Eastbound Jonny?

MINE!!!
...quoth I, upon finding the following job advert.

I have just over a week to get my resume in order. Here's hoping (and praying) that something might come of it.



Title:
- Promotions/Events Manager

Employer:
-Cavendish Beach & The Dune Shores Tourism Association

Location:
- Cavendish, Prince Edward Island

Education:
- Completion of college/university

Experience:
- 1 - 2 years

Languages:
- English

Work Setting:
- Tourism services, Not-for-profit organization

Software:
- Windows
- Office
- Email
- Web-site creation and management software

Staff Responsibility:
- 1 - 20

Specific Skills:
- Plan, develop and implement communications strategies
- Establish distribution networks for products and services
- Plan and direct events for fund raising campaigns
- Prepare reports
- Generate ideas for products / services development
- Develop promotional materials
- Deliver presentations on products / services
- Participate in trade shows
- Write Request for Proposals (RFP's)

Additional Skills:
- Plan and control budget and expenditures

Ability to Supervise:
- 1 - 2 people

Other Information:
- At least 1 year experience coordinating special events.

Others

I wonder how my actions will affect those around me. This isn't a Christian idea, this isn't a religious idea, this isn't even an elective-moral idea; This is the basis of civilized society. I've been called out in the past for expecting people to live up to standards that are just not applicable to their lives; This is not one of those things!

Had a discussion with Cyler the other day about drunkenness. He made the valid point that since I've never been drunk, there is no way for me to understand how some people enjoy it. I'm not a teetotalar, I like alcoholic drinks, but I am actually quite afraid of getting drunk. I've seen how it affects those around me; Some people fall asleep, some people gain a remarkable ability to dance, and some turn in to complete and utter jackasses.

I hate the way I behave sometimes. I shudder when I recall the depths to which my mind has slipped on occasion. I am loath to think about the people that I've hurt in the past (accidentally or maliciously). All of this in my most sober moments.

What would I be like if I were drunk? Would I be a fun, carefree guy? Would I fall asleep? Or would I find within me a "Mr. Hyde" of sorts, the man whose very nature I have hated and forcefully suppressed throughout my life?

I won't judge you for drinking. I won't judge you for getting drunk. But I reserve the right to be disappointed should your behaviour (drunk or not) hurt me or those I love.

This was a disappointing Christmas day.

Dreams are weird

(I've never kept a true journal... so I'm sorry to all of you that are stuck listening to my thinking-through-writing.)

The other night, I had a dream about a girl that I haven't seen in almost 10 years. Being as hopelessly romantic as I am, it seems that we had a lovely dream relationship and we even shared a pleasant dream kiss. That's all that remained in my memory. I woke up this morning, went to work, and couldn't stop thinking about why she would suddenly show up in a dream.

I was a weird kid in grade seven (weirder than now...), but though she generally didn't run in the same crowd as me (I didn't have a crowd), she was never outright mean to me. I remember her actually waving to me one evening as she and her mother drove by. I thought it was odd and unexpected, my mom suggested that maybe she liked me (gotta love mothers). I didn't have a crush on her, at least from what I remember, but the thought rattled around in my head for a few days back then and then, it seems, buried itself in my memory until last Tuesday.

I wonder where Donna is now.

P.S.
I now remember her looking (at least in my eyes) like a young Cameron Diaz. Maybe it was the watching of "The Holiday" that triggered this. Either way, I maintain that dreams are weird.

... there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!

(My sister and I watched "The Holiday" today)

You know my thoughts on worldwide charity.

I've found a solution that I'm comfortable with: Micro-finance

Check out
http://www.kiva.org

Invest $25 (that's their limit right now due to the overwhelming number of interested people). When the entrepreneur pays the money back, you can pocket it or reinvest it in another business. You could, in theory, help build an endless string of businesses with that single investment.

Sounds pretty cool. I plan to do some more reading (I'm always rather skeptical), but it certainly sounds like a good alternative to many of the other charities out there.

