Grandpa

For those who haven't spoken with me since, I made it home safely after a long but enjoyable trip.

Unfortunately, as of November 4th, I find myself in Ottawa again, but under less than happy circumstances. After a battle with pneumonia and the long goodbye of alzheimers, I've lost my maternal grandpa.

I was here for his 85th birthday back at the beginning of October. He was struggling with fluid on the lungs and an ever detiorating short-term memory and the talk amongst the family, though I so desired it not to be true, was that he was not long for this world. Unfortunately, their predictions were true and less than two weeks later he was in hospital for the last time, finally passing away on October 30th.

I've just returned to my Aunt and Uncle's house from the wake. I could paint the day as one of sadness and mourning but that would be untrue. It was wonderful to spend time with my family and their friends, talking about everything that my grandpa had been to them.

He was an amazing man.

He fought in Burma, flying in C-47 Dakotas that would weave their way through valleys between mountains to resupply troups behind the Japanese lines. He told me stories about sitting at the cargo door, calling out distances to the pilot, letting him know how many feet he had between the wingtip and the valley wall. He told me stories of almost falling to his death as a load shifted, knocking him out of the cargo door, leaving him to hang by a cargo strap as the Dak made its knife-edge turn at the end of a valley. And, most recently, he's told me stories about his job during the Cold War, working on the DEW line for NORAD. These stories are most recent simply because they were classified until many years later.

But he's not just one of those "war stories" grandpas. He was a father to three, a grandpa to give, and a great grandfather, as of October 3rd, to one, my little cousin Parker. He loved us all dearly, as he did his wife of 64 years (who he teased endlessly, but always with the deepest look of love in his eyes). Us grandchildren remember the man who would faithfully clean and maintain a backyard pool for us, the man who would let us crawl all over him and use him as a play structure, and the man who would tell us stories, sing us songs, and spoil us rotten (I'm told that, after finishing an ice cream cone that certainly wouldn't have been purchased my the responsible parents, I pull him over to me and said "You're a good guy, Grandpa"). He was as sharp as a tack up until the last few years, introducing me to writers like C.S. Lewis and Tolkien while engaging me in long debates and lessons about all things theological and moral.

Needless to say, he is dearly missed.

These are two of my favourite photos of him. I don't know the timing or details of the first, but it gives an excellent glimpse in to his character. The latter is a photo that I took when I was out here in October, possibly one of the last photos taken of him, showing him with his new great-grandchild. He loved that little baby.



I can't see well through the tears at the moment so I'll end it here.
If you were at all interested, this slideshow that my cousin Christopher and I put together for today's wake and tomorrow's.

On the road again

For those who weren't aware, as of August 21st (tomorrow) I will be taking approximately seven weeks to drive to and from PEI with stops in Ottawa along the way.

It is a vacation.
And it is a job-hunting excursion.
But above all, it is an experience that I want/need to have.

Calgary > Regina > Winnipeg > Thunder Bay > Sault Ste. Marie > Tobermory > Stratford > Toronto > Ottawa > Quebec City > Grand Falls > Halifax (maybe) > Brackley (just north of Charlottetown)

For all of the stories, photos, and fun (e.g. name the variety of wheat in every photo that I take as I cross Saskatchewan), please visit my travel blog at http://brackley2bytown.blogspot.com/

I'll update it where possible with whatever I find interesting. Until then, please feel free to enjoy the existing entries on the blog: ramblings of last year's adventure on the island.

Getting Started

Do you know any new, studying, or struggling:
Actors/Actresses,
Dancers,
Singers,
Bands,
Models,
Makeup artists,
Hair stylists, or
Generally outgoing people who are willing to be photographed?

I am begging, pleading, and calling in any favors that you feel that you might owe me... Please introduce me to them!

I want to develop a photography portfolio that will underpin the development of what I hope will be a thriving photographic business in the years to come. Being a struggling artist in this regard, I'm willing to offer Time-for-CD (we both work for free, we both get photos for our portfolios) to any students, recent-graduates, and genuinely struggling artists in those categories that you are willing to introduce to me.

I'll be driving across Canada in August, September, and October so if you know anyone along that route, keep them in mind as well.

If you need my contact info, toss a request in to a comment and I'll send it over.


