I read a book a while back, "Every Man's Battle" by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. It is an excellent book, and many of its ideas and stories have stuck with me.
Driving home today, I found myself behind a big ugly pick-up truck (classic Calgary redneck-mobile), driven by just the kind of guy you would normally expect behind the wheel of such a vehicle. He didn't seem like a particularly bad driver, not that I saw him do any particularly advance maneuvers on the road anyway, but there was one moment which scared me thoroughly. We were driving along when, up about two blocks, I noticed two young ladies walking along the sidewalk, against the flow of traffic. One's gait can speak volumes about one's personality; from two blocks away, you could tell that these two KNEW that they were beautiful. As we got closer, it became apparent that their clothing was the unfortunately common summer-combination of short-shorts and low-cut/high-cut halter tops (amazing how shirts seem to be always losing fabric from both the top and the bottom).
You've heard my rants before about women's clothing, I won't bore you with that again. Quite simply, I knew that there was no way I would be able to respectfully admire these ladies as I drove past, so I chose to look away, giving some extra attention to the road, my dash, and the vehicles around me. That's not a big thing for me, I do it all the time, I know the weaknesses of my mind.
What scared me [watch as Jonny finally gets to the point] was the behaviour of the guy in the truck in front of me. I watched his head as we neared and passed the ladies. He was locked on, entirely focused. It wasn't a glance through peripheral vision (I wouldn't have seen that), it was a full out head turn. I watched as his head tracked to follow these ladies as they went from a 2 o'clock through to a 5 o'clock position in relation to his vehicle. I watched as he literally turned around to look out his back window to continue 'checking them out'. If only drivers put this much effort in to their shoulder checks, our roads would be considerably safer.
So what does this have to do with the book? One of the big stories in the book is that of one of the authors (I think) driving his fairly nice sports car along the road, locking his eyes on to a not-very-well-restrained set of breasts attached to a jogger on the sidewalk. In his enjoyment of the 'scenery' he failed to notice that traffic had stopped, and he plowed in to the vehicle in front of him.
I don't want "bird watching" to be the answer when the police ask me what I was doing when I crash in to that car in front of me.
Should I ever be married, I want to be able to go for a walk with my wife and give intelligent answers to "were you just looking at that woman?". I'll say "Yes, I was. Did you notice how her blouse clashed with her skirt, it would have looked so much nicer if she had balanced it like you did with your outfit. You look stunning in that!"
And lastly, should God ever see fit to ask me "Did you look at that woman lustfully?" (even though He knows the answer already), I want to be able to say, without the least fear of being smote for lying, that I did not.
All that to say, I hate how some of my fellow men can be so damned stupid. That guy was so distracted, he very easily could have driven right up and over the little car in front of him.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Some guys
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5 comments:
Welcome to my day's at work sometimes stuck with losers like that guy in the truck. It can be very annoying to have to tell someone to watch the traffic that's stopped in front of them while they gawk at who knows how young of women. It sickens me.
ummmm
i like to wear pretty summer dresses. does that bother u guys?
I always run the risk of sounding talibanesque when I get ranting on this. I certainly do not want burqas, but I don't know enough about fashion (and I often turn my eyes away before I'm able to note any details of outfits) to make really intelligent suggestions.
One comment, brought up my another guy in a discussion about this, was that our eyes will see two inches beyond the edges of your clothing. Obviously that's not a quantifiable statement, and I'm sure it's different for every guy, but the women in that conversation found that interesting and took that in to consideration when looking at their wardrobe.
Guys shouldn't behave like this, we shouldn't be so apt to lust, but as wrong as it may be, it is reality and it needs to be considered. There are those of us who actively fight it, but we're greatly outnumbered by those who don't.
In your pretty summer dress, will guys appreciate your beautiful smile and sharp mind? Or will those of us seeking to behave honorably find ourselves having to look away to avoid temptation? And will those without self-control find their eyes lingering elsewhere on your body? I don't have an answer, I don't know the dresses in question, those are just things to consider.
sometimes i gawk at women on the side of the road.
i once heard a profound statement that men look at women, but women don't often look at men. instead, women look at other women! their hair, clothes, boobs, butt...
obviously comparatively speaking, not sexually.
it's true isn't it!!!
If you have difficulty dealing with lustful or impure thoughts, try this: imagine how awesome God is, in that He created beauty, and our capacity to appreciate it. Your lust will dissolve, but -- and this is vitally important -- your appreciation of (physical) beauty will remain. And if that still bothers you, think beyond surfaces and imagine the soul of the person whose body you are gazing upon, not as a "ghost in the machine," but as a reality who animates the flesh. Remember, the body makes the invisible, visible.
This should take care of Amy's concern. In fact, it works even when the subject of one's appreciation is unclothed.
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