Sustenance vs. Growth.

Act I Scene III

I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviors to love, will, after he hath laughed at such shallow follies in others, become the argument of his own scorn by failing in love.

Such a man is Claudio.

I have known when there was no music with him but the drum and the fife; and now had he rather hear the tabour and the pipe: I have known when he would have walked ten mile a-foot to see a good armour; and now will he lie ten nights awake, carving the fashion of a new doublet. He was wont to speak plain and to the purpose, like an honest man and a soldier; and now is he turned orthography; his words are a very fantastical banquet, just so many strange dishes. May I be so converted and see with these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not: I will not be sworn, but love may transform me to an oyster; but I'll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me, he shall never make me such a fool. One woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous, yet I am well; but till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace... [Wise] she shall be..., or I'll none; virtuous, or I'll never cheapen her; fair, or I'll never look on her; mild, or come not near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what colour it please God.

[Ya... Much Ado About Nothing was on the television. Until such time as I am able to express myself so well, The Bard will remain as my most capable spokesman.]

Milkshake

Inspirations

I long to write like this:
http://writtenbycandlelight.blogspot.com/

I long to knowledgeably identify with this song (and maybe even sing it):
Pachelbel Bedtime

Photo Excursion

The photo excursion was awesome.
See the flickr gallery here.

Some are mine, most are Jordan's. When I wasn't shooting I was advising or being a "voice-activated light-stand". It was a lot of fun and I learned tons. I don't think I'll ever be able to shoot another outdoor portrait again without a flash, an umbrella, a bracket, and a Pocket Wizard. It just goes so smoothly and the results are, if I may say so, absolutely beautiful.

Fireworks

I hit the fireworks festival during my last week in Ottawa. I'm pleased with the results
http://www.shorterthanjesus.com/gallery/fireworks/

Vocabulary

A reflection on some of the ideas given in Cyler's latest post

Vocabulary is definitely not about sounding smarter (what's the point of sounding smarter if you can't be understood); It's about having a wider gamut of colors to work with as you paint the image that is in your mind. We're living in a world with an ever shrinking vocabulary.

Years ago, I could have informed you of my displeasure with a behaviour of yours with a comment ranging from "I felt slighted by your actions" to "Your behaviour was downright appalling and amends need to be made for it". Today, most of our generational compatriots seem to range between "Shut up" and "Shut the F___ up" with only tonality and body language left to provide any distinction.

The same thing could be said about a man's expression of his love for a woman (or vice versa). Try to imagine letters like this coming from the pen (or keyboard, as it may be) of any of the couples that we pass on the way in to the movie theatres or other public areas.

We have access to a remarkably detailed and powerful language, built upon the framework of some of the world's most beautiful and effective languages (Latin, Greek, and French, to name just a few). There is no excuse for not clearly and efficiently communicating information, feelings, or or thoughts, whether through the spoken or the written word.

Adapt to the audience when necessary, but adapt the audience whenever possible. Teach!

A challenge

A challenge to anyone who finds themselves singing a song of Christian worship.

Do not sing another "Christian" word until you know explicitly what it means.

I don't want to hear another "Hallelujah", "Amen", "Bulwark", or anything else along those lines unless you can confidently explain its meaning to another person.

Christian worship is so often (and rightfully so) looked upon with great skepticism by non-Christians. We have a group of people giving in to, what appears to be, mass hysteria and mindless chanting of words including some that, I'm quite sure, at least 50% of the congregation do not understand. I am in no position to judge the position of person's mind and soul, but by observation I would be willing to bet that a surprising portion of the tears, convulsions, and "hallelujahs" are elements of a mass hysteria, more than actual personal interaction with the Almighty. I cannot say that, though, without also saying that I am more than confident that the remainder are real, true, and blessed events.

