A gentleman...

Here at the close of Christmas day, I am sated. It was enjoyable and I am most thankful for the time I was able to spend with my family. The gifts were nice as well, though I'd like to think that I've grown less materialistic as I've aged.

The highlight of my day was receiving four books from the "Gentlemanners" series. As authors, John Bridges and Bryan Curtis succeed in presenting etiquette in a clear, succinct, and memorable manner. The four books cover: table manners, entertaining/hospitality, the writing of toasts and correspondence, and everyday behaviour. I was introduced to the series through my friend Trevor. A few of us friends were sitting in his basement and he decided (the causal circumstances are long forgotten) to mockingly orate an excerpt from "As A Gentleman Would Say." I was won over and have, from that point on, desired to add that book (and its companion volumes) to my library. Though some of the ideas could be considered culturally irrelevant or "over the top," most of the books contain very valuable advice which I intend to learn and enact throughout my life. I've always wanted to be a gentleman, known for the feelings of respect and honor that people feel they receive from me. Plus, its always handy to know weird things like how to cut in during a waltz and what to say to a lady whose evening dress looks like maternity clothing.

With that said, I figured I'd share the opening section of "A Gentleman At The Table." Since much of our time together is spent around a table, I couldn't think of a more suitable excerpt to share.


32 things every gentleman should know before he comes to the table.

1. A gentleman does not "grade" the table manners of his fellow diners.
2. A gentleman does not assume that his fellow diners are "grading" his own behaviour.
3. A gentleman does not talk with his mouth full.
4. A gentleman does not chew with his mouth open, nor does he smack his lips, no matter how delicious the food may be.
5. A gentleman makes as little noise as possible while eating.
6. A gentleman does not chomp on ice.
7. A gentleman does not pick his teeth at the table.
8. A gentleman keeps his napkin in his lap while he is eating. He does not tuck it into his shirtfront.
9. A gentleman sits up straight, especially at the table.
10. A gentleman keeps his elbows off the table when a meal is under way.
11. If a gentleman finds that he has breadcrumbs on his shirtfront, he brushes them off.
12. A gentleman finds no need to apologize for bread crumbs.
13. A gentleman does not play with his food, knead his bread with his fingers, or stir the last uneaten morsels of his dinner about on the plate.
14. A gentleman does not wear his ball cap or any other headgear at the table.
15. If a gentleman is asked to pass the salt or pepper, he passes them both.
16. A gentleman does not leave the table without asking to be excused.
17. When a gentleman leaves the table, he not need explain his reason for asking to be excused.
18. A gentleman does not lean back in his chair.
19. A gentleman tries his best not to belch or burp at the table.
20. A gentleman knows that belches, burps, and coughs can occur at any time. He keeps his napkin ready to muffle unfortunate sounds.
21. A gentleman need not use his pock-handkerchief to stifle a slight sneeze, cough, or burp at the table. Instead, he uses his napkin.
22. If a gentleman finds himself in a situation, such as a fit of sneezing that necessitates the use of his pocket-handkerchief, he leaves the table.
23. A gentleman never blows his nose at the table.
24. A gentleman says please and thank you, especially to servers, in a restaurant or in a private home.
25. A gentleman does not wolf down his food.
26. A gentleman does not slurp his soup.
27. A gentleman does not attempt to cool his food by blowing on it. If he fears singeing his taste buds, he lets his food gradually and undisturbed in its own bowl or on its own plate.
28. A gentleman never argues with a server, at a restaurant, or at a private party.
29. Whether he is an invited guest or the host of a restaurant party, a gentleman shows up on time.
30. A gentleman does not overstay his welcome. However, he may linger at the table after dinner along with the other guests and his host or hostess, knowing that such moments are often most pleasing and satisfying of the evening.
31. A gentleman does not loosen his belt, no matter how discreetly, even after an extravagantly large meal.
32. In any aspect of his life, but especially at the dinner table, a gentleman does not bite off more than he can chew.