Go see a movie with Jonny (you know you wanna)

My "movies to be seen" list is below with each movie's respective release date. I likely won't be seeing them on the day that they come out, but hopefully not too long after. If you want to join me, let me know.

Edit [Nov. 10]: [Further edited on November 29] Discussions with wise people in my life has somewhat lessened by fervent protests against Borat. I still stand strong in my dislike for the exploitation of people, but calling my friends out and insulting them because they enjoyed the movie was wrong. There were funny parts and I did laugh at them, but I won't be watching this movie again simply because of their placement of these funny moments within an otherwise (IMO) despicable movie.

Edit [Nov. 11] My faith in movies is restored. Stranger Than Fiction is amazing and made me so happy. Many would likely disagree but I'd label it as an excellent date movie, but then again I also found Will Farrell's "Elf" to be a charmingly romantic movie (I'm a sucker for couples that sing together). The narration was both witty and eloquent and the story premise was, though silly at points, thoroughly charming.

Edit [Nov. 29] Happy Feet has been watched. Please see the review below for the full dose of my exuberance.





Movies Seen
Now Playing - Borat!
[Seen on November 10] Not only was this a waste of my time, but I honestly feel guilty for not walking out of there. I am no prude, I enjoy Monty Python films and am either able to ignore or handle off-color jokes... but the few truly funny moments of Borat were sparsely placed throughout an otherwise over-the-top offensive movie based wholly on the manipulation and humiliation of others. It could be argued that many of them deserved it, but I am still not comfortable with the exploitation of people, especially for the laughter of others.
Now Playing - Stranger Than Fiction
[Seen on November 11] This is an excellent movie. I came away very happy (soured by the theft of my family truck... but still, the movie was excellent). I would love to see this movie again. And I know I will thoroughly enjoy it even if I don't make it a date movie (as mentioned above).
Now Playing - Happy Feet
[Seen on November 29] Happy Feet made my feet happy, along with the rest of me. My romantic side was aww'd, my funny bone was tickled, my toes were made to tap, and my nerdiness was awash in computer generated bliss. This movie is spectacular. Please, take me with you when you go to see it, I will be glad for any excuse to enjoy this movie again.


Movies I Have Yet To See
Now Playing - The Queen
Now Playing - Flushed Away
Now Playing - Casino Royale
December 1 - The Nativity Story
December 8 - Unaccompanied Minors
December 22 - Night at the Museum

"I hate Christmas parties"

No, I don't actually hate Christmas parties, but one of the many themes in that song by Relient K is the idea of being uncomfortable at parties.

What's so uncomfortable? Unfamiliarity!

I can go to a party and be perfectly happy simply hanging out with my well established friends. But, at least in my mind, this defeats one of the primary purposes of a party: meeting people! Unfortunately, this also happens to be one of my greatest fears.

Will they like me? Will they want to talk to me? Will it get akward after a minute or two? Do they even want to be approached by me?

I'm not one who hides well, most people notice me fairly quickly in a group. For years I figured that I was an odd-man-out with this shyness and that anyone who was actually interested in talking to me, would. My conclusion from those years? Either no one wanted to talk with me, or there are a whole lot of other people like me out there who aren't comfortable with making that first walk across the room.

I have met many interesting people in my life and had many excellent conversations with them, but none of these are attached to parties. They are all situations where I've been, for lack of a better description, forced in to close quarters with someone and gotten to know them better out of necessity. But I'd hate to think that my only way of meeting people is by force.

So how do I take it to the next level? I honestly don't know. Heck, I've been reading Jen's blog for weeks in amongst my travels through our blog circle but yet I didn't even make an effort to walk over, officially introduce myself, and chat at Amy's party last night. We can read and comment on detailed and introspective journal entries from each other but yet I didn't even go bother to sit down and talk. How friendly is that?? So something has got to change because, if for absolutely no other reason, I am convinced that there are a whole lot of very interesting people out there who I have not talked to and who I am missing out talking with because of my shyness. It's time for a change.

Things for me to remember at a party:

• The only opinion which really matters is that of God (a slip of the tongue or a failed conversation is not a huge loss in the big scheme of things).
• I don't need to be the last one at the party, a mid-evening departure is not an etiquette-busting option if I've carried myself well for the time what I was there and exhausted all opportunities for socialization.
• I'm pretty good at reading people, I shouldn't fear approaching them as long as I am aware of their reactions and make appropriate decisions regarding whether I should continue a conversation or not.
• As awestruck as I am around women, I'm gonna have to grow up and talk to them someday, however knee-shakingly nervous I may be. 50% of the people I meet will be ladies, and I'm sure they've got some interesting stories to hear as well. I have to be careful about flirting and such, but I'd like to think I have enough self-control to actually keep up a conversation with a woman without slipping in to 'romantic Jonny' mode.
• I need to actually know what I'm talking about. If I don't and someone else does, I need to be humble enough to listen and learn. If I do, maybe that's my 'interesting' topic for the night. Either way, need to watch my pride.

