Big nose

And I, meseems, had Nature been more kind,
More careful, when she fashioned me,—had been
One of those men who well could speak their love!...
Oh! We have our pockets full,
We poets, of love-letters, writ to Chloes,
Daphnes—creations of our noddle-heads.
Our lady-loves,—phantasms of our brains,
—Dream-fancies blown into soap-bubbles! Come!
Take it, and change feigned love-words into true;
I breathed my sighs and moans haphazard-wise;
Call all these wandering love-birds home to nest.
You'll see that I was in these lettered lines,
—Eloquent all the more, the less sincere!
—Take it, and make an end!


Reading through Cyrano de Bergerac, considering a career in romantic ghost-writing, haha.

I was talking with my friend, Faith, and she weighed on on the topic of guy’s behaviour towards women, and the underlying topic of women’s clothing. Having managed to escape the bottomless pit of blogging, she asked that I, instead, just post this up in response.

Jonathan, thank you for giving women a man’s view into clothing and lust. I admire the fact that you flee from lustful thoughts; that is truly a rare trait to find in a man today. I believe that both men and women can work together to allow the other to fight the battle of lust. It is my goal to pass on what the Bible, and the book “Every Young Women’s Battle”, has to say about modesty. I hope and pray that the godly womanly perspective I am sharing can be clear, effective, and will result in greater degrees of modesty.

We have all heard the saying, “don’t judge a book by its cover” and I believe that this saying can be applied to interactions with men and women. When one sees a book with a plain cover, it is our natural tendency to pay little to no attention to it. Where as, if one sees a book with flashy print and exciting colors, they give their entire attention to it, or at least until something better comes out. Although this is an innocent example, it can be applied to how men view women. I believe that a woman should dress attractively. That can include summer dresses as Amy pointed out, but with care that it does not leave a man lost in the outside appearance, not wanting to see what is inside.

The way a women dresses, is the way she will be treated. Men are very visual beings and women feel that, to catch a guy’s attention, they must dress in a way where the men long to see more. Godly men long to find women who will dress modestly out of respect for God and them. If a woman wants to be respected and sought after, she must learn to be a woman of sexual integrity. God’s word tells us to strive to be more like Christ, and that may mean dressing differently than this sex craved society.

Both men and women should strive to dress and act the way they want to be treated, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. If men refuse to feed into women’s desire for attention, women will in turn dress more modestly. But, we should not wait for men to change, rather we as women should search the Bible for guidance. Below is an excerpt from “Every Young Women’s Battle” which can help us evaluate/assess our motives in a particular outfit we desire to wear.

“Searching The Scriptures For Guidance”

Scripture is specific about what we should wear, but not on how we should dress. Below are some examples:

Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immortality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature. ( Romans 13:13-14)

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience…And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12,14)

All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another because “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” ( 1 Peter 5:5)

Although, you should not wear revealing clothes the scripture clearly says to clothe oneself with the above virtues.

How to assess the clothes I have or want to buy:

Blouses and Tops:

• If your blouse buttons up, is it so tight that someone sitting beside you might get a glimpse though the gaps between the buttons as you move around?
• If someone is standing over you or if you are bending over, could that person get an eyeful of cleavage?
• Are any of your tops so sheer that others can see the lace on your bra?
• Do any of your sleeveless shirts or tank tops reveal your bra straps or require that you not wear a bra?
• Do your shirts reveal any part of your abdomen or back if you do the “hallelujah test” (lift your hands above your head)?
• Do any of your shirts have sexually suggestive slogans (such as sexy or flirt)?

Jeans and Pants:

• Are any of your jeans so tight that someone could read the date on the dime in your pocket?
• Do you have to lie down on the bead and suck in your stomach to zip up any of your pants?
• Do any of your jeans ride your hips so low that your underwear can be seen from the back?
• Do you own any pants that have lettering or graphics across the seat to draw attention to your rear view?

