first, but it gives an excellent glimpse in to his character. The latter is a photo that I took when I was out here in October, possibly one of the last photos taken of him, showing him with his new great-grandchild. He loved that little baby.

I can't see well through the tears at the moment so I'll end it here.
If you were at all interested, this slideshow that my cousin Christopher and I put together for today's wake and tomorrow's.

On the road again

2008-08-20T23:29:00.003-06:00

For those who weren't aware, as of August 21st (tomorrow) I will be taking approximately seven weeks to drive to and from PEI with stops in Ottawa along the way.

It is a vacation.
And it is a job-hunting excursion.
But above all, it is an experience that I want/need to have.

Calgary > Regina > Winnipeg > Thunder Bay > Sault Ste. Marie > Tobermory > Stratford > Toronto > Ottawa > Quebec City > Grand Falls > Halifax (maybe) > Brackley (just north of Charlottetown)

For all of the stories, photos, and fun (e.g. name the variety of wheat in every photo that I take as I cross Saskatchewan), please visit my travel blog at http://brackley2bytown.blogspot.com/

I'll update it where possible with whatever I find interesting. Until then, please feel free to enjoy the existing entries on the blog: ramblings of last year's adventure on the island.

Getting Started

2008-07-13T20:06:00.005-06:00

Do you know any new, studying, or struggling:
Actors/Actresses,
Dancers,
Singers,
Bands,
Models,
Makeup artists,
Hair stylists, or
Generally outgoing people who are willing to be photographed?

I am begging, pleading, and calling in any favors that you feel that you might owe me... Please introduce me to them!

I want to develop a photography portfolio that will underpin the development of what I hope will be a thriving photographic business in the years to come. Being a struggling artist in this regard, I'm willing to offer Time-for-CD (we both work for free, we both get photos for our portfolios) to any students, recent-graduates, and genuinely struggling artists in those categories that you are willing to introduce to me.

I'll be driving across Canada in August, September, and October so if you know anyone along that route, keep them in mind as well.

If you need my contact info, toss a request in to a comment and I'll send it over.

On the business side:
Of course, I'm also available to do portraits, headshots, promotional materials, weddings, and general event photography if you like my work and want to recommend me to someone that you know. My prices are affordable, my schedule is flexible, and I'm told that I'm quite pleasant to work with.

Thank You Thank You Thank You

Come Fly/Drive With Me

2008-07-11T14:50:00.000-06:00

I've heard whispers of interest from some of you about the prospect of possibly joining me on the island in September (rough dates around 5th-19th). I figured I would open up the invitation to all of you to fly out for all or some of that period.

The water is warm (60-70, only feels cold when you're getting in) and the weather is often nicer in September than it is in the summer.

The place where I'm staying has hotel rooms from between $39 and $59 a night (hooray for off-season). Most can hold 4-6 people, you do the math. Hot tub on site, drive-in theatre on the same property, five minute drive to the beach.

A round-trip plane ticket from Calgary to Charlottetown is about $950 (plus tax and fees). Could be cheaper if you fly out in an easterly direction and I pick you up somewhere along the way.

Food will be reasonably cheap as most of the rooms have kitchens and I'm planning to cook for myself on ~$10/day (apart from lobster dinner days). If people join me, I'll cook for you too.

Gas should be reasonably cheap as I will have my car out there (I am still driving all the way out there and back). If more than four of you come (that's a full car), it shouldn't be too expensive to split a rental car between yourselves.

Give some thought to it. Let me know if you're at all interested.
You will not be disappointed!

Where's your 10%?

2008-07-09T23:03:00.003-06:00

I'd like to offer up some thoughts on tithing.

I'm not good with church. I've been to five churches in my lifetime and I've never been truly comfortable at any of them. I know that I am not alone in feeling this way. Something may be awry in the churches that I've been too; But I'll lay down my money (quite literally) on the assumption that the problem is within me.

I don't think anyone will ever be perfectly happy with their church. You will always be bothered by some small piece of doctrine, an off-key singer, the number of times you have to stand-up in the service, or whether the deer pants or panteths for the water. If you view tithing as a tax, paid to the church out of a sense of guilt or duty, you will likely struggle with giving. Why would you want to give your money to a church that does ______ wrong?

Let me offer an alternative viewpoint: It's not your money.
You have a job that could have been given to someone else.
You have your health when it could so easily fail.
You have a gifting in certain areas, without which you would certainly fail.

God gave you the opportunity, the freedom, and the capability to work and earn money to support you and those whom you love. The money was given to you. Tithing is an acknowledgement of this

God has explicitly asked for 10% of my income to be given back as an offering of trust and thanksgiving. Even in those moments when I have felt completely disenfranchised with the church in general, I continued to enter my pay-cheque in to my budget sheets at 90% of its face value. On those occasion where I haven't darkened the doorway to a church in months, I would have a growing tally in my cheque-book for the amount that I owed upon my return or move.

As I see it, the key to tithing is that you no longer have that 10%. It is an act of thanks for what He has provided, and an act of trust that He will continue to provide. My priority is that the money goes to do some good in this world. Whether my money keeps Kraft Dinner in my pastor's pantry, pays for a room at a local woman's shelter, or feeds a family in the third-world, the money has to leave my coffers and help someone else.

I can't help but comment on what I see as the miraculous nature of tithing. I've seen countless examples of people whose tithing knocked just enough money out of their wallet to put them at risk of going without food, gas, power, etc.. They still tithed, taking that leap of faith that their needs would be provided for. In many cases, even before any plea had gone out to family, friends, or a congregation, a perfectly-measured gift arrived just in time to cover the need. The thing is, even if they had gone hungry, I know that these people would have been happy to do so. I tithe when it is easy and I tithe when it is hard and I will continue to do so through whatever I may encounter in life.

Even if you want nothing to do with God, there's something to be said for the act of self-sacrifice. It really helps focus the mind on something beyond your daily life. I honestly think that everyone should "tithe" as it can be a life changing experience both for you and for others.

Some news (illustrated by Peanuts!)

2008-05-25T23:16:00.005-06:00

I have two choices to describe my current situation:

Option 1

Option 2

I was going to walk in to the office on May 21, write up a nice, succinct, and, what I thought would be, extremely-satisfying letter detailing my intent to resign as of June 13. This was the keystone of my Canadian adventure! The landmark nature of my trip would be elevated and amplified by the freedom from a job that, up until two weeks ago anyway, was really irking me.

Despite being on vacation, I was checking my email inbox at work on a fairly regular basis. This is how I came to the realization, in the middle of a board-game with my cousins no less, that one of my coworkers was leaving. I sighed a sigh of relief when I saw that it wasn't my boss (a most excellent boss). I let loose an anguished "argh!" when I saw that it wasn't my former boss. This left an accepting and understanding nod for my remaining coworker who, as of this past Friday, has left the company.

Here's the kicker: I am very good at feeling guilty.

With a department of four (3+me), my departure would be an inconvenient but survivable bump in their road.

With a department of three (2+me), my departure would definitely be more than a slight inconvenience. I'm neither vain nor proud, at least not to any worrisome degree; I am simply realistic. My boss is extremely competent and capable. My former boss, the only remaining non-managerial member of the group (assuming my absence), often appears to be neither.

I would not feel right leaving my boss to fight alone.

Where does that leave me?
I will not be departing in late June. I'm going to hang around and do what I can to help my boss move the department forward. My hope is to make the trip this fall, either with the company's blessing (leave of absence) or on my own timeline (resignation).

We'll see where it goes. To be honest, I'm not all that disappointed about the delay. I find that surprising, but the overwhelming peace would suggest that there is some Godly guidance here that may have been missing from my previous plans. Here's hoping (and praying) that my plans for the fall are successful.

I'm going to PEI!

2008-04-24T10:00:00.000-06:00

I've booked my hotel!
From June 29 to July 17, I will be staying at the Brackley Country Inn. This is an awesome little place that just so happens to sit right beside the Brackley drive-in theatre! Check out the satellite map here.

I will spend my time on the island doing a mix of tourism and pavement-pounding. By the end of my stay, I hope to have met with every interested, possibly-relevant, business owner in the greater Charlottetown area (and possibly beyond).

My very rough "people to call" list looks like this:

Federal government
Provincial government
Municipal government
Tourism associations
Universities and colleges
Museums
Real estate
Airport & airlines)
Musicians (albums, studios, venues)
Charlottetown civic centre
Arts district
Restaurants
Breweries
Property management groups
Construction

If I'm missing anything, let me know.

Then there is the 10,000km round-trip road-trip that encompasses my time on the island. I will be driving across Canada on my own. All told, we're talking about 30+ days away from everyone that I know and love. Words cannot express how excited and terrified I am.

As I see it, this is a perfect opportunity to commune with God. It also is a perfect opportunity for me to get out there and actually gain some people-skills.

Can you imagine me with the confidence to approach, talk to, and get to know complete strangers?
Neither can I... haha

This could be one of the greatest opportunities for change that I have ever had.

Find a job, move to PEI, shovel 10' of snow... big steps.
Approach someone that I don't know and try to make a friend... giant leap.

If you are in the habit of conversing with the Almighty, please keep me in your prayers.

Another photo

2008-04-20T00:17:00.002-06:00

A good day in the office is a day out of the office...
Nothing like a mandated trip to Lake Louise to ease some stress. And, I must admit, I was only slightly disappointed when the organizers experienced some delays and I had to wait around for an hour or so longer than expected. I spent my hour walking and photographing the grounds of the Chateau Lake Louise.

Some lighting experiments

2008-04-20T00:05:00.004-06:00

I haven't posted photos for a while.
I'm sure these won't be particularly interesting to most of you, but I'm rather proud of them.
All of them are unedited and were taken in the three-minute and forty-second long periods between pressing "Record" and "Stop" for my buddy Greg as he recorded his demo CD.

Two flashes. One on-camera, bouncing off ceiling behind me. One behind the board, hitting the wall.

Two flashes. One on-camera pointed directly at the glasses. One directly behind the flashes, bouncing off of the wall. Going for a purposefully soft/pastel look.

Two flashes. One on-camera pointed directly at the glasses. One directly behind the flashes, bouncing off of the wall. Also going for a purposefully soft/pastel look.

One hand-held flash. Fired four times during an eight-second exposure. One above the cup, one on the front of the cup, one from each side.

One hand-held flash. Fired four times during an eight-second exposure. One above the cup, one on the front of the cup, one from each side.

PEI Again?

2008-04-04T23:41:00.003-06:00

I want to move to Charlottetown.
I need a job in order to move to Charlottetown.
I need to pound the pavement in Charlottetown to find a job.
I need a place to stay in Charlottetown while I pound the pavement.
There is no guarantee of a job.
All I have are my savings.
I won't have money coming in.
Those savings won't last long.
I can only stay for a short while.
All of the apartments want one-year leases.
All of the short-term rentals are expensive tourist destinations.
A much shorter stay in a hotel?
Problem solved!

So I'm planning a road-trip!

We're talking about a grueling, 10,000km (round-trip), middle of the summer (eww), month-long adventure across this great country of ours.

Calgary > Regina > Winnipeg > Thunder Bay > Sault Ste. Marie > Ottawa > Bangor (Maine) > Charlottetown.

Two weeks in Charlotte's town should be just enough time to reach out to a pre-determined list of potential employers and, hopefully, spend a bit of time touring the island that I love.

Then comes, what will undoubtedly be, a very tough drive back. I don't look forward to the first three days, fighting the urge to turn the car around at every U-turn opportunity that I see.

Lets see how long it takes for this plan to derail.

Hahahahaha

2008-03-28T11:52:00.005-06:00

Plan A: Fail
Plan B: Fail
Plan C: EPIC FAIL!

There are some furnished apartments in Charlottetown... for $3000 a month!

I figured that a "furnished apartment" simply meant adding a ratty old couch and a 12-channel TV to the apartment and adding the heat and phone costs to the rent. WRONG!

"Furnished apartment" = "vacation destination".

At what point should I call it quits on the comedy of errors? Wouldn't a booming "NO!" from the sky have been easier than the complete and utter collapse of every idea I come up with?

Just as a side note: Every property manager in Charlottetown is named Wayne. It's actually a bit weird. I sent out a bunch of emails to various companies asking about their properties; Every response (phone or email) has been from a gentleman named Wayne (each with a different last name though).
[Edit: It seems that there is also one lady named Harma. She ruined my visions of a secret counsel of Waynes.]

PEI - On to Plan C!

2008-03-27T11:09:00.004-06:00

Plan A: Find a job online, move out there, live happily ever after.
Status: Failed (Islanders don't know how to use the internet)

Plan B: Save up a pile of cash, move out there for a year or so, and work my way up through dish-washing jobs.
Status: Failed (broke by month 8)

Plan C: Rent a furnished apartment for three months. 50% tourist, 50% job seeker.
Status: On a knife's edge (not a lot of furnished apartments)

We'll see where this goes.
The one vs. two bedroom debate is still open though.

2008-03-24T19:35:00.003-06:00

So, I've been giving PEI more thought.

I think I may just head out there and rent an apartment for a few months to get a feel for whether this really is the place for me.

The big question is how large a place would I need. Would anyone truthfully be interested in hitting the island while I was there? If not, I'll cram myself in to a one bedroom and save the cash.