What I honestly would like to see is an explanation slide (overhead / bulletin insert / announcement) before every song that slips in any of these Christianeze words. I want someone, a person entirely unfamiliar with the Christian church, to be able to walk in to an event and be actually able to understand what is going on. What good is it to them if they don't understand it.

Step by step, we can slowly move ourselves away from the image of a bunch of mindless religious fanatics.

If you refuse to do it right...

If you refuse to do it right, don't do it at all.

It needs to be said that I am thankful for the many positive relationship examples in my life; It is only the rare case that doesn't work as it should that really pisses me off.

When a lady friend of mine is in a relationship with a guy who doesn't treat her as well as I would, I take it as an affront to me. I am far from perfect, I am know that there are a great many gentlemen out there who would eclipse me to a staggering degree; But, ladies, you've got some explaining to do if the guy you're crushing/dating/marrying isn't one of them.

Photo Excursion

My arrival back in town this weekend heralds the planning stages of a massive photo excursion at some point in the next month or two.

What do I envision? Everyone who is, or wants to be, comfortable behind their camera, and everyone who is comfortable in front of a camera, going out to some reasonably accessible location and spending a couple hours taking photos, learning from each other, and generally building the most kick-ass collection of people photos one could ever imagine.

It can be as simple or as complicated as people want. I see no reason why we can't have cellphone-camera artists working beside DSLR shooters.


I want people to start contacting me with dates and times they are free and interested. Evenings, weekends, whatever. Let me know and I'll start compiling a list of possible days. The more people that come, the better.

Know someone who doesn't do the camera thing but loves to be in photos, bring them too. We need models!

I'm also open for location ideas.

Vacation

My plane pushes away from the gate at 8:00am tomorrow morning. Two weeks in PEI, two weeks in Ottawa. I'll be connected only occasionally for the first two weeks, probably hitting a wifi hotspot in Charlottetown or Rustico two or three times a week. Once I hit Ottawa, I expect to be a bit more accessible.

But should anyone be interested in what my family is up to for the next month, feel free to swing by our/my vacation blog at:
Brackley2Bytown
(Brackley is a beach near our cabin, Bytown was the name of Ottawa back when it was a grubby little logging town)

I hope to maintain an impressive flow of even more impressive photos of our travels and adventures (and at least one shot of a proper-sized lobster... not these crayfish that Red Lobster serves in Alberta). I might even experiment with voice or video blogging, depending on how many rainy evenings I have at the cabin.

Giant badgers invade town

The story is actually fairly lame, but the title is awesome. Hooray for inside jokes.

Pie

Calgary needs affordable housing. We have a huge homeless population that needs help.

These are inarguable facts; But it is idiots like Lily Phan (Facebook) that absolutely destroy the respectability of the fight for social equity in Calgary. She tried to throw a pie at Premier Ed Stelmach in an attempt to bring attention to the plight of Calgary's homeless (link). Unfortunately, all people heard on the news was her screaming and babbling as she was dragged away by the police.


There has to be a better way...

We need to protect the environment, but respectable and powerful people don't want to be associated with extreme groups like Green Peace.

Our aboriginal groups deserve respect, but blocking rail-lines does nothing but poison people and companies against them.

Our homeless population deserves help, dignity, and respect. They need a better representative than crazies like Lily Phan.

Acceptable

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart,
Be acceptable in your sight,
O Lord, my strength and redeemer.
Psalm 19:14

Post It Notes

Be a gentleman.
Be chivalrous.
Be respectful.
Honor friends and family.
Serve freely and joyfully without expectation of repayment or acknowledgment.
Be gracious.
Be forgiving.
Be patient.
Demonstrate understanding.
Shut up.
Listen.
Be watchful.
Be careful.
Be calm.
Foster peace.
Seek the truth.
Speak the truth.
Be happy.
Know, show, and share joy.
Tread softly.
Step carefully.
Walk straight.
Guide well.
Follow well.
Say please.
Say "thank you".
Be thankful.
Be honest.
Be humble.
Don't gloat when you're right.
Admit when you're wrong.
Speak your feelings, don't trust their intuition.
Listen carefully to others, don't trust your intuition.
Don't categorize unnecessarily.
Don't categorize incorrectly.
Don't categorize.
Don't assume.
Ask.