On the business side:
Of course, I'm also available to do portraits, headshots, promotional materials, weddings, and general event photography if you like my work and want to recommend me to someone that you know. My prices are affordable, my schedule is flexible, and I'm told that I'm quite pleasant to work with.


Thank You Thank You Thank You

Come Fly/Drive With Me

I've heard whispers of interest from some of you about the prospect of possibly joining me on the island in September (rough dates around 5th-19th). I figured I would open up the invitation to all of you to fly out for all or some of that period.

The water is warm (60-70, only feels cold when you're getting in) and the weather is often nicer in September than it is in the summer.

The place where I'm staying has hotel rooms from between $39 and $59 a night (hooray for off-season). Most can hold 4-6 people, you do the math. Hot tub on site, drive-in theatre on the same property, five minute drive to the beach.

A round-trip plane ticket from Calgary to Charlottetown is about $950 (plus tax and fees). Could be cheaper if you fly out in an easterly direction and I pick you up somewhere along the way.

Food will be reasonably cheap as most of the rooms have kitchens and I'm planning to cook for myself on ~$10/day (apart from lobster dinner days). If people join me, I'll cook for you too.

Gas should be reasonably cheap as I will have my car out there (I am still driving all the way out there and back). If more than four of you come (that's a full car), it shouldn't be too expensive to split a rental car between yourselves.


Give some thought to it. Let me know if you're at all interested.
You will not be disappointed!

Where's your 10%?

I'd like to offer up some thoughts on tithing.

I'm not good with church. I've been to five churches in my lifetime and I've never been truly comfortable at any of them. I know that I am not alone in feeling this way. Something may be awry in the churches that I've been too; But I'll lay down my money (quite literally) on the assumption that the problem is within me.

I don't think anyone will ever be perfectly happy with their church. You will always be bothered by some small piece of doctrine, an off-key singer, the number of times you have to stand-up in the service, or whether the deer pants or panteths for the water. If you view tithing as a tax, paid to the church out of a sense of guilt or duty, you will likely struggle with giving. Why would you want to give your money to a church that does ______ wrong?

Let me offer an alternative viewpoint: It's not your money.
You have a job that could have been given to someone else.
You have your health when it could so easily fail.
You have a gifting in certain areas, without which you would certainly fail.

God gave you the opportunity, the freedom, and the capability to work and earn money to support you and those whom you love. The money was given to you. Tithing is an acknowledgement of this

God has explicitly asked for 10% of my income to be given back as an offering of trust and thanksgiving. Even in those moments when I have felt completely disenfranchised with the church in general, I continued to enter my pay-cheque in to my budget sheets at 90% of its face value. On those occasion where I haven't darkened the doorway to a church in months, I would have a growing tally in my cheque-book for the amount that I owed upon my return or move.

As I see it, the key to tithing is that you no longer have that 10%. It is an act of thanks for what He has provided, and an act of trust that He will continue to provide. My priority is that the money goes to do some good in this world. Whether my money keeps Kraft Dinner in my pastor's pantry, pays for a room at a local woman's shelter, or feeds a family in the third-world, the money has to leave my coffers and help someone else.

I can't help but comment on what I see as the miraculous nature of tithing. I've seen countless examples of people whose tithing knocked just enough money out of their wallet to put them at risk of going without food, gas, power, etc.. They still tithed, taking that leap of faith that their needs would be provided for. In many cases, even before any plea had gone out to family, friends, or a congregation, a perfectly-measured gift arrived just in time to cover the need. The thing is, even if they had gone hungry, I know that these people would have been happy to do so. I tithe when it is easy and I tithe when it is hard and I will continue to do so through whatever I may encounter in life.

Even if you want nothing to do with God, there's something to be said for the act of self-sacrifice. It really helps focus the mind on something beyond your daily life. I honestly think that everyone should "tithe" as it can be a life changing experience both for you and for others.

Some news (illustrated by Peanuts!)

I have two choices to describe my current situation:

Option 1



Option 2



I was going to walk in to the office on May 21, write up a nice, succinct, and, what I thought would be, extremely-satisfying letter detailing my intent to resign as of June 13. This was the keystone of my Canadian adventure! The landmark nature of my trip would be elevated and amplified by the freedom from a job that, up until two weeks ago anyway, was really irking me.