So that's where I'm at. Any other suggestions are always welcome.

4-chords

For those who know and love music, I would suggest watching the following link.

4 chords, whole buncha songs.

Winter Memories

Having just read Jen's post about those special moments in life, I was reminiscing about an evening that I had 2 years ago, during the Christmas season.

I had been working late at the college and found myself waiting waiting for the 9:00 #13 to arrive. It was probably around -20 or so outside with a light dusting of snow falling. Those of us who were waiting were surprised when we saw an oddly colored, older model, #13 bus adorned with the old mechanical route sign. It was an absolutely wonderful (never thought I'd use those words to describe a Calgary Transit vehicle) experience. It had an incomplete looking purple/beige paint job (inside and out), thickly-padded split-bench seats with real fabric upholstery, rear doors that still had to be opened by the driver, and a heating system which somehow managed to evenly heat the entire bus to that perfect "in from the cold" temperature without any uncomfortable hot spots. I gazed around for a moment, found my favourite seat (window, door-side, right in front of the rear doors), and settled in. My CD player had a mixed Christmas album playing on it and I was absolutely blissful as I rode that crazy looking bus through 35 minutes of some of the most beautiful scenes imaginable (Upper Mount Royal homes with fresh snow and that ethereal winter glow).

I praised God alot during that ride. That experience, at least for me, was a joy blessing in one of the most unusual and unexpected forms. God knows what we like, and He can and does meet those likes once in a while, but that night taught me that He knows me well enough to give me a joy well beyond what I could have imagined, even through something as seemingly kitschy as a bus.

Touch

[I had this post up for a couple of hours last week, but I removed it out of fear that I really was quite weird in feeling this way. Having, just now, returned from a weekend retreat where this very topic came up, I feel comfortable posting this, knowing that I am not alone in feeling this way, and that the physical contact "love language" is actually quite common.

It is also worth noting that this was written in a rather selfish mood where I somehow skipped over my family who often demonstrates caring through a hugs and such. I guess that I was assuming that as a given, and only looking externally.]

It is no wonder to me that self injury is so common these days. Those who suffer with it often make claims of chasing some kind of feeling in an otherwise numb life. I thank God for the hope He has given me to stay away from that struggle, but I know the numbness all too well.

If you were placed in a pitch dark room for a long period of time, wouldn't you naturally question after a while whether you had simply gone blind at some point and you now simply couldn't see what had turned in to an otherwise bright and friendly room? I was sitting here trying to remember the last purposeful touch that I had given to, or received from, a friend. A hug, a pat on the back, a squeeze of the shoulder, a hand on the head... nothing. Last night, in one of those dark and negative moods, I sat in my room questioning whether I would actually be able to feel anything if someone actually did dare come near me.

The apostle John sat beside Jesus, laying his head on the chest of the messiah while they talked. There was such intimacy (we need to reclaim this word from the purely 'sexual' usage) in that connection. A student and his rabbi, two friends.

Our group used to pray intimately, "texas style" as Nolan and Faye deemed it (the electric chair). You would be covered in hands and you knew that you had some connection with those people. Your shoulders would be squeezed, your head would be patted, you would be jostled back and forth, there was no doubt that you were loved.

Now, on the rare occasion that we actually pray for each other, there is no contact. Nor is there much contact at any other points. It's like we're lepers, or think everyone else is. Guys don't dare touch other guys any more. I hate that the specter of homosexuality has destroyed the idea of this kind of non-sexual intimacy among men. It was a true and valuable kind of friendly/brotherly intimacy before it was perverted and attached to corrupted sexuality. Why can't we, as Christian brothers, be as close as Jesus and John.

I don't know if I am totally alone in this or not. I'm sure that I've freaked out a bunch of you. But I cannot ignore the fact that I crave touch: it is how I know that people care for me. It also happens to be one of the most uncomfortable things for people to do around someone like me (no one likes touching a fat guy), and for that reason I am equally hesitant to dole it out as I don't know how it would be taken. I am very confident that I am not alone in feeling this way.

I'd also like to mention that I do believe that this disconnect is justified in terms of my actions of this sort towards women. In my experience, there are two sorts of guys who are comfortable expressing themselves in this manner with their lady friends:

• Real men of God who have gained the maturity, self-control, and respect for women through the lense of God.
• Guys who are comfortable exploiting their lady friends to fulfill an agenda of lust (acknowledged or not) under the guise of real friendship.

The former being the goal which I long for but have yet to reach. The latter being what I dread becoming. So I have to say, as much as I wish that I didn't, that there is value in rule #1.

(That's alot of stuff, I know. But I'd like to hear your thoughts on it.)