Wouldn't be heading out until at least June as there is too much already planned. What happens between now and then will decide whether this dream goes anywhere.

Madness begotten

2008-03-19T23:31:00.006-06:00

I had a conversation with my daughter tonight...

No, I've not been keeping secrets. I remain single and lonely.
My mind is constantly running through all of the various permutations of events in the past, present, and future. I know just what I should have said to the bullies in my past; I have thought through countless ideas for the wooing of, and the eventual proposal to a woman (I'm quite debonair and charming in my imagination); and tonight, in one of the rarer moments of this madness, I had a conversation with a child. My child.

I don't know whether I'll ever be married; I don't know whether I'll ever be a father; And, of course, I don't know whether any of those possible children be a girl. All I know is that those few moments tonight were extremely happy moments.

It was a basic encouraging parental speech. I told her that she was special and to never lose sight of that fact. I explained humility to her, reminding her to consider those around her before herself. And I seemed to try to offer some advice on dealing with those who seem hell-bent on bringing her down. It started off with the tone and vocabulary that one might use when speaking with a young child. It then seemed to progress to an assumed knowledge of reasoned-morality and a common vocabulary suitable for an older child. That's it. That's all. It was a simple Dad moment.

What triggered this? I have no idea.
How long was I working aimlessly with a blank look in my face?

Yes, this is odd. I'm odd.
No friend of mine should be surprised at the depths of my madness anymore.

I don't know what to take from it. Maybe there is nothing to be taken from it. Either way, I thought I'd just share a momentary glance in to those moments when I kind of zone out. I am thinking at those moments; And rarely am I thinking about something light or inconsequential. You are friends with a dreamer, a mad-man musing on times, worlds, and realities beyond this that we know.
Will I ever be "Daddy"?

Lessons one can learn from Facebook

2008-03-18T17:08:00.012-06:00

_____ is in a relationship
_____ is single
_____ is in a relationship
_____ is single
_____ is in a relationship
_____ is single
_____ is in a relationship
_____ is single
_____ is in a relationship
_____ is single
_____ is in a relationship
_____ is single
_____ is in a relationship

Maybe the problem wasn't your last sixteen boyfriends?

Your right to date has officially been revoked.

Mozart's Requiem

2008-03-14T21:25:00.002-06:00

Anyone interested in going to see Alberta Ballet's interpretation of Mozart's Requiem with me?

I'm huge in Mason City!

2008-02-29T14:52:00.011-07:00

Google Analytics is fun.
It gives an almost endless supply of interesting (yet useless) information.
For example, sources of new readers

Apparently I'm a hit among the students of Northern Iowa Area Community College? They make up more than one quarter of the visits to this site.

Mount Allison University in Sackville, New Brunswick ranks fairly high as well... Who do I know in Sackville?

Take a minute and leave a comment. I'd love to get to know these people who finds me so fascinating, haha.

[Edit: OK, two very devoted fans. Thank you Ally and Laura. Just for kicks, I think you should convince all of your friends to read; See if you can outnumber my Calgary readers. Don't worry, there aren't that many of them.]

Should your opinion matter to me?

2008-02-25T19:00:00.004-07:00

It took eleven years of "Jonathan, you are an excellent writer" from teachers to build my confidence.
It took less than two months of my senior year to crush it.

It took four years of "Excellent work, Jonathan" from professors to rebuild my confidence.
It took less than a week in my new job to destroy it.

The grade twelve teacher was an angry, man-hating, feminist.
The boss, it turns out, was an idiot.
But does that make them wrong?

Draw for me a line in the sand that marks where the defense of one's gifts becomes pride. Whose opinions can I ignore? Who am I to judge the validity of opinions of others? By allowing myself to judge, do I doom myself to the pretentiousness that I see in so many writers, artists, and photographers.

Maybe someone just doesn't "get" my work, and thus their negative opinion of it really isn't valid. Or maybe my work really is crap and the positive remarks have been either patronizing or ignorant.

In yesterday's church service, we discussed the idea that each of us had been called to a certain role in life. I believe it, but that doesn't mean that I know how it's supposed to unfold for me. Am I gifted as a writer? Am I called to write for a purpose? What could that purpose possibly be?

Library

2008-02-25T13:10:00.004-07:00

I do hope to move out on my own some day soon. Here's the problem: there is no way I could ever afford the kind of place I dream of.

I'm not looking for extravagance, but I can't deny wanting something a bit beyond the usual apartment.

Obviously, it needs to have a bedroom, living room, dining room, and kitchen; But I would love to have an office and library as well.

I would love to have a library like this:

If I find myself in a smaller place, I might try something like this:

The West Wing

2008-02-22T16:31:00.001-07:00

Because forcing the DVDs on all of you hasn't worked so far, I figure I'll try and tempt you with a few choice clips.
Come watch West Wing with me!

If you are just going to watch one, "The Streets of Heaven..." is an absolute favorite of mine. It is a speech given by President Josiah Bartlett only hours after a deadly bombing at a university. It pulls a quote from the Oscars acceptance speech of Tom Hanks for his role in Philadelphia.

"The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQWxgnFc1fk&NR=1

"The tie"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyqzPu5pX6U&NR=1

"Galileo V"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TkzLnUNeVo

"Let Bartlet be Bartlet"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT0AP3Nqvuo

Part 1 "Mrs. Landingham chastises Bartlet"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EhBXAweuRE

Part 2 "Conversation with God"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FScv89J6rro

Part 3 "Will you be seeking re-election"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EgLiPvhV-Y

Lunar Eclipse - February 20, 2008

2008-02-20T20:59:00.003-07:00

Someone: "What planet was it that passed in front of the moon tonight?"
Me: "Uh... Earth"

Did no one else learn basic astronomy in elementary school?

Anyway, it was beautiful.

Marriage

2008-02-16T23:43:00.004-07:00

There are some who ought to marry, and some who ought not to.
The apostle Paul spoke very wisely about this.

The question in my mind is whether those who are not meant to marry are blessed with a lack of desire to do so. The alternative question is whether the desire for marriage is a sign that one should eventually achieve it.

Does God give us a heart suited to the life we are destined for? Or is it possible that one might receive a heart contrary to their destiny, a situation where one might have to fight all through life to do what they are called for.

Did Paul accept a life without marriage easily? Or was this a situation that God thrust upon him and he had to work hard to accept it?

I dunno.

No Cavendish for me

2008-02-05T12:29:00.000-07:00

A resounding "Yes" would have been nice; But I cannot deny that the apologetic "No" from the Cavendish Tourism Association brings some peace as I had been getting rather anxious while waiting for a response.

2008-01-30T10:50:00.001-07:00

Gotta love articles like this:
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/prince-edward-island/story/2008/01/30/power-out.html

Ya, there's a PEI theme in my last few posts. It's not intentional, I've just had not much else to talk about. I'm not as fanatical about the island as I sound on here. Still waiting for word from Cavendish, but I've resigned myself to waiting a bit longer as they may very well be in the dark.

The

2008-01-22T22:39:00.000-07:00

In the (literally) immortal words of Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez (Highlander, never actually watched the movie):

"...there can be only one"

In Calgary, you can be fairly certain that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of other people with the very same job as you. In PEI, most jobs come with their very own "The". You're not A technical writer... You're THE technical writer.

This is great if you have a rare talent or skill, or were the first practitioner in the area. But this sucks if you are trying to get in.

The initial urge hit on December 30th. I started looking for jobs out there. It's now the 22nd of January and I have found ONE. There were a few false starts with the postings either disappearing or becoming more exclusive as time went on, but at this point I have actually applied for only one job. It's a great job (check out the description a few posts ago) but it means that this whole harebrained scheme of mine is resting on the shoulders of that one employer.

So ya, any definitive sounding language I've used over the past few weeks should be taken with a grain or two of salt. Yes, I still see myself in a little (or not so little) house on the island, but the variables of when and how remain to be seen.

At this point, I'm sure of only one thing. I want out of my job. My new boss is great, but I'm left babysitting my old boss who now shares a cubicle with me. I'm getting tired of waking up and not wanting to go to work. There has to be something out there that might actually excite me.

Where are you going, Jonny?

2008-01-14T16:33:00.000-07:00

Obviously nothing is set in stone yet, but I figure I should offer some sort of explanation for my somewhat impulsive talk of an eastward move. This video says it pretty well (though it's not some "Anne of Green Gables" fanaticism that moves me, I had not touched those books before I went to the island). The island changes people.

I wrote this on my first night at the cottage this summer:

The sun sets earlier here, it is 8:40PM right now and it is well towards dusk. It was a cloudy day so the sunset is much more gradual through the overcast sky. The mood would be best described as soft, there is nothing harsh about what I am experiencing right now. There are many birds around; There songs seem different, they seem to carry further than they do at home, and with an inherent depth that seems to give an almost dream like quality to the sound. The faint scent of the sea is intoxicating in the cool evening air.

THAT is what calls to me. It's not like it was a one night thing, I'd have one of those moments almost every day

Only thing that worries me is this:

I like snow, and I'm sure it will be beautiful after, but I'm a wimp and I'm not sure whether I'd like to be sitting alone in a creaking home during a storm like that. I gotta hurry up and find me a wife that I can hold on to during those cold and dreary nights ("Baby it's cold outside" might actually have some meaning, unlike here in Calgary)

Portfolio

2008-01-06T22:58:00.000-07:00

I'm in the process of updating my portfolio.
Check out the current photo set here:
http://jonharris.zenfolio.com/p890552588

I'd be glad for any comments and critiques. If there's something missing (those of you who know my work), or if there is something that ought not to be there, let me know.

Guidance

2008-01-03T22:50:00.000-07:00

To whoever reads this blog, I would ask for your prayers.

What was a momentary whim has now become a semi-serious plan. Whether it is this job opportunity or another, I am seriously considering moving out to the island.

The idea of leaving the dangerous neighborhoods, traffic jams, and oil industry behind is very tempting right now. I crave the slower pace of life on the island. A province with a population 1/8th of Calgary.

I could afford to buy a house!
1300 square feet and an acre of land for under $120,000... I couldn't buy a shack for that here in Calgary.
But the question remains, could I live alone out there? Do I want to? Should I?
Could I stand the feeling of my family and friends being 5000km away? Could I handle the fact that it just isn't realistic for many of my friends to visit even occasionally? How often could I make it home to visit? Would I find a similarly loving group of friends and mentors out there?

I need some guidance from God as this adventure will be a waste of time and money if He isn't leading it. There are a number of obvious fleece - the job, a house, the funds - but I realize that the whole point behind the original fleece was that it was something out of the ordinary. I am praying that God will provide that unexpected fleece that will make this clear.

Please pray for me, that I might either be encouraged and pushed forward on this path, or find enough closed doors to accept the answer. If I'm to stay, I need an attitude adjustment to let help me appreciate this city and whatever job I am to do within it, because I'm certainly not enjoying either at the moment.

Eastbound Jonny?

2007-12-29T21:53:00.000-07:00

MINE!!!
...quoth I, upon finding the following job advert.

I have just over a week to get my resume in order. Here's hoping (and praying) that something might come of it.

Title:
- Promotions/Events Manager

Employer:
-Cavendish Beach & The Dune Shores Tourism Association

Location:
- Cavendish, Prince Edward Island

Education:
- Completion of college/university

Experience:
- 1 - 2 years

Languages:
- English

Work Setting:
- Tourism services, Not-for-profit organization

Software:
- Windows
- Office
- Email
- Web-site creation and management software

Staff Responsibility:
- 1 - 20

Specific Skills:
- Plan, develop and implement communications strategies
- Establish distribution networks for products and services
- Plan and direct events for fund raising campaigns
- Prepare reports
- Generate ideas for products / services development
- Develop promotional materials
- Deliver presentations on products / services
- Participate in trade shows
- Write Request for Proposals (RFP's)

Additional Skills:
- Plan and control budget and expenditures

Ability to Supervise:
- 1 - 2 people

Other Information:
- At least 1 year experience coordinating special events.

Others

2007-12-25T17:14:00.000-07:00

I wonder how my actions will affect those around me. This isn't a Christian idea, this isn't a religious idea, this isn't even an elective-moral idea; This is the basis of civilized society. I've been called out in the past for expecting people to live up to standards that are just not applicable to their lives; This is not one of those things!

Had a discussion with Cyler the other day about drunkenness. He made the valid point that since I've never been drunk, there is no way for me to understand how some people enjoy it. I'm not a teetotalar, I like alcoholic drinks, but I am actually quite afraid of getting drunk. I've seen how it affects those around me; Some people fall asleep, some people gain a remarkable ability to dance, and some turn in to complete and utter jackasses.

I hate the way I behave sometimes. I shudder when I recall the depths to which my mind has slipped on occasion. I am loath to think about the people that I've hurt in the past (accidentally or maliciously). All of this in my most sober moments.

What would I be like if I were drunk? Would I be a fun, carefree guy? Would I fall asleep? Or would I find within me a "Mr. Hyde" of sorts, the man whose very nature I have hated and forcefully suppressed throughout my life?

I won't judge you for drinking. I won't judge you for getting drunk. But I reserve the right to be disappointed should your behaviour (drunk or not) hurt me or those I love.

This was a disappointing Christmas day.

