Go see a movie with Jonny (you know you wanna)

My "movies to be seen" list is below with each movie's respective release date. I likely won't be seeing them on the day that they come out, but hopefully not too long after. If you want to join me, let me know.

Edit [Nov. 10]: [Further edited on November 29] Discussions with wise people in my life has somewhat lessened by fervent protests against Borat. I still stand strong in my dislike for the exploitation of people, but calling my friends out and insulting them because they enjoyed the movie was wrong. There were funny parts and I did laugh at them, but I won't be watching this movie again simply because of their placement of these funny moments within an otherwise (IMO) despicable movie.

Edit [Nov. 11] My faith in movies is restored. Stranger Than Fiction is amazing and made me so happy. Many would likely disagree but I'd label it as an excellent date movie, but then again I also found Will Farrell's "Elf" to be a charmingly romantic movie (I'm a sucker for couples that sing together). The narration was both witty and eloquent and the story premise was, though silly at points, thoroughly charming.

Edit [Nov. 29] Happy Feet has been watched. Please see the review below for the full dose of my exuberance.





Movies Seen
Now Playing - Borat!
[Seen on November 10] Not only was this a waste of my time, but I honestly feel guilty for not walking out of there. I am no prude, I enjoy Monty Python films and am either able to ignore or handle off-color jokes... but the few truly funny moments of Borat were sparsely placed throughout an otherwise over-the-top offensive movie based wholly on the manipulation and humiliation of others. It could be argued that many of them deserved it, but I am still not comfortable with the exploitation of people, especially for the laughter of others.
Now Playing - Stranger Than Fiction
[Seen on November 11] This is an excellent movie. I came away very happy (soured by the theft of my family truck... but still, the movie was excellent). I would love to see this movie again. And I know I will thoroughly enjoy it even if I don't make it a date movie (as mentioned above).
Now Playing - Happy Feet
[Seen on November 29] Happy Feet made my feet happy, along with the rest of me. My romantic side was aww'd, my funny bone was tickled, my toes were made to tap, and my nerdiness was awash in computer generated bliss. This movie is spectacular. Please, take me with you when you go to see it, I will be glad for any excuse to enjoy this movie again.


Movies I Have Yet To See
Now Playing - The Queen
Now Playing - Flushed Away
Now Playing - Casino Royale
December 1 - The Nativity Story
December 8 - Unaccompanied Minors
December 22 - Night at the Museum

"I hate Christmas parties"

No, I don't actually hate Christmas parties, but one of the many themes in that song by Relient K is the idea of being uncomfortable at parties.

What's so uncomfortable? Unfamiliarity!

I can go to a party and be perfectly happy simply hanging out with my well established friends. But, at least in my mind, this defeats one of the primary purposes of a party: meeting people! Unfortunately, this also happens to be one of my greatest fears.

Will they like me? Will they want to talk to me? Will it get akward after a minute or two? Do they even want to be approached by me?

I'm not one who hides well, most people notice me fairly quickly in a group. For years I figured that I was an odd-man-out with this shyness and that anyone who was actually interested in talking to me, would. My conclusion from those years? Either no one wanted to talk with me, or there are a whole lot of other people like me out there who aren't comfortable with making that first walk across the room.

I have met many interesting people in my life and had many excellent conversations with them, but none of these are attached to parties. They are all situations where I've been, for lack of a better description, forced in to close quarters with someone and gotten to know them better out of necessity. But I'd hate to think that my only way of meeting people is by force.

So how do I take it to the next level? I honestly don't know. Heck, I've been reading Jen's blog for weeks in amongst my travels through our blog circle but yet I didn't even make an effort to walk over, officially introduce myself, and chat at Amy's party last night. We can read and comment on detailed and introspective journal entries from each other but yet I didn't even go bother to sit down and talk. How friendly is that?? So something has got to change because, if for absolutely no other reason, I am convinced that there are a whole lot of very interesting people out there who I have not talked to and who I am missing out talking with because of my shyness. It's time for a change.