I started this list in a spat of entirely unjustified anger and self pity. The root was not good, but the thought process and the writing process were. Here you have a map of the forces which act on me daily. A collection of Post-It Notes, stuck on every surface of my brain. Too many to remember and pay attention to at one time, but each one very valuable.

My ears hurt, and I couldn't be happier

My house has a covered back porch. At first I didn't see the need for it, but then the first thunderstorm hit; I've been hooked ever since.

My dad and I spent over an hour out on the back deck, thoroughly enjoying the sound of the rain and hail striking deafening blows on the plastic roof. The constant roar of thunder around us was the real spectacle though; It's been a long time since I've been in a storm that was this active.

I love it, I honestly cannot think of a time when I've been more relaxed than sitting in a chair on the deck, unable to hear anything but the relentless pounding of the rain on the roof above. My ears hurt after listening for that long to something that loud, but yet I was almost falling asleep out there.

So ya, I love storms.

Big nose

And I, meseems, had Nature been more kind,
More careful, when she fashioned me,—had been
One of those men who well could speak their love!...
Oh! We have our pockets full,
We poets, of love-letters, writ to Chloes,
Daphnes—creations of our noddle-heads.
Our lady-loves,—phantasms of our brains,
—Dream-fancies blown into soap-bubbles! Come!
Take it, and change feigned love-words into true;
I breathed my sighs and moans haphazard-wise;
Call all these wandering love-birds home to nest.
You'll see that I was in these lettered lines,
—Eloquent all the more, the less sincere!
—Take it, and make an end!


Reading through Cyrano de Bergerac, considering a career in romantic ghost-writing, haha.

I was talking with my friend, Faith, and she weighed on on the topic of guy’s behaviour towards women, and the underlying topic of women’s clothing. Having managed to escape the bottomless pit of blogging, she asked that I, instead, just post this up in response.

Jonathan, thank you for giving women a man’s view into clothing and lust. I admire the fact that you flee from lustful thoughts; that is truly a rare trait to find in a man today. I believe that both men and women can work together to allow the other to fight the battle of lust. It is my goal to pass on what the Bible, and the book “Every Young Women’s Battle”, has to say about modesty. I hope and pray that the godly womanly perspective I am sharing can be clear, effective, and will result in greater degrees of modesty.

We have all heard the saying, “don’t judge a book by its cover” and I believe that this saying can be applied to interactions with men and women. When one sees a book with a plain cover, it is our natural tendency to pay little to no attention to it. Where as, if one sees a book with flashy print and exciting colors, they give their entire attention to it, or at least until something better comes out. Although this is an innocent example, it can be applied to how men view women. I believe that a woman should dress attractively. That can include summer dresses as Amy pointed out, but with care that it does not leave a man lost in the outside appearance, not wanting to see what is inside.

The way a women dresses, is the way she will be treated. Men are very visual beings and women feel that, to catch a guy’s attention, they must dress in a way where the men long to see more. Godly men long to find women who will dress modestly out of respect for God and them. If a woman wants to be respected and sought after, she must learn to be a woman of sexual integrity. God’s word tells us to strive to be more like Christ, and that may mean dressing differently than this sex craved society.

Both men and women should strive to dress and act the way they want to be treated, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. If men refuse to feed into women’s desire for attention, women will in turn dress more modestly. But, we should not wait for men to change, rather we as women should search the Bible for guidance. Below is an excerpt from “Every Young Women’s Battle” which can help us evaluate/assess our motives in a particular outfit we desire to wear.

