It's been a depressing week. It's that odd kind of melancholy that refuses to associate with any easily identifiable (and fixable) circumstances. I have God, family, friends, and life, but yet I am, for lack of a suitable Jonny-size word, sad.
It strikes me as odd how strongly these feelings can hit. I try to live as a logical man, but this defies it all. I'm baffled.
How can I be comfortable with my bachelorhood one hour and so desperately lonely the next?
How can I be happy and fulfilled by my job one hour, and psyching up for a résumé rewrite the next.
How do I go from loving my friends to hating my friends (and back again) in a matter of minutes?
Am I fourteen again? Have I really not grown up?
I dunno. But it's also been a week of resolutions. Oddly enough, in the week most well known for the breaking of resolutions, I found myself wanting to make some changes. Not particularly new or creative resolutions, but refreshed nonetheless. It's time for a new man, once again.
My diet is changing and my activity level is increasing, both for the sake of my health and (who am I kidding) in the hope that I may, some day, be attractive enough that I will stop receiving the classically insincere "You're a great guy and any woman [other than me] would be lucky to have you" crap and actually catch an eye or two.
I'm going to stop trying. Instead, I'm going to do. I've spent years trying to appear intelligent, I think it's about time that I start being a bit more loose with the "I don't knows". I've tried and failed at being the perfect gentleman; It's time to stop musing about the rules, procedures, and theory and actually start living with respect for those around me.
It's time to get out of my own head. I am horrified when I look at my life and see how much time I've spent mulling over possibilities and thinking about what I should have done. I'm not known for quoting pop-culture, but I believe the "The Pineapple Incident" episode of How I Met Your Mother was actually my primary inspiration. Stop thinking, start doing! I'm not talking about an over-indulgence in alcohol and the ensuing madness, but something's gotta give as this shell is getting itchy.
Who I am just isn't working, it's time for a change.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Growth Opportunities
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Itchy shells are good. If we never had itchy shells, we would each never become. Become what? Well, you know, become. Become who God intended us to be. Of course it sounds cheesy and like a pat little Bible thing to say, but when I am disappointed with who I was or am I think, "Thank goodness God has a plan to change me, otherwise I'm hooped." So...I applaud you Jono. Break out of the itchy shell and become.
Post a Comment