Skirts/dresses and shorts:

• Do your skirts or shorts come above your thumbnail when your arms are at your side?
• Back up to a full-length mirror and then bend over to touch your toes. Are your private parts or panties on display in this position?
• Do any of your skirts ride excessively high above the knee when you are seated?
• When you are wearing a particular skirt, could someone sitting or standing in front of you catch a glimpse of your panties or upper thighs if you fail to keep your legs crossed?
• Regardless of the length of your skirts, do any have slits up the front, back, or side that could draw a guy’s eye too far up your legs?

Undergarments:

• If you choose to wear thong underwear, does the waistband show when you squat down or bend over?
• Do you have bras that you like to wear because you know the pretty straps will show when you wear certain tops.

Here is some additional scripture that applies to what virtues women should strive for:

• Proverbs 31


• Psalm 103


• Romans 13:14


• Matthew 22:39

In conclusion, a woman should honestly ask herself why she is wearing a particular outfit. Is she trying to catch the attention of a guy? If so, is she doing it in a godly manner? All men are visually sensitive to the appearance of women, but women should not take this as an excuse to wear clothes that are not honoring to God or their brothers in Christ.

Some guys

I read a book a while back, "Every Man's Battle" by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. It is an excellent book, and many of its ideas and stories have stuck with me.

Driving home today, I found myself behind a big ugly pick-up truck (classic Calgary redneck-mobile), driven by just the kind of guy you would normally expect behind the wheel of such a vehicle. He didn't seem like a particularly bad driver, not that I saw him do any particularly advance maneuvers on the road anyway, but there was one moment which scared me thoroughly. We were driving along when, up about two blocks, I noticed two young ladies walking along the sidewalk, against the flow of traffic. One's gait can speak volumes about one's personality; from two blocks away, you could tell that these two KNEW that they were beautiful. As we got closer, it became apparent that their clothing was the unfortunately common summer-combination of short-shorts and low-cut/high-cut halter tops (amazing how shirts seem to be always losing fabric from both the top and the bottom).

You've heard my rants before about women's clothing, I won't bore you with that again. Quite simply, I knew that there was no way I would be able to respectfully admire these ladies as I drove past, so I chose to look away, giving some extra attention to the road, my dash, and the vehicles around me. That's not a big thing for me, I do it all the time, I know the weaknesses of my mind.

What scared me [watch as Jonny finally gets to the point] was the behaviour of the guy in the truck in front of me. I watched his head as we neared and passed the ladies. He was locked on, entirely focused. It wasn't a glance through peripheral vision (I wouldn't have seen that), it was a full out head turn. I watched as his head tracked to follow these ladies as they went from a 2 o'clock through to a 5 o'clock position in relation to his vehicle. I watched as he literally turned around to look out his back window to continue 'checking them out'. If only drivers put this much effort in to their shoulder checks, our roads would be considerably safer.


So what does this have to do with the book? One of the big stories in the book is that of one of the authors (I think) driving his fairly nice sports car along the road, locking his eyes on to a not-very-well-restrained set of breasts attached to a jogger on the sidewalk. In his enjoyment of the 'scenery' he failed to notice that traffic had stopped, and he plowed in to the vehicle in front of him.

I don't want "bird watching" to be the answer when the police ask me what I was doing when I crash in to that car in front of me.

Should I ever be married, I want to be able to go for a walk with my wife and give intelligent answers to "were you just looking at that woman?". I'll say "Yes, I was. Did you notice how her blouse clashed with her skirt, it would have looked so much nicer if she had balanced it like you did with your outfit. You look stunning in that!"

And lastly, should God ever see fit to ask me "Did you look at that woman lustfully?" (even though He knows the answer already), I want to be able to say, without the least fear of being smote for lying, that I did not.


All that to say, I hate how some of my fellow men can be so damned stupid. That guy was so distracted, he very easily could have driven right up and over the little car in front of him.

Buttons

Thinking of a title for my last post brought up something else I wanted to share.
Buttons, the pin type.