Dreams are weird

2007-11-14T23:03:00.000-07:00

(I've never kept a true journal... so I'm sorry to all of you that are stuck listening to my thinking-through-writing.)

The other night, I had a dream about a girl that I haven't seen in almost 10 years. Being as hopelessly romantic as I am, it seems that we had a lovely dream relationship and we even shared a pleasant dream kiss. That's all that remained in my memory. I woke up this morning, went to work, and couldn't stop thinking about why she would suddenly show up in a dream.

I was a weird kid in grade seven (weirder than now...), but though she generally didn't run in the same crowd as me (I didn't have a crowd), she was never outright mean to me. I remember her actually waving to me one evening as she and her mother drove by. I thought it was odd and unexpected, my mom suggested that maybe she liked me (gotta love mothers). I didn't have a crush on her, at least from what I remember, but the thought rattled around in my head for a few days back then and then, it seems, buried itself in my memory until last Tuesday.

I wonder where Donna is now.

P.S.
I now remember her looking (at least in my eyes) like a young Cameron Diaz. Maybe it was the watching of "The Holiday" that triggered this. Either way, I maintain that dreams are weird.

2007-11-12T15:20:00.000-07:00

... there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!

(My sister and I watched "The Holiday" today)

2007-10-19T14:38:00.000-06:00

You know my thoughts on worldwide charity.

I've found a solution that I'm comfortable with: Micro-finance

Check out
http://www.kiva.org

Invest $25 (that's their limit right now due to the overwhelming number of interested people). When the entrepreneur pays the money back, you can pocket it or reinvest it in another business. You could, in theory, help build an endless string of businesses with that single investment.

Sounds pretty cool. I plan to do some more reading (I'm always rather skeptical), but it certainly sounds like a good alternative to many of the other charities out there.

Sustenance vs. Growth.

Act I Scene III

2007-10-18T19:40:00.000-06:00

I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviors to love, will, after he hath laughed at such shallow follies in others, become the argument of his own scorn by failing in love.

Such a man is Claudio.

I have known when there was no music with him but the drum and the fife; and now had he rather hear the tabour and the pipe: I have known when he would have walked ten mile a-foot to see a good armour; and now will he lie ten nights awake, carving the fashion of a new doublet. He was wont to speak plain and to the purpose, like an honest man and a soldier; and now is he turned orthography; his words are a very fantastical banquet, just so many strange dishes. May I be so converted and see with these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not: I will not be sworn, but love may transform me to an oyster; but I'll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me, he shall never make me such a fool. One woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous, yet I am well; but till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace... [Wise] she shall be..., or I'll none; virtuous, or I'll never cheapen her; fair, or I'll never look on her; mild, or come not near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what colour it please God.

[Ya... Much Ado About Nothing was on the television. Until such time as I am able to express myself so well, The Bard will remain as my most capable spokesman.]

Milkshake

2007-09-29T13:19:00.000-06:00

Inspirations

2007-09-28T20:09:00.000-06:00

I long to write like this:
http://writtenbycandlelight.blogspot.com/

I long to knowledgeably identify with this song (and maybe even sing it):
Pachelbel Bedtime

Photo Excursion

2007-09-22T22:37:00.000-06:00

The photo excursion was awesome.
See the flickr gallery here.

Some are mine, most are Jordan's. When I wasn't shooting I was advising or being a "voice-activated light-stand". It was a lot of fun and I learned tons. I don't think I'll ever be able to shoot another outdoor portrait again without a flash, an umbrella, a bracket, and a Pocket Wizard. It just goes so smoothly and the results are, if I may say so, absolutely beautiful.

Fireworks

2007-09-11T15:21:00.000-06:00

I hit the fireworks festival during my last week in Ottawa. I'm pleased with the results
http://www.shorterthanjesus.com/gallery/fireworks/

Vocabulary

2007-09-10T22:55:00.001-06:00

A reflection on some of the ideas given in Cyler's latest post

Vocabulary is definitely not about sounding smarter (what's the point of sounding smarter if you can't be understood); It's about having a wider gamut of colors to work with as you paint the image that is in your mind. We're living in a world with an ever shrinking vocabulary.

Years ago, I could have informed you of my displeasure with a behaviour of yours with a comment ranging from "I felt slighted by your actions" to "Your behaviour was downright appalling and amends need to be made for it". Today, most of our generational compatriots seem to range between "Shut up" and "Shut the F___ up" with only tonality and body language left to provide any distinction.

The same thing could be said about a man's expression of his love for a woman (or vice versa). Try to imagine letters like this coming from the pen (or keyboard, as it may be) of any of the couples that we pass on the way in to the movie theatres or other public areas.

We have access to a remarkably detailed and powerful language, built upon the framework of some of the world's most beautiful and effective languages (Latin, Greek, and French, to name just a few). There is no excuse for not clearly and efficiently communicating information, feelings, or or thoughts, whether through the spoken or the written word.

Adapt to the audience when necessary, but adapt the audience whenever possible. Teach!

A challenge

2007-09-09T16:49:00.000-06:00

A challenge to anyone who finds themselves singing a song of Christian worship.

Do not sing another "Christian" word until you know explicitly what it means.

I don't want to hear another "Hallelujah", "Amen", "Bulwark", or anything else along those lines unless you can confidently explain its meaning to another person.

Christian worship is so often (and rightfully so) looked upon with great skepticism by non-Christians. We have a group of people giving in to, what appears to be, mass hysteria and mindless chanting of words including some that, I'm quite sure, at least 50% of the congregation do not understand. I am in no position to judge the position of person's mind and soul, but by observation I would be willing to bet that a surprising portion of the tears, convulsions, and "hallelujahs" are elements of a mass hysteria, more than actual personal interaction with the Almighty. I cannot say that, though, without also saying that I am more than confident that the remainder are real, true, and blessed events.

What I honestly would like to see is an explanation slide (overhead / bulletin insert / announcement) before every song that slips in any of these Christianeze words. I want someone, a person entirely unfamiliar with the Christian church, to be able to walk in to an event and be actually able to understand what is going on. What good is it to them if they don't understand it.

Step by step, we can slowly move ourselves away from the image of a bunch of mindless religious fanatics.

If you refuse to do it right...

2007-08-27T00:04:00.000-06:00

If you refuse to do it right, don't do it at all.

It needs to be said that I am thankful for the many positive relationship examples in my life; It is only the rare case that doesn't work as it should that really pisses me off.

When a lady friend of mine is in a relationship with a guy who doesn't treat her as well as I would, I take it as an affront to me. I am far from perfect, I am know that there are a great many gentlemen out there who would eclipse me to a staggering degree; But, ladies, you've got some explaining to do if the guy you're crushing/dating/marrying isn't one of them.

Photo Excursion

2007-08-14T19:40:00.000-06:00

My arrival back in town this weekend heralds the planning stages of a massive photo excursion at some point in the next month or two.

What do I envision? Everyone who is, or wants to be, comfortable behind their camera, and everyone who is comfortable in front of a camera, going out to some reasonably accessible location and spending a couple hours taking photos, learning from each other, and generally building the most kick-ass collection of people photos one could ever imagine.

It can be as simple or as complicated as people want. I see no reason why we can't have cellphone-camera artists working beside DSLR shooters.

I want people to start contacting me with dates and times they are free and interested. Evenings, weekends, whatever. Let me know and I'll start compiling a list of possible days. The more people that come, the better.

Know someone who doesn't do the camera thing but loves to be in photos, bring them too. We need models!

I'm also open for location ideas.

Vacation

2007-07-20T23:34:00.000-06:00

My plane pushes away from the gate at 8:00am tomorrow morning. Two weeks in PEI, two weeks in Ottawa. I'll be connected only occasionally for the first two weeks, probably hitting a wifi hotspot in Charlottetown or Rustico two or three times a week. Once I hit Ottawa, I expect to be a bit more accessible.

But should anyone be interested in what my family is up to for the next month, feel free to swing by our/my vacation blog at:
Brackley2Bytown
(Brackley is a beach near our cabin, Bytown was the name of Ottawa back when it was a grubby little logging town)

I hope to maintain an impressive flow of even more impressive photos of our travels and adventures (and at least one shot of a proper-sized lobster... not these crayfish that Red Lobster serves in Alberta). I might even experiment with voice or video blogging, depending on how many rainy evenings I have at the cabin.

2007-07-11T12:27:00.000-06:00

Giant badgers invade town

The story is actually fairly lame, but the title is awesome. Hooray for inside jokes.

Pie

2007-07-09T15:35:00.000-06:00

Calgary needs affordable housing. We have a huge homeless population that needs help.

These are inarguable facts; But it is idiots like Lily Phan (Facebook) that absolutely destroy the respectability of the fight for social equity in Calgary. She tried to throw a pie at Premier Ed Stelmach in an attempt to bring attention to the plight of Calgary's homeless (link). Unfortunately, all people heard on the news was her screaming and babbling as she was dragged away by the police.

There has to be a better way...

We need to protect the environment, but respectable and powerful people don't want to be associated with extreme groups like Green Peace.

Our aboriginal groups deserve respect, but blocking rail-lines does nothing but poison people and companies against them.

Our homeless population deserves help, dignity, and respect. They need a better representative than crazies like Lily Phan.

Acceptable

2007-07-04T00:22:00.000-06:00

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart,
Be acceptable in your sight,
O Lord, my strength and redeemer.
Psalm 19:14

Post It Notes

2007-06-09T00:50:00.000-06:00

Be a gentleman.
Be chivalrous.
Be respectful.
Honor friends and family.
Serve freely and joyfully without expectation of repayment or acknowledgment.
Be gracious.
Be forgiving.
Be patient.
Demonstrate understanding.
Shut up.
Listen.
Be watchful.
Be careful.
Be calm.
Foster peace.
Seek the truth.
Speak the truth.
Be happy.
Know, show, and share joy.
Tread softly.
Step carefully.
Walk straight.
Guide well.
Follow well.
Say please.
Say "thank you".
Be thankful.
Be honest.
Be humble.
Don't gloat when you're right.
Admit when you're wrong.
Speak your feelings, don't trust their intuition.
Listen carefully to others, don't trust your intuition.
Don't categorize unnecessarily.
Don't categorize incorrectly.
Don't categorize.
Don't assume.
Ask.

I started this list in a spat of entirely unjustified anger and self pity. The root was not good, but the thought process and the writing process were. Here you have a map of the forces which act on me daily. A collection of Post-It Notes, stuck on every surface of my brain. Too many to remember and pay attention to at one time, but each one very valuable.

My ears hurt, and I couldn't be happier

2007-06-05T22:07:00.000-06:00

My house has a covered back porch. At first I didn't see the need for it, but then the first thunderstorm hit; I've been hooked ever since.

My dad and I spent over an hour out on the back deck, thoroughly enjoying the sound of the rain and hail striking deafening blows on the plastic roof. The constant roar of thunder around us was the real spectacle though; It's been a long time since I've been in a storm that was this active.

I love it, I honestly cannot think of a time when I've been more relaxed than sitting in a chair on the deck, unable to hear anything but the relentless pounding of the rain on the roof above. My ears hurt after listening for that long to something that loud, but yet I was almost falling asleep out there.

So ya, I love storms.

Big nose

2007-05-21T16:51:00.000-06:00

And I, meseems, had Nature been more kind,
More careful, when she fashioned me,—had been
One of those men who well could speak their love!...
Oh! We have our pockets full,
We poets, of love-letters, writ to Chloes,
Daphnes—creations of our noddle-heads.
Our lady-loves,—phantasms of our brains,
—Dream-fancies blown into soap-bubbles! Come!
Take it, and change feigned love-words into true;
I breathed my sighs and moans haphazard-wise;
Call all these wandering love-birds home to nest.
You'll see that I was in these lettered lines,
—Eloquent all the more, the less sincere!
—Take it, and make an end!

Reading through Cyrano de Bergerac, considering a career in romantic ghost-writing, haha.

2007-05-21T13:28:00.000-06:00

I was talking with my friend, Faith, and she weighed on on the topic of guy’s behaviour towards women, and the underlying topic of women’s clothing. Having managed to escape the bottomless pit of blogging, she asked that I, instead, just post this up in response.

Jonathan, thank you for giving women a man’s view into clothing and lust. I admire the fact that you flee from lustful thoughts; that is truly a rare trait to find in a man today. I believe that both men and women can work together to allow the other to fight the battle of lust. It is my goal to pass on what the Bible, and the book “Every Young Women’s Battle”, has to say about modesty. I hope and pray that the godly womanly perspective I am sharing can be clear, effective, and will result in greater degrees of modesty.

We have all heard the saying, “don’t judge a book by its cover” and I believe that this saying can be applied to interactions with men and women. When one sees a book with a plain cover, it is our natural tendency to pay little to no attention to it. Where as, if one sees a book with flashy print and exciting colors, they give their entire attention to it, or at least until something better comes out. Although this is an innocent example, it can be applied to how men view women. I believe that a woman should dress attractively. That can include summer dresses as Amy pointed out, but with care that it does not leave a man lost in the outside appearance, not wanting to see what is inside.