“Searching The Scriptures For Guidance”

Scripture is specific about what we should wear, but not on how we should dress. Below are some examples:

Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immortality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature. ( Romans 13:13-14)

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience…And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12,14)

All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another because “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” ( 1 Peter 5:5)

Although, you should not wear revealing clothes the scripture clearly says to clothe oneself with the above virtues.

How to assess the clothes I have or want to buy:

Blouses and Tops:

• If your blouse buttons up, is it so tight that someone sitting beside you might get a glimpse though the gaps between the buttons as you move around?
• If someone is standing over you or if you are bending over, could that person get an eyeful of cleavage?
• Are any of your tops so sheer that others can see the lace on your bra?
• Do any of your sleeveless shirts or tank tops reveal your bra straps or require that you not wear a bra?
• Do your shirts reveal any part of your abdomen or back if you do the “hallelujah test” (lift your hands above your head)?
• Do any of your shirts have sexually suggestive slogans (such as sexy or flirt)?

Jeans and Pants:

• Are any of your jeans so tight that someone could read the date on the dime in your pocket?
• Do you have to lie down on the bead and suck in your stomach to zip up any of your pants?
• Do any of your jeans ride your hips so low that your underwear can be seen from the back?
• Do you own any pants that have lettering or graphics across the seat to draw attention to your rear view?

Skirts/dresses and shorts:

• Do your skirts or shorts come above your thumbnail when your arms are at your side?
• Back up to a full-length mirror and then bend over to touch your toes. Are your private parts or panties on display in this position?
• Do any of your skirts ride excessively high above the knee when you are seated?
• When you are wearing a particular skirt, could someone sitting or standing in front of you catch a glimpse of your panties or upper thighs if you fail to keep your legs crossed?
• Regardless of the length of your skirts, do any have slits up the front, back, or side that could draw a guy’s eye too far up your legs?

Undergarments:

• If you choose to wear thong underwear, does the waistband show when you squat down or bend over?
• Do you have bras that you like to wear because you know the pretty straps will show when you wear certain tops.

Here is some additional scripture that applies to what virtues women should strive for:

• Proverbs 31


• Psalm 103


• Romans 13:14


• Matthew 22:39

In conclusion, a woman should honestly ask herself why she is wearing a particular outfit. Is she trying to catch the attention of a guy? If so, is she doing it in a godly manner? All men are visually sensitive to the appearance of women, but women should not take this as an excuse to wear clothes that are not honoring to God or their brothers in Christ.

Some guys

I read a book a while back, "Every Man's Battle" by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. It is an excellent book, and many of its ideas and stories have stuck with me.

Driving home today, I found myself behind a big ugly pick-up truck (classic Calgary redneck-mobile), driven by just the kind of guy you would normally expect behind the wheel of such a vehicle. He didn't seem like a particularly bad driver, not that I saw him do any particularly advance maneuvers on the road anyway, but there was one moment which scared me thoroughly. We were driving along when, up about two blocks, I noticed two young ladies walking along the sidewalk, against the flow of traffic. One's gait can speak volumes about one's personality; from two blocks away, you could tell that these two KNEW that they were beautiful. As we got closer, it became apparent that their clothing was the unfortunately common summer-combination of short-shorts and low-cut/high-cut halter tops (amazing how shirts seem to be always losing fabric from both the top and the bottom).

You've heard my rants before about women's clothing, I won't bore you with that again. Quite simply, I knew that there was no way I would be able to respectfully admire these ladies as I drove past, so I chose to look away, giving some extra attention to the road, my dash, and the vehicles around me. That's not a big thing for me, I do it all the time, I know the weaknesses of my mind.

What scared me [watch as Jonny finally gets to the point] was the behaviour of the guy in the truck in front of me. I watched his head as we neared and passed the ladies. He was locked on, entirely focused. It wasn't a glance through peripheral vision (I wouldn't have seen that), it was a full out head turn. I watched as his head tracked to follow these ladies as they went from a 2 o'clock through to a 5 o'clock position in relation to his vehicle. I watched as he literally turned around to look out his back window to continue 'checking them out'. If only drivers put this much effort in to their shoulder checks, our roads would be considerably safer.


