Eyes

For those who weren't totally scared off by that last post (late night ranting is rarely a good thing), I have a favour to ask.

I want to learn how to photograph eyes.

I like eyes, they are powerful. I want to learn how to capture that power in my photographs (capture the eyes well and everything else will follow).

If there is anyone who would be willing to sit for a bit while I played with camera settings, lighting arrangements, and different shooting angles, I would love to hear from you. When I say anyone, I mean anyone. I don't care if you don't think you photograph well (you do) or you think you aren't beautiful/handsome (you are), if you've got an afternoon or evening free to hang out with me and help with my understanding of eyes, I would love to hear from you.

Wow it's a lonely Jonny (a rarity?)

Sitting around a fire with Nathan, Lauren, Daniel, and a man whose name I have forgotten but who I know is a good friend of Lauren and her family, talking about anything and everything which came to mind. The last few minutes of the of the conversation dealt with our plans for Daniel's romantic future. It was fun, Daniel was a bit uncomfortable (though he was chided thoroughly for this and educated in the proper responses by this very wise man) but I hope that he enjoyed himself nonetheless.

But... here's where those wonky little cogs started creaking and turning within my head. Romance isn't an aspect of my life which is discussed much. It is certainly not brought up comfortably in conversation by others and, should I ever let it slip, it definitely doesn't hold up for long. It is uncomfortable. Honestly. How often in movies have they used the scene of someone holding a dying person, telling them that their not dying and then quickly changing the subject in order to not deal with the reality. My friends maintain a modicum of decency, tiptoeing around the reality at hand. Even if I were the most charming fellow -- an option unfortunately degraded by lacking confidence, growing self-absorption, and seemingly endless unhealthy pride -- the fact would remain that I have a figure which is the antithesis of desirable. So it is there that I find my struggle as one who is hopelessly romantic. I might as well have an unquenchable desire to run the Boston Marathon, it's just about as likely. What the real issue then is how to approach this as talking about it makes others uncomfortable but the resulting pain from keeping it in simply continues the degredation of my personality as well as my self-control and general attention to my physical self.

I wasn't lazy and I didn't over-eat but I gained weight anyway. As I gained weight, I came to care less and less for myself (as others seemingly cared less and less for me) and the downward spiral began. What bursts of confidence and motivation I've had have always fallen away simply with the daunting task of moving this massive frame enough to actually do any good. It is killing me, emotionally and physically. I want to love, I want to be loved, but I don't want a woman to 'settle' for someone like me. No one deserves this.

I hate rants that solicit pity. Pity is of no use to me. I want advice, guidance, help, but I honestly don't think that these are things which can be offered by those around me. I haven't been real with you guys, how could I expect you to be real with me. As hard as it has been to do so, I will continue to look upward for assistance. God is faithful, no matter how badly I've screwed up. Thank you Jesus for paying ALL of that price. I hope I can learn to follow well enough to fix this, because I certainly haven't been doing a good job on my own.

Yes... I see.
(This will mean nothing if you weren't there for the Pinky and the Brain fest on Saturday)

Jonnymobile

What you see below is the new (140km on the odometer at the moment) Jonnymobile.

It is a classy gray, 2007, Honda Fit Sport. Very comfortable, very fun, very efficient, and very useful (I'll gladly demonstrate all possible interior arrangements to those interested). Needless to say, I am a very happy boy. I no longer have to rely on the availability of my parent's vehicles, I won't find myself on the Bowness #1 bus much anymore, and I have an excellent tool for helping friends with both getting around and carrying any number of oddly shaped objects which one would never think would fit in a sub-compact. I finally have the freedom (which I've desired for years) to be able to realistically serve those around me with a vehicle, I love it. Please, use that freedom as you need. I look forward to making myself, and my vehicle, useful.

Communal Art - A proposal

I've had this idea running around in my head for a while but I am now seriously wondering whether something might come of it.

I hope to one day setup a photo studio where I can not only store/use all the usual photographic paraphernalia but also display work and generally provide a comfortable artistic environment. The thing is that I know loads of people, even just in my group of friends, who also display talents and desires which would fit well with a communal art setting. With this diversity, I then think that a general creative/art space would be awesome. Lease a commercial space for the single purpose of providing a space for our friends to do:
- Photography
- Painting
- Sculpture
- Music
- CG art
- etc.

Looking at those things, they all tie in together as well as for many years the backdrops of photographs were beautifully painted renditions of environments. Many artists throughout history have painted from photographic inspiration. Photographic post-processing needs computers and so does CG art, and both use each other to get the best products. Music is just plain awesome (and has often been worked in with the visual arts), and who knows what else could go on there. I don't doubt for a moment that there is a massive demand out there for people wanting photo portraits who would also gladly pay for a painted portrait and even some highly processed prints of both. Not to mention an excellent source of indie music (both live and recorded). Heck, if the space is large enough, why not make room for a video studio as well.

Individual and corporate studio areas combined with a gallery of displayed works. All of these hobbies pay can at least support themselves and the cost of such an establishment and any extra income for people's pockets likely wouldn't be refused.

I dunno, might just be a pipe dream... but whatever it is, it's got me excited.