Glimpses of the dream

Once-in-a-while I see glimpses of the communal art dream. This time it was through Zack Arias, a photographer who has long been an inspiration for me. He and his church have recently started the Buckhead Photography Project; It sounds amazing.

Maybe I should start seriously looking at this again.

Growth Opportunities

It's been a depressing week. It's that odd kind of melancholy that refuses to associate with any easily identifiable (and fixable) circumstances. I have God, family, friends, and life, but yet I am, for lack of a suitable Jonny-size word, sad.

It strikes me as odd how strongly these feelings can hit. I try to live as a logical man, but this defies it all. I'm baffled.

How can I be comfortable with my bachelorhood one hour and so desperately lonely the next?
How can I be happy and fulfilled by my job one hour, and psyching up for a résumé rewrite the next.
How do I go from loving my friends to hating my friends (and back again) in a matter of minutes?

Am I fourteen again? Have I really not grown up?

I dunno. But it's also been a week of resolutions. Oddly enough, in the week most well known for the breaking of resolutions, I found myself wanting to make some changes. Not particularly new or creative resolutions, but refreshed nonetheless. It's time for a new man, once again.

My diet is changing and my activity level is increasing, both for the sake of my health and (who am I kidding) in the hope that I may, some day, be attractive enough that I will stop receiving the classically insincere "You're a great guy and any woman [other than me] would be lucky to have you" crap and actually catch an eye or two.

I'm going to stop trying. Instead, I'm going to do. I've spent years trying to appear intelligent, I think it's about time that I start being a bit more loose with the "I don't knows". I've tried and failed at being the perfect gentleman; It's time to stop musing about the rules, procedures, and theory and actually start living with respect for those around me.

It's time to get out of my own head. I am horrified when I look at my life and see how much time I've spent mulling over possibilities and thinking about what I should have done. I'm not known for quoting pop-culture, but I believe the "The Pineapple Incident" episode of How I Met Your Mother was actually my primary inspiration. Stop thinking, start doing! I'm not talking about an over-indulgence in alcohol and the ensuing madness, but something's gotta give as this shell is getting itchy.

Who I am just isn't working, it's time for a change.

Grandpa

For those who haven't spoken with me since, I made it home safely after a long but enjoyable trip.

Unfortunately, as of November 4th, I find myself in Ottawa again, but under less than happy circumstances. After a battle with pneumonia and the long goodbye of alzheimers, I've lost my maternal grandpa.

I was here for his 85th birthday back at the beginning of October. He was struggling with fluid on the lungs and an ever detiorating short-term memory and the talk amongst the family, though I so desired it not to be true, was that he was not long for this world. Unfortunately, their predictions were true and less than two weeks later he was in hospital for the last time, finally passing away on October 30th.

I've just returned to my Aunt and Uncle's house from the wake. I could paint the day as one of sadness and mourning but that would be untrue. It was wonderful to spend time with my family and their friends, talking about everything that my grandpa had been to them.

He was an amazing man.

He fought in Burma, flying in C-47 Dakotas that would weave their way through valleys between mountains to resupply troups behind the Japanese lines. He told me stories about sitting at the cargo door, calling out distances to the pilot, letting him know how many feet he had between the wingtip and the valley wall. He told me stories of almost falling to his death as a load shifted, knocking him out of the cargo door, leaving him to hang by a cargo strap as the Dak made its knife-edge turn at the end of a valley. And, most recently, he's told me stories about his job during the Cold War, working on the DEW line for NORAD. These stories are most recent simply because they were classified until many years later.

But he's not just one of those "war stories" grandpas. He was a father to three, a grandpa to give, and a great grandfather, as of October 3rd, to one, my little cousin Parker. He loved us all dearly, as he did his wife of 64 years (who he teased endlessly, but always with the deepest look of love in his eyes). Us grandchildren remember the man who would faithfully clean and maintain a backyard pool for us, the man who would let us crawl all over him and use him as a play structure, and the man who would tell us stories, sing us songs, and spoil us rotten (I'm told that, after finishing an ice cream cone that certainly wouldn't have been purchased my the responsible parents, I pull him over to me and said "You're a good guy, Grandpa"). He was as sharp as a tack up until the last few years, introducing me to writers like C.S. Lewis and Tolkien while engaging me in long debates and lessons about all things theological and moral.

Needless to say, he is dearly missed.

These are two of my favourite photos of him. I don't know the timing or details of the first, but it gives an excellent glimpse in to his character. The latter is a photo that I took when I was out here in October, possibly one of the last photos taken of him, showing him with his new great-grandchild. He loved that little baby.



I can't see well through the tears at the moment so I'll end it here.
If you were at all interested, this slideshow that my cousin Christopher and I put together for today's wake and tomorrow's.

On the road again

For those who weren't aware, as of August 21st (tomorrow) I will be taking approximately seven weeks to drive to and from PEI with stops in Ottawa along the way.

It is a vacation.
And it is a job-hunting excursion.
But above all, it is an experience that I want/need to have.

Calgary > Regina > Winnipeg > Thunder Bay > Sault Ste. Marie > Tobermory > Stratford > Toronto > Ottawa > Quebec City > Grand Falls > Halifax (maybe) > Brackley (just north of Charlottetown)

For all of the stories, photos, and fun (e.g. name the variety of wheat in every photo that I take as I cross Saskatchewan), please visit my travel blog at http://brackley2bytown.blogspot.com/

I'll update it where possible with whatever I find interesting. Until then, please feel free to enjoy the existing entries on the blog: ramblings of last year's adventure on the island.

Getting Started

Do you know any new, studying, or struggling:
Actors/Actresses,
Dancers,
Singers,
Bands,
Models,
Makeup artists,
Hair stylists, or
Generally outgoing people who are willing to be photographed?

I am begging, pleading, and calling in any favors that you feel that you might owe me... Please introduce me to them!

I want to develop a photography portfolio that will underpin the development of what I hope will be a thriving photographic business in the years to come. Being a struggling artist in this regard, I'm willing to offer Time-for-CD (we both work for free, we both get photos for our portfolios) to any students, recent-graduates, and genuinely struggling artists in those categories that you are willing to introduce to me.

I'll be driving across Canada in August, September, and October so if you know anyone along that route, keep them in mind as well.

If you need my contact info, toss a request in to a comment and I'll send it over.


On the business side:
Of course, I'm also available to do portraits, headshots, promotional materials, weddings, and general event photography if you like my work and want to recommend me to someone that you know. My prices are affordable, my schedule is flexible, and I'm told that I'm quite pleasant to work with.


Thank You Thank You Thank You