Despite being on vacation, I was checking my email inbox at work on a fairly regular basis. This is how I came to the realization, in the middle of a board-game with my cousins no less, that one of my coworkers was leaving. I sighed a sigh of relief when I saw that it wasn't my boss (a most excellent boss). I let loose an anguished "argh!" when I saw that it wasn't my former boss. This left an accepting and understanding nod for my remaining coworker who, as of this past Friday, has left the company.


Here's the kicker: I am very good at feeling guilty.

With a department of four (3+me), my departure would be an inconvenient but survivable bump in their road.

With a department of three (2+me), my departure would definitely be more than a slight inconvenience. I'm neither vain nor proud, at least not to any worrisome degree; I am simply realistic. My boss is extremely competent and capable. My former boss, the only remaining non-managerial member of the group (assuming my absence), often appears to be neither.

I would not feel right leaving my boss to fight alone.


Where does that leave me?
I will not be departing in late June. I'm going to hang around and do what I can to help my boss move the department forward. My hope is to make the trip this fall, either with the company's blessing (leave of absence) or on my own timeline (resignation).

We'll see where it goes. To be honest, I'm not all that disappointed about the delay. I find that surprising, but the overwhelming peace would suggest that there is some Godly guidance here that may have been missing from my previous plans. Here's hoping (and praying) that my plans for the fall are successful.

I'm going to PEI!

I've booked my hotel!
From June 29 to July 17, I will be staying at the Brackley Country Inn. This is an awesome little place that just so happens to sit right beside the Brackley drive-in theatre! Check out the satellite map here.

I will spend my time on the island doing a mix of tourism and pavement-pounding. By the end of my stay, I hope to have met with every interested, possibly-relevant, business owner in the greater Charlottetown area (and possibly beyond).

My very rough "people to call" list looks like this:

Federal government
Provincial government
Municipal government
Tourism associations
Universities and colleges
Museums
Real estate
Airport & airlines)
Musicians (albums, studios, venues)
Charlottetown civic centre
Arts district
Restaurants
Breweries
Property management groups
Construction

If I'm missing anything, let me know.



Then there is the 10,000km round-trip road-trip that encompasses my time on the island. I will be driving across Canada on my own. All told, we're talking about 30+ days away from everyone that I know and love. Words cannot express how excited and terrified I am.

As I see it, this is a perfect opportunity to commune with God. It also is a perfect opportunity for me to get out there and actually gain some people-skills.

Can you imagine me with the confidence to approach, talk to, and get to know complete strangers?
Neither can I... haha

This could be one of the greatest opportunities for change that I have ever had.

Find a job, move to PEI, shovel 10' of snow... big steps.
Approach someone that I don't know and try to make a friend... giant leap.


If you are in the habit of conversing with the Almighty, please keep me in your prayers.

Another photo

A good day in the office is a day out of the office...
Nothing like a mandated trip to Lake Louise to ease some stress. And, I must admit, I was only slightly disappointed when the organizers experienced some delays and I had to wait around for an hour or so longer than expected. I spent my hour walking and photographing the grounds of the Chateau Lake Louise.

Some lighting experiments

I haven't posted photos for a while.
I'm sure these won't be particularly interesting to most of you, but I'm rather proud of them.
All of them are unedited and were taken in the three-minute and forty-second long periods between pressing "Record" and "Stop" for my buddy Greg as he recorded his demo CD.

Two flashes. One on-camera, bouncing off ceiling behind me. One behind the board, hitting the wall.


Two flashes. One on-camera pointed directly at the glasses. One directly behind the flashes, bouncing off of the wall. Going for a purposefully soft/pastel look.


Two flashes. One on-camera pointed directly at the glasses. One directly behind the flashes, bouncing off of the wall. Also going for a purposefully soft/pastel look.


One hand-held flash. Fired four times during an eight-second exposure. One above the cup, one on the front of the cup, one from each side.


One hand-held flash. Fired four times during an eight-second exposure. One above the cup, one on the front of the cup, one from each side.

PEI Again?

I want to move to Charlottetown.
I need a job in order to move to Charlottetown.
I need to pound the pavement in Charlottetown to find a job.
I need a place to stay in Charlottetown while I pound the pavement.
There is no guarantee of a job.
All I have are my savings.
I won't have money coming in.
Those savings won't last long.
I can only stay for a short while.
All of the apartments want one-year leases.
All of the short-term rentals are expensive tourist destinations.
A much shorter stay in a hotel?
Problem solved!