Things for me to remember at a party:

• The only opinion which really matters is that of God (a slip of the tongue or a failed conversation is not a huge loss in the big scheme of things).
• I don't need to be the last one at the party, a mid-evening departure is not an etiquette-busting option if I've carried myself well for the time what I was there and exhausted all opportunities for socialization.
• I'm pretty good at reading people, I shouldn't fear approaching them as long as I am aware of their reactions and make appropriate decisions regarding whether I should continue a conversation or not.
• As awestruck as I am around women, I'm gonna have to grow up and talk to them someday, however knee-shakingly nervous I may be. 50% of the people I meet will be ladies, and I'm sure they've got some interesting stories to hear as well. I have to be careful about flirting and such, but I'd like to think I have enough self-control to actually keep up a conversation with a woman without slipping in to 'romantic Jonny' mode.
• I need to actually know what I'm talking about. If I don't and someone else does, I need to be humble enough to listen and learn. If I do, maybe that's my 'interesting' topic for the night. Either way, need to watch my pride.

So that's where I'm at. Any other suggestions are always welcome.

4-chords

For those who know and love music, I would suggest watching the following link.

4 chords, whole buncha songs.

Winter Memories

Having just read Jen's post about those special moments in life, I was reminiscing about an evening that I had 2 years ago, during the Christmas season.

I had been working late at the college and found myself waiting waiting for the 9:00 #13 to arrive. It was probably around -20 or so outside with a light dusting of snow falling. Those of us who were waiting were surprised when we saw an oddly colored, older model, #13 bus adorned with the old mechanical route sign. It was an absolutely wonderful (never thought I'd use those words to describe a Calgary Transit vehicle) experience. It had an incomplete looking purple/beige paint job (inside and out), thickly-padded split-bench seats with real fabric upholstery, rear doors that still had to be opened by the driver, and a heating system which somehow managed to evenly heat the entire bus to that perfect "in from the cold" temperature without any uncomfortable hot spots. I gazed around for a moment, found my favourite seat (window, door-side, right in front of the rear doors), and settled in. My CD player had a mixed Christmas album playing on it and I was absolutely blissful as I rode that crazy looking bus through 35 minutes of some of the most beautiful scenes imaginable (Upper Mount Royal homes with fresh snow and that ethereal winter glow).

I praised God alot during that ride. That experience, at least for me, was a joy blessing in one of the most unusual and unexpected forms. God knows what we like, and He can and does meet those likes once in a while, but that night taught me that He knows me well enough to give me a joy well beyond what I could have imagined, even through something as seemingly kitschy as a bus.

Touch

[I had this post up for a couple of hours last week, but I removed it out of fear that I really was quite weird in feeling this way. Having, just now, returned from a weekend retreat where this very topic came up, I feel comfortable posting this, knowing that I am not alone in feeling this way, and that the physical contact "love language" is actually quite common.

It is also worth noting that this was written in a rather selfish mood where I somehow skipped over my family who often demonstrates caring through a hugs and such. I guess that I was assuming that as a given, and only looking externally.]

It is no wonder to me that self injury is so common these days. Those who suffer with it often make claims of chasing some kind of feeling in an otherwise numb life. I thank God for the hope He has given me to stay away from that struggle, but I know the numbness all too well.

If you were placed in a pitch dark room for a long period of time, wouldn't you naturally question after a while whether you had simply gone blind at some point and you now simply couldn't see what had turned in to an otherwise bright and friendly room? I was sitting here trying to remember the last purposeful touch that I had given to, or received from, a friend. A hug, a pat on the back, a squeeze of the shoulder, a hand on the head... nothing. Last night, in one of those dark and negative moods, I sat in my room questioning whether I would actually be able to feel anything if someone actually did dare come near me.

The apostle John sat beside Jesus, laying his head on the chest of the messiah while they talked. There was such intimacy (we need to reclaim this word from the purely 'sexual' usage) in that connection. A student and his rabbi, two friends.

Our group used to pray intimately, "texas style" as Nolan and Faye deemed it (the electric chair). You would be covered in hands and you knew that you had some connection with those people. Your shoulders would be squeezed, your head would be patted, you would be jostled back and forth, there was no doubt that you were loved.