The way a women dresses, is the way she will be treated. Men are very visual beings and women feel that, to catch a guy’s attention, they must dress in a way where the men long to see more. Godly men long to find women who will dress modestly out of respect for God and them. If a woman wants to be respected and sought after, she must learn to be a woman of sexual integrity. God’s word tells us to strive to be more like Christ, and that may mean dressing differently than this sex craved society.

Both men and women should strive to dress and act the way they want to be treated, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. If men refuse to feed into women’s desire for attention, women will in turn dress more modestly. But, we should not wait for men to change, rather we as women should search the Bible for guidance. Below is an excerpt from “Every Young Women’s Battle” which can help us evaluate/assess our motives in a particular outfit we desire to wear.

“Searching The Scriptures For Guidance”

Scripture is specific about what we should wear, but not on how we should dress. Below are some examples:

Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immortality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature. ( Romans 13:13-14)

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience…And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12,14)

All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another because “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” ( 1 Peter 5:5)

Although, you should not wear revealing clothes the scripture clearly says to clothe oneself with the above virtues.

How to assess the clothes I have or want to buy:

Blouses and Tops:

If your blouse buttons up, is it so tight that someone sitting beside you might get a glimpse though the gaps between the buttons as you move around?
If someone is standing over you or if you are bending over, could that person get an eyeful of cleavage?
Are any of your tops so sheer that others can see the lace on your bra?
Do any of your sleeveless shirts or tank tops reveal your bra straps or require that you not wear a bra?
Do your shirts reveal any part of your abdomen or back if you do the “hallelujah test” (lift your hands above your head)?
Do any of your shirts have sexually suggestive slogans (such as sexy or flirt)?

Jeans and Pants:

Are any of your jeans so tight that someone could read the date on the dime in your pocket?
Do you have to lie down on the bead and suck in your stomach to zip up any of your pants?
Do any of your jeans ride your hips so low that your underwear can be seen from the back?
Do you own any pants that have lettering or graphics across the seat to draw attention to your rear view?

Skirts/dresses and shorts:

Do your skirts or shorts come above your thumbnail when your arms are at your side?
Back up to a full-length mirror and then bend over to touch your toes. Are your private parts or panties on display in this position?
Do any of your skirts ride excessively high above the knee when you are seated?
When you are wearing a particular skirt, could someone sitting or standing in front of you catch a glimpse of your panties or upper thighs if you fail to keep your legs crossed?
Regardless of the length of your skirts, do any have slits up the front, back, or side that could draw a guy’s eye too far up your legs?

Undergarments:

If you choose to wear thong underwear, does the waistband show when you squat down or bend over?
Do you have bras that you like to wear because you know the pretty straps will show when you wear certain tops.

Here is some additional scripture that applies to what virtues women should strive for:

Proverbs 31

Psalm 103

Romans 13:14

Matthew 22:39

In conclusion, a woman should honestly ask herself why she is wearing a particular outfit. Is she trying to catch the attention of a guy? If so, is she doing it in a godly manner? All men are visually sensitive to the appearance of women, but women should not take this as an excuse to wear clothes that are not honoring to God or their brothers in Christ.

Some guys

2007-05-15T23:10:00.000-06:00

I read a book a while back, "Every Man's Battle" by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. It is an excellent book, and many of its ideas and stories have stuck with me.

Driving home today, I found myself behind a big ugly pick-up truck (classic Calgary redneck-mobile), driven by just the kind of guy you would normally expect behind the wheel of such a vehicle. He didn't seem like a particularly bad driver, not that I saw him do any particularly advance maneuvers on the road anyway, but there was one moment which scared me thoroughly. We were driving along when, up about two blocks, I noticed two young ladies walking along the sidewalk, against the flow of traffic. One's gait can speak volumes about one's personality; from two blocks away, you could tell that these two KNEW that they were beautiful. As we got closer, it became apparent that their clothing was the unfortunately common summer-combination of short-shorts and low-cut/high-cut halter tops (amazing how shirts seem to be always losing fabric from both the top and the bottom).

You've heard my rants before about women's clothing, I won't bore you with that again. Quite simply, I knew that there was no way I would be able to respectfully admire these ladies as I drove past, so I chose to look away, giving some extra attention to the road, my dash, and the vehicles around me. That's not a big thing for me, I do it all the time, I know the weaknesses of my mind.

What scared me [watch as Jonny finally gets to the point] was the behaviour of the guy in the truck in front of me. I watched his head as we neared and passed the ladies. He was locked on, entirely focused. It wasn't a glance through peripheral vision (I wouldn't have seen that), it was a full out head turn. I watched as his head tracked to follow these ladies as they went from a 2 o'clock through to a 5 o'clock position in relation to his vehicle. I watched as he literally turned around to look out his back window to continue 'checking them out'. If only drivers put this much effort in to their shoulder checks, our roads would be considerably safer.

So what does this have to do with the book? One of the big stories in the book is that of one of the authors (I think) driving his fairly nice sports car along the road, locking his eyes on to a not-very-well-restrained set of breasts attached to a jogger on the sidewalk. In his enjoyment of the 'scenery' he failed to notice that traffic had stopped, and he plowed in to the vehicle in front of him.

I don't want "bird watching" to be the answer when the police ask me what I was doing when I crash in to that car in front of me.

Should I ever be married, I want to be able to go for a walk with my wife and give intelligent answers to "were you just looking at that woman?". I'll say "Yes, I was. Did you notice how her blouse clashed with her skirt, it would have looked so much nicer if she had balanced it like you did with your outfit. You look stunning in that!"

And lastly, should God ever see fit to ask me "Did you look at that woman lustfully?" (even though He knows the answer already), I want to be able to say, without the least fear of being smote for lying, that I did not.

All that to say, I hate how some of my fellow men can be so damned stupid. That guy was so distracted, he very easily could have driven right up and over the little car in front of him.

Buttons

2007-05-13T00:35:00.000-06:00

Thinking of a title for my last post brought up something else I wanted to share.
Buttons, the pin type.

The town of Banff is in the middle of a massive 'refreshing' project to update and repair their municipal infrastructure. This is normally a fairly bland topic and could have resulted in bitterness among residents and visitors due to the inconvenience that they encounter. This doesn't seem to be the case though. In fact, the town did such a good job with their education/planning/appeasement that all who experience the 'refreshing' are quite happy. This could have been a "lipstick on a pig" situation, but some good planning ensured that the project wasn't a pig, and thus the lipstick was mostly unnecessary and actually appreciated by those around.

What am I yammering about? My new source of inspiration.
The Squirrels & The Buttons

A news article, covering Banff's 'refreshing', mentioned something which I found fascinating: people are stealing the squirrel signs that explain the project. These designers (whoever Banff had working on this) created road/safety/construction signs that people want enough to warrant stealing them.

I want people to want my creations to the point of theft!
It is now my goal to create something, at some point in my life, that people will like enough to steal it.

My sister was kind enough to bring back all five buttons for me; They now adorn my camera bag as a constant reminder of my goal.

Buttons

2007-05-12T23:36:00.000-06:00

Everyone has their pet peeves. Other people do certain things which just drive us batty. Sometimes they really are that much of an annoyance or inconvenience... but not often.

For me, I find, often through unfortunately-delayed introspection, that most of my pet peeves are based on the things that I hate within myself. I cannot stand bad whistling, which I assume is due to the inability of my own lips to form the notes which I imagine in my mind. I cringe when I see people digging digging their own intellectual/social graves with various small but ultimately damaging behaviours. Rarely does my annoyance/anger at their behaviour equal anywhere near the total amount that I am bothered, simply because I can see in them, that which I so often see, and hate, in myself. Too many eyes have glazed over while I spoke; Too many have been driven away by a ramble or rant on a topic that really needed not much more than a sentence or two; And too many feelings have been hurt by unnecessary, and usually incorrect, statements of my own opinion as fact.

I hate watching others make the same mistakes as me; But, as always, everything is easier to see and understand from an outside perspective. I don't see my mistakes until after I've made them.

I am somewhat comforted by this idea though; It, as with most observations of our very human state, is easily scaled up to the universal/spiritual level.
C.S. Lewis was the first and last person to ever explain eternity to me in a way that made sense and didn't trivialize who God is or what He did/does/will-do (three words and three tenses that, in his description, become meaningless). Though I'll never do it justice in a quote (go read Mere Christianity), the key idea is that God views time from outside the timeline. He sees the beginning, the end, and everything in between. One can't say "God knows what will happen" as if God were at our point and is simply looking ahead; Instead, God sees everything that happens and the linear progression is a triviality, but of course this is hard to express with all of our time-based descriptions. I play, I love, I sin, I choose, I fall, I grow, I swim, I eat, I draw, I read... If you're anything like me, these fragments are uncomfortable because they lack the linear time context that we are so used to.

As friends, we have the unique privilege to experience the 'lite' version of God's view. We know what our friends have done, we can see what they're doing (and know them well enough to know why), and we can usually see what's up ahead much more accurately than they ever could. But that still holds to linearity, and I think is impossible for us to view the situation in anything beyond this. God sees, as a whole, everything that our life encompasses. I don't think we can reach that point, but at least we can be used as an outside viewer to help our friends with the choices that they make. Unfortunately it is tough, if not impossible, to look inwardly with the same scope; I think this is why I/we have pet peeves. We see friends making the same mistakes but yet not being able to see or understand what they are actually doing. I suppose that God feels the same way (but without the associated guilt of making all of the same mistakes first, of course) as He watches us do all of the stupid things we do. If we would just listen, He would have told us that it wasn't a good idea. He may have even told us why, though, as the Almighty, He does have he distinct advantage of not having to justify everything that He says or does ("because I said so" is a valid answer for the Omniscient/Omnipresent/Omnipotent).

[Note: This was a mind dump. At some points I felt that I had something going, but I have a feeling that the train-of-thought went off the tracks (off the trestle, in to the gorge, and in to a smoking heap of its own wreckage)]

On a positive note

2007-04-29T00:06:00.000-06:00

I use this blog as a journal of sorts (my hand writing is horrendous) so, unfortunately, anyone who reads this will be occasionally subjected to depressing stuff like that last post.

But my life is nowhere near as bad as I often make it out to be; It is, in fact, quite pleasant.

I might get to shoot at the Pure Fashion fashion show in Calgary on May 6th. It is not set in stone, my accreditation is still pending, but I'm thankful for even the possibility. Though I look forward to having some fashion work in my portfolio, I am more excited about supporting an event like this. It needs much more exposure. I love modest women!

And, for the first time in a long time, I am really enjoying work. We've spent the last two weeks in meetings/courses with the goal of moving our department in to the role of bid and business development support. I can't help but laugh at my nerdy excitement over getting to develop proposals. The key through all of it is that I, along with my coworkers, will begin to gain some respect within the company. More importantly, the change in role is drastic enough that we might be able to gain some respect without the massive structural and personal (personnel...) restructuring that us peons originally thought would be necessary. I'm a loyal guy, and I love the company, so I wasn't looking forward to the coup d'état which was seeming like the only real option.

So ya, I am happy. I've graduated from Mount Royal (walking the stage on June 1), I have a decent paying job (though still hoping that they'll give me a raise when I become full-time/permanent), and I am still growing personally with many interesting opportunities on the horizon. Life is good.

And I ain't seen the sunshine since, I don't know when

2007-04-28T21:28:00.000-06:00

A fence, a concrete wall, a pack of guard dogs, countless rolls of barbed wire, bristling guard towers, and a full moat with sharks and crocodiles. Some people build these as an impenetrable fortress around their heart, never allowing anyone to get close enough to hurt them. A Fort Knox for the heart.

But for some, this wall serves as a prison, to protect those outside from what is inside.

I don't crush well. My friends, seem to have the knack; They like a girl, they realize it won't work, they cease to be interested. Simple as that. Ya, they may have lost an evening, a weekend, or a week in adoration and pursuit, but they get over it and move on. I've never been able to do that. My heart gets too involved, the feelings last for a long while, I try to hide my feelings (or end up blurting something out in desperation), and I kill friendships in the process. In the last 13 years, I have liked four women. There are so many possible permutations for that equation, some not bad at all, but the reality is that I never lasted longer than 6 months between these infatuations, which makes the average length troubling.
I've completely lost contact with three of them, and the fourth isn't far behind.

Folsom, Joliet, Alcatraz... these is where this heart belongs for a good while longer. It's a killer.

I know I had it comin',
I know I can't be free,
But those people keep a-movin',
And that's what tortures me.

Pack-o-bell

2007-04-27T19:11:00.000-06:00

I love this video!

If I were king...

2007-04-22T12:50:00.000-06:00

I often find myself thinking about how I would handle situations differently if I were the owner of a company, instead of a low-level peon.

I've never bothered to record these "If I were king" brainstorms; Now that I think about it, I really should. Even if I never own my own company, at least I'll have spent some time thinking about how to make life better. Who knows, maybe I'll stumble across the occasional malleable area in my current work environment. But I can't deny the desire to, one day, design an office for a company that I had a part in creating.

So, I give you my first published "great idea": The Joyn
It's not perfect, but I love the idea of collaborative work spaces. I'm thankful for my current office, a fairly large space shared by three of the marketing staff. 'Boss' is across the hall and occasionally puts his foot down about our chatter. But when his door is closed, we are usually successful at maintaining an open and creative atmosphere where ideas flow smoothly. If I ever own a company, I will hire and fire based on people's fit with the team. The workspace will be designed around this. A constant interactive flow of information between a carefully chosen team of professionals, each with a set of highly complimentary skills. Of course I'll make private areas available for when one actually needs some solitary thought time, but I love the idea of a huge table where everyone can work easily together.