So I'm planning a road-trip!

We're talking about a grueling, 10,000km (round-trip), middle of the summer (eww), month-long adventure across this great country of ours.

Calgary > Regina > Winnipeg > Thunder Bay > Sault Ste. Marie > Ottawa > Bangor (Maine) > Charlottetown.

Two weeks in Charlotte's town should be just enough time to reach out to a pre-determined list of potential employers and, hopefully, spend a bit of time touring the island that I love.

Then comes, what will undoubtedly be, a very tough drive back. I don't look forward to the first three days, fighting the urge to turn the car around at every U-turn opportunity that I see.




Lets see how long it takes for this plan to derail.

Hahahahaha

Plan A: Fail
Plan B: Fail
Plan C: EPIC FAIL!

There are some furnished apartments in Charlottetown... for $3000 a month!

I figured that a "furnished apartment" simply meant adding a ratty old couch and a 12-channel TV to the apartment and adding the heat and phone costs to the rent. WRONG!

"Furnished apartment" = "vacation destination".

At what point should I call it quits on the comedy of errors? Wouldn't a booming "NO!" from the sky have been easier than the complete and utter collapse of every idea I come up with?



Just as a side note: Every property manager in Charlottetown is named Wayne. It's actually a bit weird. I sent out a bunch of emails to various companies asking about their properties; Every response (phone or email) has been from a gentleman named Wayne (each with a different last name though).
[Edit: It seems that there is also one lady named Harma. She ruined my visions of a secret counsel of Waynes.]

PEI - On to Plan C!

Plan A: Find a job online, move out there, live happily ever after.
Status: Failed (Islanders don't know how to use the internet)

Plan B: Save up a pile of cash, move out there for a year or so, and work my way up through dish-washing jobs.
Status: Failed (broke by month 8)

Plan C: Rent a furnished apartment for three months. 50% tourist, 50% job seeker.
Status: On a knife's edge (not a lot of furnished apartments)

We'll see where this goes.
The one vs. two bedroom debate is still open though.

So, I've been giving PEI more thought.

I think I may just head out there and rent an apartment for a few months to get a feel for whether this really is the place for me.

The big question is how large a place would I need. Would anyone truthfully be interested in hitting the island while I was there? If not, I'll cram myself in to a one bedroom and save the cash.

Wouldn't be heading out until at least June as there is too much already planned. What happens between now and then will decide whether this dream goes anywhere.

Madness begotten

I had a conversation with my daughter tonight...

No, I've not been keeping secrets. I remain single and lonely.
My mind is constantly running through all of the various permutations of events in the past, present, and future. I know just what I should have said to the bullies in my past; I have thought through countless ideas for the wooing of, and the eventual proposal to a woman (I'm quite debonair and charming in my imagination); and tonight, in one of the rarer moments of this madness, I had a conversation with a child. My child.

I don't know whether I'll ever be married; I don't know whether I'll ever be a father; And, of course, I don't know whether any of those possible children be a girl. All I know is that those few moments tonight were extremely happy moments.

It was a basic encouraging parental speech. I told her that she was special and to never lose sight of that fact. I explained humility to her, reminding her to consider those around her before herself. And I seemed to try to offer some advice on dealing with those who seem hell-bent on bringing her down. It started off with the tone and vocabulary that one might use when speaking with a young child. It then seemed to progress to an assumed knowledge of reasoned-morality and a common vocabulary suitable for an older child. That's it. That's all. It was a simple Dad moment.

What triggered this? I have no idea.
How long was I working aimlessly with a blank look in my face?

Yes, this is odd. I'm odd.
No friend of mine should be surprised at the depths of my madness anymore.

I don't know what to take from it. Maybe there is nothing to be taken from it. Either way, I thought I'd just share a momentary glance in to those moments when I kind of zone out. I am thinking at those moments; And rarely am I thinking about something light or inconsequential. You are friends with a dreamer, a mad-man musing on times, worlds, and realities beyond this that we know.
Will I ever be "Daddy"?