Now, on the rare occasion that we actually pray for each other, there is no contact. Nor is there much contact at any other points. It's like we're lepers, or think everyone else is. Guys don't dare touch other guys any more. I hate that the specter of homosexuality has destroyed the idea of this kind of non-sexual intimacy among men. It was a true and valuable kind of friendly/brotherly intimacy before it was perverted and attached to corrupted sexuality. Why can't we, as Christian brothers, be as close as Jesus and John.

I don't know if I am totally alone in this or not. I'm sure that I've freaked out a bunch of you. But I cannot ignore the fact that I crave touch: it is how I know that people care for me. It also happens to be one of the most uncomfortable things for people to do around someone like me (no one likes touching a fat guy), and for that reason I am equally hesitant to dole it out as I don't know how it would be taken. I am very confident that I am not alone in feeling this way.

I'd also like to mention that I do believe that this disconnect is justified in terms of my actions of this sort towards women. In my experience, there are two sorts of guys who are comfortable expressing themselves in this manner with their lady friends:

• Real men of God who have gained the maturity, self-control, and respect for women through the lense of God.
• Guys who are comfortable exploiting their lady friends to fulfill an agenda of lust (acknowledged or not) under the guise of real friendship.

The former being the goal which I long for but have yet to reach. The latter being what I dread becoming. So I have to say, as much as I wish that I didn't, that there is value in rule #1.

(That's alot of stuff, I know. But I'd like to hear your thoughts on it.)

'tis the season

Mr. and Mrs. Horch (the younger) were getting all mushy under the open hatchback of my car the other day. The ensuing discussion ended with the insistence that my car needed mistletoe... so here's a mock-up of the eventual setup


For further effect, I will now quote some lines from one of my favourite Christmas tunes: "Mistletoe" by The Heebee Jeebees

Oh the weather outside is grating,
If you don't have luck with dating,
If your love life has left you low,
Mistletoe mistletoe mistletoe.
...
If you pucker up for a kiss,
It's the shrub that you're gonna need,
And the truth of the story is,
It brings happiness, this Christmas weed.
...
Results are more safe than drugging,
And it just might lead to hugging,
You'll be married before you know,
Mistletoe mistletoe mistletoe

Pure Fashion

I have some awesome coworkers. One in particular, Victor, constantly amazes me with new tidbits about the world. On Monday, he introduced me to some photos he took at the Pure Fashion show in May of this year. I could tell you about the crazy camera equipment he has (and my jealousy over it) but what really struck me was the beauty of the young women in the photos.

As I've said in other posts, I enjoy looking at women. I'd be lying if I said otherwise. I find them fascinating and beautiful. But there needs to be a clear distinction made between the appreciation of a woman's beauty and the act of "checking her out;" The former is pure and respectable, comparable to the times when I praise God over the beauty in a sunset, flower, or lanscape. The latter is most often sexual and disrespectful to the woman, not unlike shopping in a meat market. Too often I find myself redirecting my eyes away from an immodestly dressed woman because I know my weaknesses and recognize that there is no way I'll be able to look at her in a respectful manner. The question which must always be asked is whether a woman has a face or personality in the mind of the men who see her. If her clothing is modest, her smile, eyes, personality, laugh, and behaviour will be ingrained in the minds of men who meet her. If her clothing is immodest, she might as well look like this as that is all that the guys will see and remember.

So here we have a fashion show based entirely on promoting modest and virtuous dress for young ladies (please notice the lack of frumpy grandma-sweaters and burkas). How awesome is that.

(Note: Yes, I know that the Venus de Milo has a head... that wouldn't have illustrated my point very well. Hooray for Photoshop).

How to know if something is funny.

My father is my humour litmus test. Only the dry wit of an engineer can give a reliable assessment of the true humour of a situation. If he chuckles, that is good. If he laughs out loud, that's even better. But when he giggles, I know the joke has hit its mark.

I present to you, a giggle-worthy image.