Honestly, it all comes back to my "communal art" post from last July. This still resonates in my head. I want to make it happen, but I honestly have no idea how to start: Just like I have no idea how to start my own business (I honestly see the two ideas intrinsically intertwined).

Want to work with me? Want to be artistic with me? Talk to me!

Undefined

2007-04-17T21:21:00.000-06:00

For the last 18 years I have filled in "student" on forms.
For the last five years, I was primarily identified by what school I went to and what I was studying.
And for as long as I can remember, I always had an answer to "what's next?"

At 9:00 tonight I left the college, having just completed the last requirement in my applied degree program. I haven't felt this empty in years, I am undefined!

Ya, I have a job. But I spend my days working for an idiosyncratic boss, doing busy work while he holds our department back from actually developing and growing. We could do a lot for this company, we've been told from multiple sources that we have many things to offer which would benefit the whole organization in big ways (save them money, time, and face). I am loyal to the company, I like the company, and so I don't want to leave. But I honestly wonder whether this department, or my career with the company, will ever go anywhere. It's not about money, but I am nonetheless worried that I'll be laughed at when I ask for a raise when I renegotiate as a full time (non-student) employee. I wonder whether I'll ever be allowed to be of any benefit to the company as a whole (and not just the whims of the department head). That's not a nice feeling.

I need purpose, but I can't see any at the moment. What's next?

Bachelors...

2007-04-16T18:41:00.000-06:00

It was a year ago this month that I attended my first bachelor party (oddly enough, I also was one of the two guys in charge of planning it).

It was very enjoyable, and I'm glad to say that it was without any of the usual drunken debauchery associated with these events. Yes, there was alcohol, and I can honestly say that this was the most intoxicated I have ever been in my life (which isn't saying much... I got tipsy after downing a single pint on an empty stomach). Yes, there were strippers (they were walking around West Ed, saw our group t-shirts, and offered a photo with the groom who was forced by his cohorts to stand with these ladies. They invited him to their show that evening but he refused. Good man!). And there was even exotic underwear (yes, that is my face on that underwear... no, it wasn't my idea!).

I mention all of this because I have the distinct honor of planning an event like this once again. My good friend Nolan and I will spend the next few months preparing for the bachelor party of my good buddy Trevor who is engaged to be married sometime this Fall. The thing about bachelor parties is that they are an ever-escalating series of events. Celebrating with Nathan was awesome, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. But now that we've done that, we've gotta find a new level for Trevor. It'll be stupendous!

I'll leave you with this photo of Nathan in his ceremonial bachelor garb, seated beside Trevor (who, at that point, had only just begun dating the young lady who is now his fiance).

Ghost town trips

2007-04-15T20:20:00.000-06:00

Cyler and I are planning on doing a number of road-trips to various ghost towns around Southern Alberta. I've already had some people express some interest, I figured I should open it up to others as well. I don't see anything wrong with a convoy.

Some of possible destinations include:
Nordegg (I think this is my top choice)
Rowley (Near Drumheller)
Wayne (11 one-way bridges to get there, that's my kinda trip!)
Retlaw (Neat Taber, apparently)
Bankhead (Near Banff)
Blairmore (Crowsnest)
Frank (Site of the Frank Slide, Crowsnest)
Buffalo Jump
Dorothy (Near Drumheller)
Conquerville (deep southeast)
Kovach (3km hike in Kananaskis)

Odd music

2007-04-13T18:32:00.000-06:00

To all of my friends with crazy music connections, I need some help finding some odd CDs, preferably locally.
I do not know all of the local music shops around here, I'm hoping you might be able to push me in the right direction (or ask them about the CDs for me).

In 1992, a band called Deep Forest put out a CD single titled "Sweet Lullaby". It contains the original version of the song "Sweet Lullaby", as well as six remixed tracks. The "Nature's Dancing" remix can be heard as the soundtrack to Matt Harding's "Where the Hell is Matt?" video series (I suggest Dancing 2006 as a good introduction to this awesome internet phenomenon).

The most complete version of that CD single was released in Austria (658877 2), though there is a decent version that was released in Australia (Dance Pool DAN 658168 5) and here in Canada as a purely promotional release (Sony CDNK736).

So ya, I want that CD. I don't want to pay $50 for it or deal with some questionable dealer out of New York. And I'd be glad to pick up any other Deep Forest albums, if you ever happen to stumble across them.

Thanks!

The Butcher

2007-04-07T13:19:00.000-06:00

This is a Shrike. My father and I could not decide whether it was a Norther Shrike or a Loggerhead Shrike (the yearly migrations unfortunately blur at this time of year). Very rare here in Alberta, definitely not something I expected to see in my backyard.

A little more research revealed some interesting information about this bird. It looked soft and fluffy, and I figured it would behave in a similar manner... this is not the case.

They are called the "butcher bird", due to their habit of keeping corpses around.

They lack the sharp talons and strong beaks of their raptor brethren. After chasing their prey to exhaustion and stunning it with a hit, the Shrike then takes the insect/lizard/rodent/bird and impales it on a nearby barbed-wire fence or thorny bush. Not only does this fence or bush serve as a handy killing tool, but it also works as a handy skewer from which the Shrike may eat.

That is a crazy bird...

[reference]

Why must they always have sex...

2007-03-28T19:44:00.000-06:00

On Monday night, I watched Stranger Than Fiction with my family. The storyline is witty and emotionally fulfilling. The characters are well-written and masterfully portrayed by some of my favourite actors. I loved it (just as I did when I first saw it in theatres).

BUT!

I came away asking the same question that I so often find myself asking after movies... Why did they have to have sex?

Do not misunderstand me, there is nothing wrong with sex. God made it, and he made us to enjoy it. I hope that I may one day marry and experience it for myself. There is a wonderful passage in The Screwtape Letters that says of God (through the tongue of a demon):

He’s a hedonist at heart…. He makes no secret of it; at His right hand are pleasures forever more…. He’s vulgar, Wormwood. He has a bourgeois mind. There are things for humans to do all day long…sleeping, walking, eating, drinking, making love, playing, praying, and working. Everything has to be twisted before it is of any use to us.

So I say again, there is nothing wrong with sex. But it can be (and has been) twisted.
What perversion am I ranting about tonight? Sex outside of marriage.

I'm hate the seemingly arbitrary Christian answers for no sex before marriage. I believe that the Christian stance is right, and I believe that the bible supports it (albeit implicitly), but this has no meaning for a world that doesn't care what the bible says. What does interest me though is an apparent lack of happiness among those living the promiscuous lifestyle. Not only is it risky and notoriously unhealthy, but it also lacks any of the comfort, fulfillment, and passion of the marriages with which I am surrounded. That is my argument for sex only within marriage.

But yet, most Hollywood movies seem to think that love can be boiled down to a quick romantic moment followed by a breathy disrobing and a quick cut to the apparently contented couple lying naked in bed. A one night stand, or a series of one night stands (it may be the same person, but I cannot bring myself to label their romantic association as anything close to a healthy relationship). This isn't right.

Will Farrell's character brings a box of specialty flours (baking flours) to the lady whose interest he is seeking. That is awesome, I want to be that creatively romantic. He then professes his feelings for her (a disarmingly humble and timid "I want you"), makes some tax jokes, and then plays a guitar and sings an appropriately romantic version of Whole Wide World. Overall, that is some top notch romancing. And the way that she looks at him when he's singing the song... be still, my beating heart!

But then they had sex.

Why did they have to have sex?

They didn't have to have sex!

I don't think that movies are simply mindless entertainment; I simply cannot do that. I laugh, I cry, I memorize... these movie mean something to me and clearly embed themselves in my mind. I'm not alone in this, I doubt that there is anyone out there who is not affected by what they watch (despite whatever they might say).

Did Stranger Than Fiction convince someone to seek sex before marriage? I seriously doubt it. But what is the overall effect of watching similarly themed comedies, dramas, and 'chick flicks' from the age of your first PG movie through till the age when the opportunity for sex appears. How are people supposed to make a positive decision when the 'normal' behaviour which they have seen, throughout all their socially conscious lives, has been negative.

I don't want to stop watching movies like this, I loved 99% of it. But it drives me nuts that writers are too lazy to write an end to a romantic evening that doesn't involve sex. It is possible!

To all of the theatrical/cinematic writers in my life... get to it. Make me proud. Don't be lazy and give in to the status quo.

2007-03-15T19:24:00.000-06:00

I don't have much commentary to add to this video. Stumbled across it on YouTube and was really not sure how to take it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEB0SvMzKzg

My mother has kids in her classes who talk openly about how "the rivers will flow red with the blood of the jews". How are we supposed to approach this?

What am I?

2007-03-14T21:03:00.000-06:00

What am I doing?
What do I want to do?
What do I think I need to do?
What do I actually need to do?

Do I exist apart from a purpose. Back in highschool, in my theological toddler years (though I've not progressed much since), I used to think that we, as humans, were created by God around a particular goal, a purpose, a reason. I would tell you that we exist to do something. It may be big or small in the eyes of those around us, but it is ultimately valuable on the eternal timeline. I've encountered alot of depressed and suicidal people in my life, more than most I expect; This "purpose" rhetoric was my primary encouragement to them for many years (my appropriately educated friends may tell me that this was wrong approach, but it seemed to work at the time).

Do not misunderstand me, I have not stopped believing this. I am simply finding that, like most elements of the Christian faith, believing something is nowhere near as challenging as actually acting on that belief. I have always longed for the theophanic experiences of many of the bible stories, simply because I've always felt that His purpose for my life would be clearer and, more importantly, harder to ignore if it were not a comfortable task.

Elijah the Tishbite (no, I didn't have to type "Tishbite", I just like how it sounds) seemed to get pretty clear instructions about what he was supposed to say and do. Were his instructions clearer than mine, or was he simply listening better? What side am I on here? Would Elijah pat me on the back, or rebuke me and call down a drought?

The day

2007-02-13T19:37:00.000-07:00

To wax poetic on St. Valentine's eve is not a rare thing for me;
But for the first time, in a great many years, it is not done bitterly.
What curses, under bated breath, I would utter against those in love,
for, clearly, I did not know love as they did; unrequited, my feelings, thereof.

There was going to be more there, but I guess my ability to "wax poetic" has waned over the years. Probably for the best anyway, I was never much of a poet.
But it is crucial to note that whatever bitterness I felt towards Valentine's day, and the desirable state of the heart demonstrated therein, has dissipated. Not fully, I must admit, but I will make it through the day without the usual rants.

Yes, it is too commercialized.
Yes, the sentiments expressed on that day should not limited to that day.
And yes, I cannot deny a bit of "if everyone is special, no one is" bitterness towards the enforced pageantry of elementary school V-Days.

But it remains a day where I can see the love around me through a slightly clearer lens. The marriage of my parents, a growing number of my friends, and that small portion of our society with truly healthy relationships, can be noticed and appreciated. I am a romantic. I look at the marriage of Nathan and Lauren (or the newly minted Trevor and Melissa engagement) and I am happy, dare I say joyous, for what they have. What is my role in there lives if not to celebrate what God has given them?

And ya, I'm alone. I do not have a lady to romance. Yes, I desire that relationship. Oh how I desire it! But it clearly isn't time, so that's OK. It is one more year to faithfully wait, one more year to dream, and one more year to plan an ever-more elaborate wooing of that lady I hope to meet.

And I hope she'll like cards like this (and is willing to watch the occasional Star Trek/Wars movie):

In my backyard

2007-02-10T16:16:00.000-07:00

Chickadees, sparrows, house finches, nuthatches, wood peckers, magpies, pigeons, blue jays, and squirrels. My father is the faithful servant of them all.

Our bird feeder is a hub of activity in our backyard, and a constant source of entertainment for my bird-watching family.

Figured I'd share the view with you.

Enjoy

http://www.shorterthanjesus.com/gallery/birdfeeder/

Misinterpretation

2007-02-03T13:18:00.000-07:00

I was out for dinner last night with some very good friends. Knowing that I would be waiting alone in the lobby for an extended period of time, I had brought a book to read. "Toasts & Tributes," of the Gentlemanners series, was the book which I happened to choose. When my friends arrived and noticed my book, we found ourselves laughing at the often ridiculous demands placed on a "gentleman." I believe their reaction was best summed up in Cyler's response to the idea of a hand-written invitation to a 'jacket and tie' evening of cocktails and hors d'œuvre: "If you ever send me an invitation like that, I'll kick you in the groin."

Back when a gentleman was the norm and the oaf was an oddity, most of the prescribed 'gentlemanly' behaviours would not be have seemed out of place. But in today's world where the oafish is considered standard (ride the bus for 15 minutes and tell me I'm wrong), even the simplest gentlemanly behaviour stands out. I'm not saying that Cyler's response was wrong (or oafish, in the context of this paragraph). An invitation like that is unheard of in our culture, especially among people of our age. But I fear for our society when a similar disgust or confusion is felt when even the basic principles of gentlemanly courtesy are demonstrated.