Lessons one can learn from Facebook

_____ is in a relationship
_____ is single
_____ is in a relationship
_____ is single
_____ is in a relationship
_____ is single
_____ is in a relationship
_____ is single
_____ is in a relationship
_____ is single
_____ is in a relationship
_____ is single
_____ is in a relationship


Maybe the problem wasn't your last sixteen boyfriends?



Your right to date has officially been revoked.

Mozart's Requiem

Anyone interested in going to see Alberta Ballet's interpretation of Mozart's Requiem with me?

I'm huge in Mason City!

Google Analytics is fun.
It gives an almost endless supply of interesting (yet useless) information.
For example, sources of new readers

Apparently I'm a hit among the students of Northern Iowa Area Community College? They make up more than one quarter of the visits to this site.

Mount Allison University in Sackville, New Brunswick ranks fairly high as well... Who do I know in Sackville?

Take a minute and leave a comment. I'd love to get to know these people who finds me so fascinating, haha.

[Edit: OK, two very devoted fans. Thank you Ally and Laura. Just for kicks, I think you should convince all of your friends to read; See if you can outnumber my Calgary readers. Don't worry, there aren't that many of them.]

Should your opinion matter to me?

It took eleven years of "Jonathan, you are an excellent writer" from teachers to build my confidence.
It took less than two months of my senior year to crush it.

It took four years of "Excellent work, Jonathan" from professors to rebuild my confidence.
It took less than a week in my new job to destroy it.

The grade twelve teacher was an angry, man-hating, feminist.
The boss, it turns out, was an idiot.
But does that make them wrong?

Draw for me a line in the sand that marks where the defense of one's gifts becomes pride. Whose opinions can I ignore? Who am I to judge the validity of opinions of others? By allowing myself to judge, do I doom myself to the pretentiousness that I see in so many writers, artists, and photographers.

Maybe someone just doesn't "get" my work, and thus their negative opinion of it really isn't valid. Or maybe my work really is crap and the positive remarks have been either patronizing or ignorant.


In yesterday's church service, we discussed the idea that each of us had been called to a certain role in life. I believe it, but that doesn't mean that I know how it's supposed to unfold for me. Am I gifted as a writer? Am I called to write for a purpose? What could that purpose possibly be?

Library

I do hope to move out on my own some day soon. Here's the problem: there is no way I could ever afford the kind of place I dream of.

I'm not looking for extravagance, but I can't deny wanting something a bit beyond the usual apartment.

Obviously, it needs to have a bedroom, living room, dining room, and kitchen; But I would love to have an office and library as well.

I would love to have a library like this:


If I find myself in a smaller place, I might try something like this:

The West Wing

Because forcing the DVDs on all of you hasn't worked so far, I figure I'll try and tempt you with a few choice clips.
Come watch West Wing with me!

If you are just going to watch one, "The Streets of Heaven..." is an absolute favorite of mine. It is a speech given by President Josiah Bartlett only hours after a deadly bombing at a university. It pulls a quote from the Oscars acceptance speech of Tom Hanks for his role in Philadelphia.

"The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQWxgnFc1fk&NR=1

"The tie"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyqzPu5pX6U&NR=1

"Galileo V"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TkzLnUNeVo

"Let Bartlet be Bartlet"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT0AP3Nqvuo

Part 1 "Mrs. Landingham chastises Bartlet"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EhBXAweuRE

Part 2 "Conversation with God"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FScv89J6rro

Part 3 "Will you be seeking re-election"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EgLiPvhV-Y

Lunar Eclipse - February 20, 2008

Someone: "What planet was it that passed in front of the moon tonight?"
Me: "Uh... Earth"

Did no one else learn basic astronomy in elementary school?

Anyway, it was beautiful.

Marriage

There are some who ought to marry, and some who ought not to.
The apostle Paul spoke very wisely about this.

The question in my mind is whether those who are not meant to marry are blessed with a lack of desire to do so. The alternative question is whether the desire for marriage is a sign that one should eventually achieve it.

Does God give us a heart suited to the life we are destined for? Or is it possible that one might receive a heart contrary to their destiny, a situation where one might have to fight all through life to do what they are called for.

Did Paul accept a life without marriage easily? Or was this a situation that God thrust upon him and he had to work hard to accept it?

I dunno.

No Cavendish for me

A resounding "Yes" would have been nice; But I cannot deny that the apologetic "No" from the Cavendish Tourism Association brings some peace as I had been getting rather anxious while waiting for a response.