[a play on " oh the humanity", for those who don't know what this is referring to]

Jonny's Guidelines for Platonic Friendship

I just finished reading a humourous article containing tips for girls on how to support a platonic friendship with a guy. I found the original to be crude and troublingly worldly but I liked the general idea [the original]. So without further ado, I present to you, Jonny's guidelines for platonic Friendships.


Jonny's Guidelines for Platonic Friendship
Some suggestions for the ladies to avoid any confusion in a male-female friendship.

1. No hugging for greetings or salutations. Hugging is only allowed for personal tragedies or blessed events when the emotional significance of the situation blocks out the knowledge that your breasts are pressing against me. We have hands; lets shake them. (Ya, this may be a bit blunt, but it is reality. I, like many of my dude cohorts, am seeking to live a holy life, sexual temptation is one of the leading attacks against us guys)

2. Your clothing speaks loudly, what is it saying? God made women beautiful, they are an artform beyond any creation of human hands. For us men who still seek some modicum of gallantry, the desire is strong to carefully appreciate the beauty of the women in our lives while not letting the flesh corrupt that appreciation. Are you helping or hurting the cause?

3. No seat sharing. When girls sit on the arm of my chair or in my lap or next to me in a one-person seat, I cannot help but think that she is at least somewhat interested in me.

4. No flirting. If you laugh at a joke of mine, it had better be a funny joke.

5. No sparing of my feelings. It’s emasculating. If I am truly making a fool of myself, feel free to clue me in, that’s what friends do.

6. No setting me up on pity dates. If you truly know of a woman who would be very happy with me and I with her, then we will talk.

7. No being attracted to me. You weren't interested in me before, if you change your mind but still only want to be friends, don't tell me. In fact, don’t even compliment me as that will torment me for days.

8. No confiding in me about boys. I am not your girl friend; I am your man friend who, when it comes to relationship advice, will be taking the same stance as your big brother. I officially hate all men that you date now or in the future. Asking for hypothetical guy advice is okay. But don't immerse me in all of the details of your current relationship, there is only so much I can handle. If this rule seems contrary to rule 5, just remember that I’m a beautifully complex being.

9. No asking for man favors such as furniture moving, yard work, or car trouble help. I don't like to waste displays of extreme masculinity on women who otherwise have no interest in me. In a pinch you can bribe me to do man chores with beer. Please hand me the case as a gift versus doling them out one at a time from your fridge. This keeps it strictly business.

10. Try to avoid incidental contact. I can't outlaw this since there are times when the brush of a leg or a sleeve is purely accidental, but try to be careful. You can take steps to not put your arm in mine while walking or lay against me on a couch or other things like that. Those messages just do not mix with the friend variable.

11. No asking for massages or neck rubs. The messages that sends are way to confusing for our man minds to handle. Shouldn't your wonderful boyfriend be doing that for you anyway?

12. No dating any guy who treats you bad or neglects you in any way. That is just a slap in the face of every nice guy in your life.

Gingerbread Architecture

2 years, 2 Christmas parties, and 2 gingerbread creations demanding more skill than I could muster. I know that there are some who could pull off the gothic-revival detailings of the Canadian parliament buildings or the guldastras or the pistaqs of the beautiful Taj Mahal, but I am definitely not one who holds those talents. Young Ms. Archer showed up last year with a masterful mansion/fortress containing elaborately decorated parapets, fine icing detailing, and, the piece de resistance, stained glass windows. She is definitely one of those who could actually master the famous ones. I think that she should try for St. Patrick's Church in Medicine Hat. (note: each word in that name has a different link)

So in light of the ridiculous lengths I've gone to in jurry-rigging support for otherwise doomed creations, I think I'll stick with something simple like a pleasant cottage or something like that. Ooo, maybe that crazy-awesome wood-cutters cottage from Sleeping Beauty (yes, we watched it a few days ago at the Horch house, it was as wonderfully sappy as I had remembered it).

PS. No, I don't have the architectural terminology of the Taj Mahal memorized. Wikipedia is a wonderful thing.