I worry about misinterpretation.

In a society where this behaviour is rare, are gentlemanly respect and attention easily misinterpreted as signs of romantic feelings?

I desire the chivalrous lifestyle, I can't imagine a better behaviour model to complement a Godly lifestyle (my other goal in life). I want every woman in my life to feel respected, honored, supported, and special. But can I, in this day and age, behave in this way without giving the impression that I've got a crush on each and every one of them? Were I handsome and charming, it might not be an issue, they might be quite flattered by such a misinterpreted crush. But I fear that, reality being what it is, I'll have every lady in my life avoiding me because she doesn't want to confront me about the feelings she assumes I have for her. Women rarely seem to be kind enough to give an outright rejection (interesting). This hurts when the crush is real, but in this case I just fear that I'll be left with a friendship crippled by her avoidance of feelings which she wrongly supposes I have for her.

I may be completely wrong here. I openly acknowledge the dangerous amount of extrapolation involved in this thought process.

Simply, I am a gentleman (working on it) and not a flirt. I want every woman to feel honored by my behaviour towards her. I don't want her to think that I have a crush on her when I don't. Their lives, and my life, are better off without such complications (I've yet to meet anyone who likes rejecting or being rejected).

How do I make this work? I haven't the faintest idea.
Maybe it really isn't a problem at all.

--Excerpts that I liked from previous versions of this post--

"A gentleman might very easily be categorized as a flirt. A pulled chair, held door, and timely compliment simply take the places of the whistle, cat call, and pick-up line."

"I am blessed to have a group of friends made up of ladylike ladies and gentlemanly gentlemen. No, we don't take it to the degree of pomp and circumstance demarcated by "the books" but we do behave in a manner that is usually a step above a good portion of our peers. In our group, to act like a gentleman is not an odd thing and, thankfully, this means that our attempts at gentlemanly behaviour are not confused as anything more than what they are."

Screwtape Letters

2007-01-27T16:31:00.000-07:00

I am missing my copy of Screwtape Letters.

I loaned it out a number of years ago, but I cannot remember to whom it was loaned.
It was my grandfather's, so it does have some special meaning to me. It is a small paperback with dark cover art, published sometime in the 1960's I think. It was in rough shape when I loaned it out, some tape rips and such. It might have my grandfather's name in it (Sidney Dove).

Please search your bookshelves for this, I really would like to read it again.

Thanks.

Killer Bunnies

2007-01-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

I played "Killer Bunnies" last Saturday and loved it. This has to be one of the most creative and ridiculous card games known to man. And what makes it better, as I found out today, is that it is an almost "open-source" card game. You can download the card templates and make your own. A sketched version of one of the bunnies, some of the downloaded elements, and a bad facsimile of the Enviro font, and you have what you see below: The Jonny Bunny Card. My attempt at it may not be awesome, but the potential is there. I'd be glad to work with anyone to create custom cards for the next game night.

Count onward list, for someday I will be next.

2007-01-22T22:40:00.000-07:00

Eons ago, a group of enlightened men sat together to fathom the unfathomable, to discover the undiscoverable, and to list the unlistable. These men hold within them a gnostic knowledge of the ordinal nature of love, death, progeny, and the killing of zombies. They sequestered themselves away for what seemed an eternity, returning only when the sacred lists were complete. Few of the uninitiated have ever heard the wisdom of the lists, fewer still have actually laid eyes on the remarkable foolscap, but all recognize the power held within them. Some say the lists are prophetic. Others say that they are causal. But in the end, all agree on the simple fact that they are right.

< I intended to do more with that but I'm tired and really lost my train of thought. Simply know that lists from highschool have now correctly predicted the first two engagements from our group of friends and seem poised to fairly accurately predict the order of the next few. I do actually hope for some inaccuracy though as I am otherwise doomed to be the last fellow married. >

So it is with great joy that I heard of the latest couple, engaged as prognosticated. Trevor and Melissa, two most excellent friends, engaged last week through an appropriately comedic yet ultimately romantic plan put in motion by the ever-creative Trevor.

I figured I would share my favourite photo of them, sitting in what also happens to be one of my favourite places (the Vermillion lakes @ Banff)

Touch

2007-01-21T22:46:00.000-07:00

I get excited about some rather nerdy things, most of which have very little relevance to daily life.

This is not one of those things! I beg you watch this movie and then to take 30 seconds and simply think of the possibilities that this technology allows for. I cannot be alone in my appreciation of this.

Multi-Touch Demonstration by Jeff Han

I remember when my friend, Victor, excitedly told me about this technology. I passed it off as a gimmick, not really seeing what he saw. Victor describes himself as a "blue sky thinker" and I discounted his excitement as simply futuristic dreaming. After almost four months of lunch-hour conversations, I am proud to say that my stance has changed. His appreciation of this new technology, driven by his ability to truly imagine its use in the not-so-distant future, is absolutely infectious. We spend our lunch-hours in lively conversation, talking about Jeff Hans (the creator of the technology in the video) and other inventors in a manner reminiscent of the school-yard discussions about Batman/Superman/Spiderman. How cool (and useful) would it be to have their powers? Though Hans and his peers may not be jumping between buildings or flying around the world, I love that I can look at their achievements and ideas and know that I am not simply dealing with fiction anymore! This is a reality which is only a few years away from being perfectly accessible to us. And we can only begin to imagine how any of these new technologies will change our daily lives.

I need a recipe

2007-01-13T17:13:00.000-07:00

To anyone with any knowledge of the kitchen: I need your help!

Spaghetti al Limone (ie. Lemon Spaghetti)
I first saw the recipe on David Rocco's "Dolce Vita" and, immediately, my interest was piqued. When I got around to checking the Food Network's website, the recipe was nowhere to be found.

If any of you, or any of your cookbooks, have a recipe for this, I would love to hear from you.

Many thanks.

A gentleman...

2006-12-25T23:41:00.000-07:00

Here at the close of Christmas day, I am sated. It was enjoyable and I am most thankful for the time I was able to spend with my family. The gifts were nice as well, though I'd like to think that I've grown less materialistic as I've aged.

The highlight of my day was receiving four books from the "Gentlemanners" series. As authors, John Bridges and Bryan Curtis succeed in presenting etiquette in a clear, succinct, and memorable manner. The four books cover: table manners, entertaining/hospitality, the writing of toasts and correspondence, and everyday behaviour. I was introduced to the series through my friend Trevor. A few of us friends were sitting in his basement and he decided (the causal circumstances are long forgotten) to mockingly orate an excerpt from "As A Gentleman Would Say." I was won over and have, from that point on, desired to add that book (and its companion volumes) to my library. Though some of the ideas could be considered culturally irrelevant or "over the top," most of the books contain very valuable advice which I intend to learn and enact throughout my life. I've always wanted to be a gentleman, known for the feelings of respect and honor that people feel they receive from me. Plus, its always handy to know weird things like how to cut in during a waltz and what to say to a lady whose evening dress looks like maternity clothing.

With that said, I figured I'd share the opening section of "A Gentleman At The Table." Since much of our time together is spent around a table, I couldn't think of a more suitable excerpt to share.

32 things every gentleman should know before he comes to the table.

A gentleman does not "grade" the table manners of his fellow diners.
A gentleman does not assume that his fellow diners are "grading" his own behaviour.
A gentleman does not talk with his mouth full.
A gentleman does not chew with his mouth open, nor does he smack his lips, no matter how delicious the food may be.
A gentleman makes as little noise as possible while eating.
A gentleman does not chomp on ice.
A gentleman does not pick his teeth at the table.
A gentleman keeps his napkin in his lap while he is eating. He does not tuck it into his shirtfront.
A gentleman sits up straight, especially at the table.
A gentleman keeps his elbows off the table when a meal is under way.
If a gentleman finds that he has breadcrumbs on his shirtfront, he brushes them off.
A gentleman finds no need to apologize for bread crumbs.
A gentleman does not play with his food, knead his bread with his fingers, or stir the last uneaten morsels of his dinner about on the plate.
A gentleman does not wear his ball cap or any other headgear at the table.
If a gentleman is asked to pass the salt or pepper, he passes them both.
A gentleman does not leave the table without asking to be excused.
When a gentleman leaves the table, he not need explain his reason for asking to be excused.
A gentleman does not lean back in his chair.
A gentleman tries his best not to belch or burp at the table.
A gentleman knows that belches, burps, and coughs can occur at any time. He keeps his napkin ready to muffle unfortunate sounds.
A gentleman need not use his pock-handkerchief to stifle a slight sneeze, cough, or burp at the table. Instead, he uses his napkin.
If a gentleman finds himself in a situation, such as a fit of sneezing that necessitates the use of his pocket-handkerchief, he leaves the table.
A gentleman never blows his nose at the table.
A gentleman says please and thank you, especially to servers, in a restaurant or in a private home.
A gentleman does not wolf down his food.
A gentleman does not slurp his soup.
A gentleman does not attempt to cool his food by blowing on it. If he fears singeing his taste buds, he lets his food gradually and undisturbed in its own bowl or on its own plate.
A gentleman never argues with a server, at a restaurant, or at a private party.
Whether he is an invited guest or the host of a restaurant party, a gentleman shows up on time.
A gentleman does not overstay his welcome. However, he may linger at the table after dinner along with the other guests and his host or hostess, knowing that such moments are often most pleasing and satisfying of the evening.
A gentleman does not loosen his belt, no matter how discreetly, even after an extravagantly large meal.
In any aspect of his life, but especially at the dinner table, a gentleman does not bite off more than he can chew.

Christmas Party Proof

2006-12-17T14:45:00.000-07:00

The day after the annual Harris Family Christmas party. I enjoyed myself, I hope everyone else did. It was definitely a bit more subdued with our loudest and most energetic friends either crippled or out of town.

Some choice photos from the evening:

I had to work for this shot. Melanie spent all evening blocking various people's attempts to photograph her. It remains my goal to become skilled enough at photography to make people like Melanie and Amy comfortable in front of my camera.

Dan and Holly. It was nice to finally meet Holly; We had heard about her for well over a year but had never actually met her. She's a very nice young lady. She and Dan make a cute couple.

Trevor and his creepy cardboard girlfriend.

Here we see Nolan, making a move on Trevor's creepy cardboard girlfriend.

The ever lovely Amy. RJ took this shot and clearly has some kind of amazing talent. Amy screams and cowers when I try to take her photo.

Suited Trevor and the cripples (RJ and Nolan). RJ has a nice line of staples in his arm from a recent fracture; Nolan has a small bandage on his knee, the size of which really contradicts the gruesomeness of the nail-gun wound beneath it.

Party in Six Days

2006-12-10T20:29:00.000-07:00

So, my Christmas party is in six days. Hooray for all who are coming, I pity those who are not (Banff, cruise, exams... lame excuses people!)

I figured I'd post a reminder regarding my desire for competing gingerbread creations. Last year there were only two... We must have more gingerbread creations!

So to spur you on in your creativity, the blueprints for my creation are below. Christ Church Anglican Cathedral in Fredricton, New Brunswick [the real thing]. Designed by famed Gothic Revival architect, Frank Wills. This has long been one of my favourite peices of Canadian architecture; I hope I can do it justice with this oh-so-delicious recreation.

2006-12-10T00:37:00.001-07:00

Writing Resources

2006-12-07T09:42:00.000-07:00

Having just completed my term paper, it occured to me that I have a whole stack of resources which might have been helpful for my fellow post-secondary students. If you aren't done your semester yet, feel free to borrow some of these. If you are done, sorry, but you are welcome to use these next semester.

The Chicago Manual of Style 15th Edition (The writer's bible)
Turabian's "A Manual for writers of Term Papers, Theses, and Dissertations" (Gold)
Strunk & White's "The Elements of Style" (The writer's apocrypha)
Reuben's "Science and Technical Writing " (Excellent for anything scientific)
Blake & Bly's "The Elements of Technical Writing (Great for those scared of big books)
Hacker's "Rules for Writers 4th edition" (The 'illustrated children's book' of writing resources. Very accessible and very handy)
Campbell's "Coherence, Continuity, and Cohesion" (Painful to read, but the theory is good)

I have a few others lying around which I'd also be glad to loan out.

And, of course, if you ever need advice, editing, or critiques, I'd be glad to help. I'd like to think that the last four years of school have molded me in to a half-decent technical writer.

Hugs

2006-12-05T19:28:00.000-07:00

The following video is about free hugs. It is quite awesome. Yes, this does seems to counter what I said over the last few weeks, chalk it up to me being a complicated individual.

[Edit: I was going to try and do some awesome embedded video here but it just wasn't cooperating. Check out the link]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diccc7je8tg

Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

2006-12-05T17:21:00.000-07:00

Once in a while, God gives me an evening where my voice actually sounds good. I love it, I sing loudly in my car, loudly enough for me to actually hear the echo and realize that I'm actually sounding decent. It happened singing Christmas carols in the car the other night, and I couldn't help but think about the movie Elf and the short scene where Buddy and Jovy sing together (in the ladies washroom, no less). This is something I have long desired (the singing, not the ladies washroom). I want to sing to, and with, the lady of my life. And, by golly, on those nights where my voice doesn't sound like a strangled cat, I can't help but dream that I could sing to that lady and woo her with crooned lines like "Your eyes are like starlight now" or "I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell."

