The day

To wax poetic on St. Valentine's eve is not a rare thing for me;
But for the first time, in a great many years, it is not done bitterly.
What curses, under bated breath, I would utter against those in love,
for, clearly, I did not know love as they did; unrequited, my feelings, thereof.

There was going to be more there, but I guess my ability to "wax poetic" has waned over the years. Probably for the best anyway, I was never much of a poet.
But it is crucial to note that whatever bitterness I felt towards Valentine's day, and the desirable state of the heart demonstrated therein, has dissipated. Not fully, I must admit, but I will make it through the day without the usual rants.

Yes, it is too commercialized.
Yes, the sentiments expressed on that day should not limited to that day.
And yes, I cannot deny a bit of "if everyone is special, no one is" bitterness towards the enforced pageantry of elementary school V-Days.

But it remains a day where I can see the love around me through a slightly clearer lens. The marriage of my parents, a growing number of my friends, and that small portion of our society with truly healthy relationships, can be noticed and appreciated. I am a romantic. I look at the marriage of Nathan and Lauren (or the newly minted Trevor and Melissa engagement) and I am happy, dare I say joyous, for what they have. What is my role in there lives if not to celebrate what God has given them?

And ya, I'm alone. I do not have a lady to romance. Yes, I desire that relationship. Oh how I desire it! But it clearly isn't time, so that's OK. It is one more year to faithfully wait, one more year to dream, and one more year to plan an ever-more elaborate wooing of that lady I hope to meet.


And I hope she'll like cards like this (and is willing to watch the occasional Star Trek/Wars movie):

In my backyard

Chickadees, sparrows, house finches, nuthatches, wood peckers, magpies, pigeons, blue jays, and squirrels. My father is the faithful servant of them all.

Our bird feeder is a hub of activity in our backyard, and a constant source of entertainment for my bird-watching family.

Figured I'd share the view with you.

Enjoy

http://www.shorterthanjesus.com/gallery/birdfeeder/

Misinterpretation

I was out for dinner last night with some very good friends. Knowing that I would be waiting alone in the lobby for an extended period of time, I had brought a book to read. "Toasts & Tributes," of the Gentlemanners series, was the book which I happened to choose. When my friends arrived and noticed my book, we found ourselves laughing at the often ridiculous demands placed on a "gentleman." I believe their reaction was best summed up in Cyler's response to the idea of a hand-written invitation to a 'jacket and tie' evening of cocktails and hors d'œuvre: "If you ever send me an invitation like that, I'll kick you in the groin."

Back when a gentleman was the norm and the oaf was an oddity, most of the prescribed 'gentlemanly' behaviours would not be have seemed out of place. But in today's world where the oafish is considered standard (ride the bus for 15 minutes and tell me I'm wrong), even the simplest gentlemanly behaviour stands out. I'm not saying that Cyler's response was wrong (or oafish, in the context of this paragraph). An invitation like that is unheard of in our culture, especially among people of our age. But I fear for our society when a similar disgust or confusion is felt when even the basic principles of gentlemanly courtesy are demonstrated.

I worry about misinterpretation.

In a society where this behaviour is rare, are gentlemanly respect and attention easily misinterpreted as signs of romantic feelings?

I desire the chivalrous lifestyle, I can't imagine a better behaviour model to complement a Godly lifestyle (my other goal in life). I want every woman in my life to feel respected, honored, supported, and special. But can I, in this day and age, behave in this way without giving the impression that I've got a crush on each and every one of them? Were I handsome and charming, it might not be an issue, they might be quite flattered by such a misinterpreted crush. But I fear that, reality being what it is, I'll have every lady in my life avoiding me because she doesn't want to confront me about the feelings she assumes I have for her. Women rarely seem to be kind enough to give an outright rejection (interesting). This hurts when the crush is real, but in this case I just fear that I'll be left with a friendship crippled by her avoidance of feelings which she wrongly supposes I have for her.

I may be completely wrong here. I openly acknowledge the dangerous amount of extrapolation involved in this thought process.

Simply, I am a gentleman (working on it) and not a flirt. I want every woman to feel honored by my behaviour towards her. I don't want her to think that I have a crush on her when I don't. Their lives, and my life, are better off without such complications (I've yet to meet anyone who likes rejecting or being rejected).

How do I make this work? I haven't the faintest idea.
Maybe it really isn't a problem at all.

--Excerpts that I liked from previous versions of this post--

"A gentleman might very easily be categorized as a flirt. A pulled chair, held door, and timely compliment simply take the places of the whistle, cat call, and pick-up line."

"I am blessed to have a group of friends made up of ladylike ladies and gentlemanly gentlemen. No, we don't take it to the degree of pomp and circumstance demarcated by "the books" but we do behave in a manner that is usually a step above a good portion of our peers. In our group, to act like a gentleman is not an odd thing and, thankfully, this means that our attempts at gentlemanly behaviour are not confused as anything more than what they are."