The town of Banff is in the middle of a massive 'refreshing' project to update and repair their municipal infrastructure. This is normally a fairly bland topic and could have resulted in bitterness among residents and visitors due to the inconvenience that they encounter. This doesn't seem to be the case though. In fact, the town did such a good job with their education/planning/appeasement that all who experience the 'refreshing' are quite happy. This could have been a "lipstick on a pig" situation, but some good planning ensured that the project wasn't a pig, and thus the lipstick was mostly unnecessary and actually appreciated by those around.

What am I yammering about? My new source of inspiration.
The Squirrels & The Buttons

A news article, covering Banff's 'refreshing', mentioned something which I found fascinating: people are stealing the squirrel signs that explain the project. These designers (whoever Banff had working on this) created road/safety/construction signs that people want enough to warrant stealing them.

I want people to want my creations to the point of theft!
It is now my goal to create something, at some point in my life, that people will like enough to steal it.


My sister was kind enough to bring back all five buttons for me; They now adorn my camera bag as a constant reminder of my goal.

Buttons

Everyone has their pet peeves. Other people do certain things which just drive us batty. Sometimes they really are that much of an annoyance or inconvenience... but not often.

For me, I find, often through unfortunately-delayed introspection, that most of my pet peeves are based on the things that I hate within myself. I cannot stand bad whistling, which I assume is due to the inability of my own lips to form the notes which I imagine in my mind. I cringe when I see people digging digging their own intellectual/social graves with various small but ultimately damaging behaviours. Rarely does my annoyance/anger at their behaviour equal anywhere near the total amount that I am bothered, simply because I can see in them, that which I so often see, and hate, in myself. Too many eyes have glazed over while I spoke; Too many have been driven away by a ramble or rant on a topic that really needed not much more than a sentence or two; And too many feelings have been hurt by unnecessary, and usually incorrect, statements of my own opinion as fact.

I hate watching others make the same mistakes as me; But, as always, everything is easier to see and understand from an outside perspective. I don't see my mistakes until after I've made them.


I am somewhat comforted by this idea though; It, as with most observations of our very human state, is easily scaled up to the universal/spiritual level.
C.S. Lewis was the first and last person to ever explain eternity to me in a way that made sense and didn't trivialize who God is or what He did/does/will-do (three words and three tenses that, in his description, become meaningless). Though I'll never do it justice in a quote (go read Mere Christianity), the key idea is that God views time from outside the timeline. He sees the beginning, the end, and everything in between. One can't say "God knows what will happen" as if God were at our point and is simply looking ahead; Instead, God sees everything that happens and the linear progression is a triviality, but of course this is hard to express with all of our time-based descriptions. I play, I love, I sin, I choose, I fall, I grow, I swim, I eat, I draw, I read... If you're anything like me, these fragments are uncomfortable because they lack the linear time context that we are so used to.

As friends, we have the unique privilege to experience the 'lite' version of God's view. We know what our friends have done, we can see what they're doing (and know them well enough to know why), and we can usually see what's up ahead much more accurately than they ever could. But that still holds to linearity, and I think is impossible for us to view the situation in anything beyond this. God sees, as a whole, everything that our life encompasses. I don't think we can reach that point, but at least we can be used as an outside viewer to help our friends with the choices that they make. Unfortunately it is tough, if not impossible, to look inwardly with the same scope; I think this is why I/we have pet peeves. We see friends making the same mistakes but yet not being able to see or understand what they are actually doing. I suppose that God feels the same way (but without the associated guilt of making all of the same mistakes first, of course) as He watches us do all of the stupid things we do. If we would just listen, He would have told us that it wasn't a good idea. He may have even told us why, though, as the Almighty, He does have he distinct advantage of not having to justify everything that He says or does ("because I said so" is a valid answer for the Omniscient/Omnipresent/Omnipotent).

[Note: This was a mind dump. At some points I felt that I had something going, but I have a feeling that the train-of-thought went off the tracks (off the trestle, in to the gorge, and in to a smoking heap of its own wreckage)]