Thankfully the good voice doesn't come around often, I'd hate for the ladies to miss my oh-so-charming stutttters and misspeaks.

Go see a movie with Jonny (you know you wanna)

2006-11-29T18:30:00.000-07:00

My "movies to be seen" list is below with each movie's respective release date. I likely won't be seeing them on the day that they come out, but hopefully not too long after. If you want to join me, let me know.

Edit [Nov. 10]: [Further edited on November 29] Discussions with wise people in my life has somewhat lessened by fervent protests against Borat. I still stand strong in my dislike for the exploitation of people, but calling my friends out and insulting them because they enjoyed the movie was wrong. There were funny parts and I did laugh at them, but I won't be watching this movie again simply because of their placement of these funny moments within an otherwise (IMO) despicable movie.

Edit [Nov. 11] My faith in movies is restored. Stranger Than Fiction is amazing and made me so happy. Many would likely disagree but I'd label it as an excellent date movie, but then again I also found Will Farrell's "Elf" to be a charmingly romantic movie (I'm a sucker for couples that sing together). The narration was both witty and eloquent and the story premise was, though silly at points, thoroughly charming.

Edit [Nov. 29] Happy Feet has been watched. Please see the review below for the full dose of my exuberance.

Movies Seen
Now Playing - Borat!
[Seen on November 10] Not only was this a waste of my time, but I honestly feel guilty for not walking out of there. I am no prude, I enjoy Monty Python films and am either able to ignore or handle off-color jokes... but the few truly funny moments of Borat were sparsely placed throughout an otherwise over-the-top offensive movie based wholly on the manipulation and humiliation of others. It could be argued that many of them deserved it, but I am still not comfortable with the exploitation of people, especially for the laughter of others.
Now Playing - Stranger Than Fiction
[Seen on November 11] This is an excellent movie. I came away very happy (soured by the theft of my family truck... but still, the movie was excellent). I would love to see this movie again. And I know I will thoroughly enjoy it even if I don't make it a date movie (as mentioned above).
Now Playing - Happy Feet
[Seen on November 29] Happy Feet made my feet happy, along with the rest of me. My romantic side was aww'd, my funny bone was tickled, my toes were made to tap, and my nerdiness was awash in computer generated bliss. This movie is spectacular. Please, take me with you when you go to see it, I will be glad for any excuse to enjoy this movie again.

Movies I Have Yet To See
Now Playing - The Queen
Now Playing - Flushed Away
Now Playing - Casino Royale
December 1 - The Nativity Story
December 8 - Unaccompanied Minors
December 22 - Night at the Museum

"I hate Christmas parties"

2006-11-26T00:25:00.000-07:00

No, I don't actually hate Christmas parties, but one of the many themes in that song by Relient K is the idea of being uncomfortable at parties.

What's so uncomfortable? Unfamiliarity!

I can go to a party and be perfectly happy simply hanging out with my well established friends. But, at least in my mind, this defeats one of the primary purposes of a party: meeting people! Unfortunately, this also happens to be one of my greatest fears.

Will they like me? Will they want to talk to me? Will it get akward after a minute or two? Do they even want to be approached by me?

I'm not one who hides well, most people notice me fairly quickly in a group. For years I figured that I was an odd-man-out with this shyness and that anyone who was actually interested in talking to me, would. My conclusion from those years? Either no one wanted to talk with me, or there are a whole lot of other people like me out there who aren't comfortable with making that first walk across the room.

I have met many interesting people in my life and had many excellent conversations with them, but none of these are attached to parties. They are all situations where I've been, for lack of a better description, forced in to close quarters with someone and gotten to know them better out of necessity. But I'd hate to think that my only way of meeting people is by force.

So how do I take it to the next level? I honestly don't know. Heck, I've been reading Jen's blog for weeks in amongst my travels through our blog circle but yet I didn't even make an effort to walk over, officially introduce myself, and chat at Amy's party last night. We can read and comment on detailed and introspective journal entries from each other but yet I didn't even go bother to sit down and talk. How friendly is that?? So something has got to change because, if for absolutely no other reason, I am convinced that there are a whole lot of very interesting people out there who I have not talked to and who I am missing out talking with because of my shyness. It's time for a change.

Things for me to remember at a party:

The only opinion which really matters is that of God (a slip of the tongue or a failed conversation is not a huge loss in the big scheme of things).
I don't need to be the last one at the party, a mid-evening departure is not an etiquette-busting option if I've carried myself well for the time what I was there and exhausted all opportunities for socialization.
I'm pretty good at reading people, I shouldn't fear approaching them as long as I am aware of their reactions and make appropriate decisions regarding whether I should continue a conversation or not.
As awestruck as I am around women, I'm gonna have to grow up and talk to them someday, however knee-shakingly nervous I may be. 50% of the people I meet will be ladies, and I'm sure they've got some interesting stories to hear as well. I have to be careful about flirting and such, but I'd like to think I have enough self-control to actually keep up a conversation with a woman without slipping in to 'romantic Jonny' mode.
I need to actually know what I'm talking about. If I don't and someone else does, I need to be humble enough to listen and learn. If I do, maybe that's my 'interesting' topic for the night. Either way, need to watch my pride.

So that's where I'm at. Any other suggestions are always welcome.

4-chords

2006-11-23T19:48:00.000-07:00

For those who know and love music, I would suggest watching the following link.

4 chords, whole buncha songs.

Winter Memories

2006-11-21T23:11:00.000-07:00

Having just read Jen's post about those special moments in life, I was reminiscing about an evening that I had 2 years ago, during the Christmas season.

I had been working late at the college and found myself waiting waiting for the 9:00 #13 to arrive. It was probably around -20 or so outside with a light dusting of snow falling. Those of us who were waiting were surprised when we saw an oddly colored, older model, #13 bus adorned with the old mechanical route sign. It was an absolutely wonderful (never thought I'd use those words to describe a Calgary Transit vehicle) experience. It had an incomplete looking purple/beige paint job (inside and out), thickly-padded split-bench seats with real fabric upholstery, rear doors that still had to be opened by the driver, and a heating system which somehow managed to evenly heat the entire bus to that perfect "in from the cold" temperature without any uncomfortable hot spots. I gazed around for a moment, found my favourite seat (window, door-side, right in front of the rear doors), and settled in. My CD player had a mixed Christmas album playing on it and I was absolutely blissful as I rode that crazy looking bus through 35 minutes of some of the most beautiful scenes imaginable (Upper Mount Royal homes with fresh snow and that ethereal winter glow).

I praised God alot during that ride. That experience, at least for me, was a joy blessing in one of the most unusual and unexpected forms. God knows what we like, and He can and does meet those likes once in a while, but that night taught me that He knows me well enough to give me a joy well beyond what I could have imagined, even through something as seemingly kitschy as a bus.

Touch

2006-11-20T22:30:00.000-07:00

[I had this post up for a couple of hours last week, but I removed it out of fear that I really was quite weird in feeling this way. Having, just now, returned from a weekend retreat where this very topic came up, I feel comfortable posting this, knowing that I am not alone in feeling this way, and that the physical contact "love language" is actually quite common.

It is also worth noting that this was written in a rather selfish mood where I somehow skipped over my family who often demonstrates caring through a hugs and such. I guess that I was assuming that as a given, and only looking externally.]

It is no wonder to me that self injury is so common these days. Those who suffer with it often make claims of chasing some kind of feeling in an otherwise numb life. I thank God for the hope He has given me to stay away from that struggle, but I know the numbness all too well.

If you were placed in a pitch dark room for a long period of time, wouldn't you naturally question after a while whether you had simply gone blind at some point and you now simply couldn't see what had turned in to an otherwise bright and friendly room? I was sitting here trying to remember the last purposeful touch that I had given to, or received from, a friend. A hug, a pat on the back, a squeeze of the shoulder, a hand on the head... nothing. Last night, in one of those dark and negative moods, I sat in my room questioning whether I would actually be able to feel anything if someone actually did dare come near me.

The apostle John sat beside Jesus, laying his head on the chest of the messiah while they talked. There was such intimacy (we need to reclaim this word from the purely 'sexual' usage) in that connection. A student and his rabbi, two friends.

Our group used to pray intimately, "texas style" as Nolan and Faye deemed it (the electric chair). You would be covered in hands and you knew that you had some connection with those people. Your shoulders would be squeezed, your head would be patted, you would be jostled back and forth, there was no doubt that you were loved.

Now, on the rare occasion that we actually pray for each other, there is no contact. Nor is there much contact at any other points. It's like we're lepers, or think everyone else is. Guys don't dare touch other guys any more. I hate that the specter of homosexuality has destroyed the idea of this kind of non-sexual intimacy among men. It was a true and valuable kind of friendly/brotherly intimacy before it was perverted and attached to corrupted sexuality. Why can't we, as Christian brothers, be as close as Jesus and John.

I don't know if I am totally alone in this or not. I'm sure that I've freaked out a bunch of you. But I cannot ignore the fact that I crave touch: it is how I know that people care for me. It also happens to be one of the most uncomfortable things for people to do around someone like me (no one likes touching a fat guy), and for that reason I am equally hesitant to dole it out as I don't know how it would be taken. I am very confident that I am not alone in feeling this way.

I'd also like to mention that I do believe that this disconnect is justified in terms of my actions of this sort towards women. In my experience, there are two sorts of guys who are comfortable expressing themselves in this manner with their lady friends:

Real men of God who have gained the maturity, self-control, and respect for women through the lense of God.
Guys who are comfortable exploiting their lady friends to fulfill an agenda of lust (acknowledged or not) under the guise of real friendship.

The former being the goal which I long for but have yet to reach. The latter being what I dread becoming. So I have to say, as much as I wish that I didn't, that there is value in rule #1.

(That's alot of stuff, I know. But I'd like to hear your thoughts on it.)

'tis the season

2006-11-20T21:42:00.002-07:00

Mr. and Mrs. Horch (the younger) were getting all mushy under the open hatchback of my car the other day. The ensuing discussion ended with the insistence that my car needed mistletoe... so here's a mock-up of the eventual setup

For further effect, I will now quote some lines from one of my favourite Christmas tunes: "Mistletoe" by The Heebee Jeebees

Oh the weather outside is grating,
If you don't have luck with dating,
If your love life has left you low,
Mistletoe mistletoe mistletoe.
...
If you pucker up for a kiss,
It's the shrub that you're gonna need,
And the truth of the story is,
It brings happiness, this Christmas weed.
...
Results are more safe than drugging,
And it just might lead to hugging,
You'll be married before you know,
Mistletoe mistletoe mistletoe

Pure Fashion

2006-11-14T16:55:00.000-07:00

I have some awesome coworkers. One in particular, Victor, constantly amazes me with new tidbits about the world. On Monday, he introduced me to some photos he took at the Pure Fashion show in May of this year. I could tell you about the crazy camera equipment he has (and my jealousy over it) but what really struck me was the beauty of the young women in the photos.

As I've said in other posts, I enjoy looking at women. I'd be lying if I said otherwise. I find them fascinating and beautiful. But there needs to be a clear distinction made between the appreciation of a woman's beauty and the act of "checking her out;" The former is pure and respectable, comparable to the times when I praise God over the beauty in a sunset, flower, or lanscape. The latter is most often sexual and disrespectful to the woman, not unlike shopping in a meat market. Too often I find myself redirecting my eyes away from an immodestly dressed woman because I know my weaknesses and recognize that there is no way I'll be able to look at her in a respectful manner. The question which must always be asked is whether a woman has a face or personality in the mind of the men who see her. If her clothing is modest, her smile, eyes, personality, laugh, and behaviour will be ingrained in the minds of men who meet her. If her clothing is immodest, she might as well look like this as that is all that the guys will see and remember.

So here we have a fashion show based entirely on promoting modest and virtuous dress for young ladies (please notice the lack of frumpy grandma-sweaters and burkas). How awesome is that.

(Note: Yes, I know that the Venus de Milo has a head... that wouldn't have illustrated my point very well. Hooray for Photoshop).

How to know if something is funny.

2006-11-11T21:33:00.000-07:00

My father is my humour litmus test. Only the dry wit of an engineer can give a reliable assessment of the true humour of a situation. If he chuckles, that is good. If he laughs out loud, that's even better. But when he giggles, I know the joke has hit its mark.

I present to you, a giggle-worthy image.

[a play on " oh the humanity", for those who don't know what this is referring to]

Jonny's Guidelines for Platonic Friendship

2006-11-09T18:34:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading a humourous article containing tips for girls on how to support a platonic friendship with a guy. I found the original to be crude and troublingly worldly but I liked the general idea [the original]. So without further ado, I present to you, Jonny's guidelines for platonic Friendships.

Jonny's Guidelines for Platonic Friendship
Some suggestions for the ladies to avoid any confusion in a male-female friendship.

1. No hugging for greetings or salutations. Hugging is only allowed for personal tragedies or blessed events when the emotional significance of the situation blocks out the knowledge that your breasts are pressing against me. We have hands; lets shake them. (Ya, this may be a bit blunt, but it is reality. I, like many of my dude cohorts, am seeking to live a holy life, sexual temptation is one of the leading attacks against us guys)

2. Your clothing speaks loudly, what is it saying? God made women beautiful, they are an artform beyond any creation of human hands. For us men who still seek some modicum of gallantry, the desire is strong to carefully appreciate the beauty of the women in our lives while not letting the flesh corrupt that appreciation. Are you helping or hurting the cause?

