I wonder how my actions will affect those around me. This isn't a Christian idea, this isn't a religious idea, this isn't even an elective-moral idea; This is the basis of civilized society. I've been called out in the past for expecting people to live up to standards that are just not applicable to their lives; This is not one of those things!
Had a discussion with Cyler the other day about drunkenness. He made the valid point that since I've never been drunk, there is no way for me to understand how some people enjoy it. I'm not a teetotalar, I like alcoholic drinks, but I am actually quite afraid of getting drunk. I've seen how it affects those around me; Some people fall asleep, some people gain a remarkable ability to dance, and some turn in to complete and utter jackasses.
I hate the way I behave sometimes. I shudder when I recall the depths to which my mind has slipped on occasion. I am loath to think about the people that I've hurt in the past (accidentally or maliciously). All of this in my most sober moments.
What would I be like if I were drunk? Would I be a fun, carefree guy? Would I fall asleep? Or would I find within me a "Mr. Hyde" of sorts, the man whose very nature I have hated and forcefully suppressed throughout my life?
I won't judge you for drinking. I won't judge you for getting drunk. But I reserve the right to be disappointed should your behaviour (drunk or not) hurt me or those I love.
This was a disappointing Christmas day.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
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2 comments:
oddly enough I have been having this somewhat joking conversation with one of my best friends Luke over wall posts on Facebook. Luke has never been drunk in his life and I am not even sure if he has had any amounts of liquor ever. But it has gotten me thinking about what he would be like if he is drunk.
Which in turn gets me thinking of my somewhat drunken past. Which makes me realize the whole reason that I stopped drinking in the first place is that I was falling away from those I loved. I was hurting them and others around them.
I have no idea what happened...All I want to say is that I am Sorry. I know I had nothing to do with it. It is my way of apologizing for my mistakes to all those I can't find that I did wrong too. If you ever want more insight into drunkenness I am always willing to let others know...So, people can learn from my mistake.
I've always considered myself a bit of a drunk at times in my life. Some of the best conversations I've ever had with people involved a noisy bar, a group of friends, and a jug of beer. However, I can understand your point of view. I do have some moments where I acted like a drunken toddler and my friends had to take care of me. Or, to be more exact, one moment where that happened. But I've learned from it and never let myself imbibe more than a few drinks in one sitting since then.
Still, I understand that some people act angrily or viciously when drunk. People are looser with their tongues when drunk and apt to say things that they'd regret in the future. Part of me likes this about being drunk, though. Even if I say something that may hurt another individual, if I think that thought every day I would rather say that statement and get it out in the open than keep it in myself day after day. Maybe this is selfishness on my part. Or perhaps it is only brutal honesty. I'd rather live through the gamut of my feelings than hide them, day by day, and pretend I am someone who I am not.
Hope your New Years' goes better. :)
--Sarah Ferguson
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