A gentleman...

Here at the close of Christmas day, I am sated. It was enjoyable and I am most thankful for the time I was able to spend with my family. The gifts were nice as well, though I'd like to think that I've grown less materialistic as I've aged.

The highlight of my day was receiving four books from the "Gentlemanners" series. As authors, John Bridges and Bryan Curtis succeed in presenting etiquette in a clear, succinct, and memorable manner. The four books cover: table manners, entertaining/hospitality, the writing of toasts and correspondence, and everyday behaviour. I was introduced to the series through my friend Trevor. A few of us friends were sitting in his basement and he decided (the causal circumstances are long forgotten) to mockingly orate an excerpt from "As A Gentleman Would Say." I was won over and have, from that point on, desired to add that book (and its companion volumes) to my library. Though some of the ideas could be considered culturally irrelevant or "over the top," most of the books contain very valuable advice which I intend to learn and enact throughout my life. I've always wanted to be a gentleman, known for the feelings of respect and honor that people feel they receive from me. Plus, its always handy to know weird things like how to cut in during a waltz and what to say to a lady whose evening dress looks like maternity clothing.

With that said, I figured I'd share the opening section of "A Gentleman At The Table." Since much of our time together is spent around a table, I couldn't think of a more suitable excerpt to share.


32 things every gentleman should know before he comes to the table.

1. A gentleman does not "grade" the table manners of his fellow diners.
2. A gentleman does not assume that his fellow diners are "grading" his own behaviour.
3. A gentleman does not talk with his mouth full.
4. A gentleman does not chew with his mouth open, nor does he smack his lips, no matter how delicious the food may be.
5. A gentleman makes as little noise as possible while eating.
6. A gentleman does not chomp on ice.
7. A gentleman does not pick his teeth at the table.
8. A gentleman keeps his napkin in his lap while he is eating. He does not tuck it into his shirtfront.
9. A gentleman sits up straight, especially at the table.
10. A gentleman keeps his elbows off the table when a meal is under way.
11. If a gentleman finds that he has breadcrumbs on his shirtfront, he brushes them off.
12. A gentleman finds no need to apologize for bread crumbs.
13. A gentleman does not play with his food, knead his bread with his fingers, or stir the last uneaten morsels of his dinner about on the plate.
14. A gentleman does not wear his ball cap or any other headgear at the table.
15. If a gentleman is asked to pass the salt or pepper, he passes them both.
16. A gentleman does not leave the table without asking to be excused.
17. When a gentleman leaves the table, he not need explain his reason for asking to be excused.
18. A gentleman does not lean back in his chair.
19. A gentleman tries his best not to belch or burp at the table.
20. A gentleman knows that belches, burps, and coughs can occur at any time. He keeps his napkin ready to muffle unfortunate sounds.
21. A gentleman need not use his pock-handkerchief to stifle a slight sneeze, cough, or burp at the table. Instead, he uses his napkin.
22. If a gentleman finds himself in a situation, such as a fit of sneezing that necessitates the use of his pocket-handkerchief, he leaves the table.
23. A gentleman never blows his nose at the table.
24. A gentleman says please and thank you, especially to servers, in a restaurant or in a private home.
25. A gentleman does not wolf down his food.
26. A gentleman does not slurp his soup.
27. A gentleman does not attempt to cool his food by blowing on it. If he fears singeing his taste buds, he lets his food gradually and undisturbed in its own bowl or on its own plate.
28. A gentleman never argues with a server, at a restaurant, or at a private party.
29. Whether he is an invited guest or the host of a restaurant party, a gentleman shows up on time.
30. A gentleman does not overstay his welcome. However, he may linger at the table after dinner along with the other guests and his host or hostess, knowing that such moments are often most pleasing and satisfying of the evening.
31. A gentleman does not loosen his belt, no matter how discreetly, even after an extravagantly large meal.
32. In any aspect of his life, but especially at the dinner table, a gentleman does not bite off more than he can chew.

Christmas Party Proof

The day after the annual Harris Family Christmas party. I enjoyed myself, I hope everyone else did. It was definitely a bit more subdued with our loudest and most energetic friends either crippled or out of town.

Some choice photos from the evening:


I had to work for this shot. Melanie spent all evening blocking various people's attempts to photograph her. It remains my goal to become skilled enough at photography to make people like Melanie and Amy comfortable in front of my camera.



Dan and Holly. It was nice to finally meet Holly; We had heard about her for well over a year but had never actually met her. She's a very nice young lady. She and Dan make a cute couple.



Trevor and his creepy cardboard girlfriend.



Here we see Nolan, making a move on Trevor's creepy cardboard girlfriend.



The ever lovely Amy. RJ took this shot and clearly has some kind of amazing talent. Amy screams and cowers when I try to take her photo.



Suited Trevor and the cripples (RJ and Nolan). RJ has a nice line of staples in his arm from a recent fracture; Nolan has a small bandage on his knee, the size of which really contradicts the gruesomeness of the nail-gun wound beneath it.

Party in Six Days

So, my Christmas party is in six days. Hooray for all who are coming, I pity those who are not (Banff, cruise, exams... lame excuses people!)

I figured I'd post a reminder regarding my desire for competing gingerbread creations. Last year there were only two... We must have more gingerbread creations!

So to spur you on in your creativity, the blueprints for my creation are below. Christ Church Anglican Cathedral in Fredricton, New Brunswick [the real thing]. Designed by famed Gothic Revival architect, Frank Wills. This has long been one of my favourite peices of Canadian architecture; I hope I can do it justice with this oh-so-delicious recreation.

Writing Resources

Having just completed my term paper, it occured to me that I have a whole stack of resources which might have been helpful for my fellow post-secondary students. If you aren't done your semester yet, feel free to borrow some of these. If you are done, sorry, but you are welcome to use these next semester.

• The Chicago Manual of Style 15th Edition (The writer's bible)
• Turabian's "A Manual for writers of Term Papers, Theses, and Dissertations" (Gold)
  
• Strunk & White's "The Elements of Style" (The writer's apocrypha)
• Reuben's "Science and Technical Writing " (Excellent for anything scientific)
• Blake & Bly's "The Elements of Technical Writing (Great for those scared of big books)
• Hacker's "Rules for Writers 4th edition" (The 'illustrated children's book' of writing resources. Very accessible and very handy)
• Campbell's "Coherence, Continuity, and Cohesion" (Painful to read, but the theory is good)

I have a few others lying around which I'd also be glad to loan out.

And, of course, if you ever need advice, editing, or critiques, I'd be glad to help. I'd like to think that the last four years of school have molded me in to a half-decent technical writer.

Hugs

The following video is about free hugs. It is quite awesome. Yes, this does seems to counter what I said over the last few weeks, chalk it up to me being a complicated individual.

[Edit: I was going to try and do some awesome embedded video here but it just wasn't cooperating. Check out the link]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diccc7je8tg

Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

Once in a while, God gives me an evening where my voice actually sounds good. I love it, I sing loudly in my car, loudly enough for me to actually hear the echo and realize that I'm actually sounding decent. It happened singing Christmas carols in the car the other night, and I couldn't help but think about the movie Elf and the short scene where Buddy and Jovy sing together (in the ladies washroom, no less). This is something I have long desired (the singing, not the ladies washroom). I want to sing to, and with, the lady of my life. And, by golly, on those nights where my voice doesn't sound like a strangled cat, I can't help but dream that I could sing to that lady and woo her with crooned lines like "Your eyes are like starlight now" or "I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell."

Thankfully the good voice doesn't come around often, I'd hate for the ladies to miss my oh-so-charming stutttters and misspeaks.