3. No seat sharing. When girls sit on the arm of my chair or in my lap or next to me in a one-person seat, I cannot help but think that she is at least somewhat interested in me.

4. No flirting. If you laugh at a joke of mine, it had better be a funny joke.

5. No sparing of my feelings. It’s emasculating. If I am truly making a fool of myself, feel free to clue me in, that’s what friends do.

6. No setting me up on pity dates. If you truly know of a woman who would be very happy with me and I with her, then we will talk.

7. No being attracted to me. You weren't interested in me before, if you change your mind but still only want to be friends, don't tell me. In fact, don’t even compliment me as that will torment me for days.

8. No confiding in me about boys. I am not your girl friend; I am your man friend who, when it comes to relationship advice, will be taking the same stance as your big brother. I officially hate all men that you date now or in the future. Asking for hypothetical guy advice is okay. But don't immerse me in all of the details of your current relationship, there is only so much I can handle. If this rule seems contrary to rule 5, just remember that I’m a beautifully complex being.

9. No asking for man favors such as furniture moving, yard work, or car trouble help. I don't like to waste displays of extreme masculinity on women who otherwise have no interest in me. In a pinch you can bribe me to do man chores with beer. Please hand me the case as a gift versus doling them out one at a time from your fridge. This keeps it strictly business.

10. Try to avoid incidental contact. I can't outlaw this since there are times when the brush of a leg or a sleeve is purely accidental, but try to be careful. You can take steps to not put your arm in mine while walking or lay against me on a couch or other things like that. Those messages just do not mix with the friend variable.

11. No asking for massages or neck rubs. The messages that sends are way to confusing for our man minds to handle. Shouldn't your wonderful boyfriend be doing that for you anyway?

12. No dating any guy who treats you bad or neglects you in any way. That is just a slap in the face of every nice guy in your life.

Gingerbread Architecture

2006-11-04T12:32:00.000-07:00

2 years, 2 Christmas parties, and 2 gingerbread creations demanding more skill than I could muster. I know that there are some who could pull off the gothic-revival detailings of the Canadian parliament buildings or the guldastras or the pistaqs of the beautiful Taj Mahal, but I am definitely not one who holds those talents. Young Ms. Archer showed up last year with a masterful mansion/fortress containing elaborately decorated parapets, fine icing detailing, and, the piece de resistance, stained glass windows. She is definitely one of those who could actually master the famous ones. I think that she should try for St. Patrick's Church in Medicine Hat. (note: each word in that name has a different link)

So in light of the ridiculous lengths I've gone to in jurry-rigging support for otherwise doomed creations, I think I'll stick with something simple like a pleasant cottage or something like that. Ooo, maybe that crazy-awesome wood-cutters cottage from Sleeping Beauty (yes, we watched it a few days ago at the Horch house, it was as wonderfully sappy as I had remembered it).

PS. No, I don't have the architectural terminology of the Taj Mahal memorized. Wikipedia is a wonderful thing.

Wyndham Carseland - Take 2

2006-10-30T23:29:00.000-07:00

Got around to processing the remainder of my shots from an October 8th camping trip. I've got a long way to go in terms of thought and application but I am pleased with my improvement over the last year or so. I love this, and I want to share it (both the activity and the end results) with others who enjoy it as well.

Seriously, I need some exercise. Grab your camera, call me up, and lets go shooting. Wherever, whenever, and whatever.

A run-of-the-mill shot from a gravel bank in the river.

A flower, cropped in a "bookmark" style which I've become fond of lately.

Friends of the family, father and son with their dog. We were out on a gravel-bar with our slingshots, target practice on rocks and driftwood.

The moon about 10 minutes after sunset. I took a highly bracketed set of shots here to give me he glow, the lit landscape, and a detailed moon which I could then combine together once I got home.

4-minute shot of the road beside our campsite. Didn't expect the truck to go through, I liked the results though.

Another 'bookmark' crop, taken from the shot which I posted with the original bunch.

Jonny's Most Premium Christmas Party

2006-10-29T18:12:00.000-07:00

We're growing up, and it seems that our schedules fills up earlier with each year we add to that count. So now you have 2-months warning, I've already missed deadlines for some but I hope that I haven't missed the window for rest of you.

December 16 is my family's annual Christmas party and you are formally invited. The format of past years has seemed agreeable to most so I won't be changing much, I am open to ideas though. The usual stuff being: food, games, movies, gingerbread architecture contest (prebuilt, we lack construction facilities here), and maybe some movies (Grinch, Charlie Brown, He-Man). We'll probably commence festivities around 7:30 or so.

Give me a call or email if you plan to come.

The Aftermath

2006-10-28T21:02:00.000-06:00

So you saw me rant about Africa. Surprisingly, there was no swift response from the Almighty saying "you're wrong." Doesn't mean that He agreed with me (we're talking about THE love here), but He didn't strike me down.

He has been working on me over the last few days though. Examining how my faith reality can mix with an otherwise cynical and angry political reality. What has come out of it is an idea of parallel motivations and working. I still say that something needs to change over there (Africa or wherever), that is undeniable. We're talking about systematic restructuring of governments, communities, and the entire way of life. But this cannot trump my compassion for the hungry, homeless, persecuted, and ill over there. I've gotta try and hit both.

Giving food to people while working to help them build the infrastructure (people, tools, education, etc.) for them to eventually make their own food. Curing their diseases while working to help them train doctors and buy medicine on their own. Providing for widows and orphans while working towards social programs to help reduce the root causes behind both of those conditions.

And, arguably the most important part, in these actions, showing love to these people and sharing the truth. We have missionaries who march in to places, shove God down people's throats, and ruin societies. Then we have humanitarian organizations which deal with the physical needs but don't address the spiritual. God cares about these people, body and soul.

Flirtatious Jonny

2006-10-24T20:29:00.000-06:00

I think most people would agree that I am anything but flirtatious. My sexy body doesn't exactly have the women running (at least towards me) and I'm often much too shy to talk, much less flirt, with available ladies in my life. So, basically, my flirtation muscles haven't exactly had a workout in a while.

But, Ah HA!, the telephone rings! A pleasant sounding young lady greets me as Mr. Harris and asks if I'd be willing to spend a short while answering some questions for her regarding financial management and investments. I ask you now to try and imagine a more dry subject. I agree nonetheless and she proceeds with her questioning. By the third question she has clearly ceased her strict adherance to the script before her and we are laughing together about my ridiculously conservative investment habits and my ignorance in many areas of the industry due to my 'grandfathering' in plans through my parents. Of course I can remember very little of my witty banter now but I swear that I actually heard her giggle at one point. This congenial banter continued throughout the conversation. She reached the usual statistical questions but I would, once again, swear that there was more something more than statistical curiosity in her voice when we came to the questions about my age and marital status.

Ya, I could have imagined it all. Every person on her call list tonight might receive that same smile (I learned early on in life to tell if someone was smiling while talking on the phone), but I'm gonna sit here and savour the dream that I managed, with whatever wit and charm I could muster, to catch the eye (or ear as it may be) of a young lady somewhere here in Canada. A guy's gotta dream!

2006-10-22T00:46:00.000-06:00

[Please note that the following is political. I could talk at length about my desire to see discipleship in place in these situations, but that's just not what I've chosen to talk about here. Do not doubt my devotion to that goal]

"The question isn't 'how do we fix this?' The question is 'How can we help Africans to do this for themselves?'"

This is the tagline for a short talk given by a lady named Jacqueline Novogratz regarding her work in the provision of aid to Africa and other developing areas of the world. Her talk gave voice to concerns which had long been running within my head without the necessary structure to accurately and, more importantly, persuasively present them. But more importantly, she answered those questions, or at least set me on the path to answering them for myself.

I have always struggled with Africa. I'd like to think that I am known among my friends as a man of compassion and caring, but yet too often I not only skip over the "send money to this starving family" infomercials but, instead, actively think and speak against them. Cyler came back from watching Uganda Rising and was clearly moved, I was almost angry with him. Here is one more example of a manipulative film trying to get us to pour more resources and time in to that continent. One of the largest arguments of mine simply being "why should I give you money if you decided to bring 8 (8!!!) children in to the world when you already couldn't feed yourself." Don't even get me started on the AIDs epidemic, again with the "STOP HAVING SEX!" solution. It is a horrible attitude, the children are indeed starving and the need for help is obvious, but I had many many reservations holding me back. I spent many years as a fan of the darwinian school of thought, and though, thankfully, I now acknowledge the Almighty God and His place over everything, I do still carry with me some of the "realism" involved in darwinism. In this case in particular, if the needs of the population have grown beyond the production of the land (and/or trade/barter relationships within reasonable distances) then the population will be 'naturally' balanced by the reasonable reduction in offspring production combined with the dying off of the weaker members of the society who cannot withstand these conditions. Unfortunately, the site of an empty pantry apparently makes people randy and we've got just enough modern medicine over there to keep very unhealthy people alive much longer.

That is harsh, and from the comfort of my room it is all too easy to say, and I know I'd be saying different if I were looking in to the eyes of starving child in some sub-saharan country. But I honestly wonder what we are supposed to do.

The bible talks about the poor and encourages giving to them, but are we talking about the same poor? The crippled beggar, a province struck with a famine one season, a widow without family (crippled in a high-patriarchal society), these are the poor that we are told to help. In these terms, has Africa ever not been crippled? Has it ever actually had a good growing season? Has it ever actually had a husband? I don't know my history very well, maybe it was an absolutely perfect land before colonialism. Is it the pollution belching plants over here in the developed world that are causing global warming, expanding the deserts well beyond their original borders? Is it the implanted, high-catholic "every sperm is sacred" mentality which is actually at the root of the over-population? Is it the attempts to change them over from a barter-based economy to capitalism?

I don't know what the truth is, but, at the moment, all I see is a massive chunk of infertile land populated by a massive population of remarkably fertile people, apparently opposed to birth control. I struggle, politically, with the idea of endlessly pumping money in to this pit which, from what I've seen so far, doesn't have much hope of actually becoming self-sustaining.
Ever had a leech attach itself to you? I'm told that the desire to dispatch that creature in the most expedient manner is overwhelming. Africa is a plush leech, made soft and cuddly enough to help us forget the staggering resources that are flowing out of us, in to it.

So that was my attitude, chosen not for its apparent virtues (none) but simply because I couldn't see anything else. This speech by Ms. Novogratz clearly delineated a realistic approach for the support and, more importantly, the sustainable growth of Africa. A realistic alternative to the status quo, helping them become productive members of society or, at least, getting them the real help which they need, instead of just handing over spare change. A treatment of the root cause, instead of simply addressing the symptoms. This gives me hope, because I now actually see all of the developing countries as they truly are, brimming with possibility for growth, ready for a change in a positive direction. The change in my mind is remarkable, it is no longer a leech. A lion with a thorn in its paw. I can actually say that I am beginning to see the proud creature which Africa could be once it gets to its feet.

Just to further clarify, for those who now think I am a monster, what I had said in this post is representative of a mindset which has recently changed. The questions that I ask here still remain strong in my mind, but I've got a new dose of compassion , hope, and (arguably the most important) passion to see what I can actually do in this area.

Watch the video. I'd love to hear what you think.

Awesome Angry Duck

2006-10-15T15:41:00.000-06:00

It is rare that I let my TV sit on the Treehouse childrens network for longer than a second or two, but, by chance, I stumbled across this TV show which absolutely intrigued me. It is simply called Pocoyo (apparently it means "a little of me" in spanish, but it is rooted in the mispronunciation of a bedtime prayer by the daughter of one of the producers).

The animation is excellent, the characters are interesting and cute, but, most importantly, the duck is sarcastic! Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Fussy Duck

The Big Sneeze

I like my car

2006-10-14T15:24:00.000-06:00

For those who have not driven with me in my car, we need to go do on a road trip or something. Mostly because if you haven't ridden in my car, we obviously haven't been hanging out enough. But if you needed more of a reason, maybe an awesome video will convince you.

The list

2006-10-14T13:19:00.000-06:00

Most people have a list of what they hope for in their future spouse. I've found issues with this method in the past, especially with the heartache and limitations it places on relationships which are clearly from God but yet don't fit this man-made mold. But there is one list which I love and keep close to my heart as I wait. It was provided by (at least try and look surprised) C.S. Lewis.

My Dear Wormwood.
So!

Your man is in love - and in the worst kind he could possily have fallen into- and with a girl who does not even appear in the report you sent me...

I have looked up this girls dossier, and am horrified at what I find. Not only a Christian, but such a Christian - a vile, sneaking, simpering, demure, monosyllabic, mouselike, watery, insignificant, virginal, bread and butter miss!

The little brute!

She makes me vomit. She stinks and scalds through the very pages of the dossier.

I've always believed that, apart from God, the ones who know us best are our enemies. They see us without rose coloured glasses, they aren't forgiving, and they don't pull any punches. Here is a list written as if by a demon, encompassing exactly what I hope for in a woman. I hope that she does truly stink and scald through the dossiers of hell.