Gotta love articles like this:
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/prince-edward-island/story/2008/01/30/power-out.html

Ya, there's a PEI theme in my last few posts. It's not intentional, I've just had not much else to talk about. I'm not as fanatical about the island as I sound on here. Still waiting for word from Cavendish, but I've resigned myself to waiting a bit longer as they may very well be in the dark.

The

In the (literally) immortal words of Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez (Highlander, never actually watched the movie):

"...there can be only one"

In Calgary, you can be fairly certain that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of other people with the very same job as you. In PEI, most jobs come with their very own "The". You're not A technical writer... You're THE technical writer.

This is great if you have a rare talent or skill, or were the first practitioner in the area. But this sucks if you are trying to get in.

The initial urge hit on December 30th. I started looking for jobs out there. It's now the 22nd of January and I have found ONE. There were a few false starts with the postings either disappearing or becoming more exclusive as time went on, but at this point I have actually applied for only one job. It's a great job (check out the description a few posts ago) but it means that this whole harebrained scheme of mine is resting on the shoulders of that one employer.

So ya, any definitive sounding language I've used over the past few weeks should be taken with a grain or two of salt. Yes, I still see myself in a little (or not so little) house on the island, but the variables of when and how remain to be seen.

At this point, I'm sure of only one thing. I want out of my job. My new boss is great, but I'm left babysitting my old boss who now shares a cubicle with me. I'm getting tired of waking up and not wanting to go to work. There has to be something out there that might actually excite me.

Where are you going, Jonny?

Obviously nothing is set in stone yet, but I figure I should offer some sort of explanation for my somewhat impulsive talk of an eastward move. This video says it pretty well (though it's not some "Anne of Green Gables" fanaticism that moves me, I had not touched those books before I went to the island). The island changes people.



I wrote this on my first night at the cottage this summer:

The sun sets earlier here, it is 8:40PM right now and it is well towards dusk. It was a cloudy day so the sunset is much more gradual through the overcast sky. The mood would be best described as soft, there is nothing harsh about what I am experiencing right now. There are many birds around; There songs seem different, they seem to carry further than they do at home, and with an inherent depth that seems to give an almost dream like quality to the sound. The faint scent of the sea is intoxicating in the cool evening air.

THAT is what calls to me. It's not like it was a one night thing, I'd have one of those moments almost every day


Only thing that worries me is this:

I like snow, and I'm sure it will be beautiful after, but I'm a wimp and I'm not sure whether I'd like to be sitting alone in a creaking home during a storm like that. I gotta hurry up and find me a wife that I can hold on to during those cold and dreary nights ("Baby it's cold outside" might actually have some meaning, unlike here in Calgary)

Portfolio

I'm in the process of updating my portfolio.
Check out the current photo set here:
http://jonharris.zenfolio.com/p890552588

I'd be glad for any comments and critiques. If there's something missing (those of you who know my work), or if there is something that ought not to be there, let me know.

Guidance

To whoever reads this blog, I would ask for your prayers.

What was a momentary whim has now become a semi-serious plan. Whether it is this job opportunity or another, I am seriously considering moving out to the island.

The idea of leaving the dangerous neighborhoods, traffic jams, and oil industry behind is very tempting right now. I crave the slower pace of life on the island. A province with a population 1/8th of Calgary.

I could afford to buy a house!
1300 square feet and an acre of land for under $120,000... I couldn't buy a shack for that here in Calgary.
But the question remains, could I live alone out there? Do I want to? Should I?
Could I stand the feeling of my family and friends being 5000km away? Could I handle the fact that it just isn't realistic for many of my friends to visit even occasionally? How often could I make it home to visit? Would I find a similarly loving group of friends and mentors out there?

I need some guidance from God as this adventure will be a waste of time and money if He isn't leading it. There are a number of obvious fleece - the job, a house, the funds - but I realize that the whole point behind the original fleece was that it was something out of the ordinary. I am praying that God will provide that unexpected fleece that will make this clear.


Please pray for me, that I might either be encouraged and pushed forward on this path, or find enough closed doors to accept the answer. If I'm to stay, I need an attitude adjustment to let help me appreciate this city and whatever job I am to do within it, because I'm certainly not enjoying either at the moment.