So what does this have to do with the book? One of the big stories in the book is that of one of the authors (I think) driving his fairly nice sports car along the road, locking his eyes on to a not-very-well-restrained set of breasts attached to a jogger on the sidewalk. In his enjoyment of the 'scenery' he failed to notice that traffic had stopped, and he plowed in to the vehicle in front of him.

I don't want "bird watching" to be the answer when the police ask me what I was doing when I crash in to that car in front of me.

Should I ever be married, I want to be able to go for a walk with my wife and give intelligent answers to "were you just looking at that woman?". I'll say "Yes, I was. Did you notice how her blouse clashed with her skirt, it would have looked so much nicer if she had balanced it like you did with your outfit. You look stunning in that!"

And lastly, should God ever see fit to ask me "Did you look at that woman lustfully?" (even though He knows the answer already), I want to be able to say, without the least fear of being smote for lying, that I did not.


All that to say, I hate how some of my fellow men can be so damned stupid. That guy was so distracted, he very easily could have driven right up and over the little car in front of him.

Buttons

Thinking of a title for my last post brought up something else I wanted to share.
Buttons, the pin type.

The town of Banff is in the middle of a massive 'refreshing' project to update and repair their municipal infrastructure. This is normally a fairly bland topic and could have resulted in bitterness among residents and visitors due to the inconvenience that they encounter. This doesn't seem to be the case though. In fact, the town did such a good job with their education/planning/appeasement that all who experience the 'refreshing' are quite happy. This could have been a "lipstick on a pig" situation, but some good planning ensured that the project wasn't a pig, and thus the lipstick was mostly unnecessary and actually appreciated by those around.

What am I yammering about? My new source of inspiration.
The Squirrels & The Buttons

A news article, covering Banff's 'refreshing', mentioned something which I found fascinating: people are stealing the squirrel signs that explain the project. These designers (whoever Banff had working on this) created road/safety/construction signs that people want enough to warrant stealing them.

I want people to want my creations to the point of theft!
It is now my goal to create something, at some point in my life, that people will like enough to steal it.


My sister was kind enough to bring back all five buttons for me; They now adorn my camera bag as a constant reminder of my goal.

Buttons

Everyone has their pet peeves. Other people do certain things which just drive us batty. Sometimes they really are that much of an annoyance or inconvenience... but not often.

For me, I find, often through unfortunately-delayed introspection, that most of my pet peeves are based on the things that I hate within myself. I cannot stand bad whistling, which I assume is due to the inability of my own lips to form the notes which I imagine in my mind. I cringe when I see people digging digging their own intellectual/social graves with various small but ultimately damaging behaviours. Rarely does my annoyance/anger at their behaviour equal anywhere near the total amount that I am bothered, simply because I can see in them, that which I so often see, and hate, in myself. Too many eyes have glazed over while I spoke; Too many have been driven away by a ramble or rant on a topic that really needed not much more than a sentence or two; And too many feelings have been hurt by unnecessary, and usually incorrect, statements of my own opinion as fact.

I hate watching others make the same mistakes as me; But, as always, everything is easier to see and understand from an outside perspective. I don't see my mistakes until after I've made them.


I am somewhat comforted by this idea though; It, as with most observations of our very human state, is easily scaled up to the universal/spiritual level.
C.S. Lewis was the first and last person to ever explain eternity to me in a way that made sense and didn't trivialize who God is or what He did/does/will-do (three words and three tenses that, in his description, become meaningless). Though I'll never do it justice in a quote (go read Mere Christianity), the key idea is that God views time from outside the timeline. He sees the beginning, the end, and everything in between. One can't say "God knows what will happen" as if God were at our point and is simply looking ahead; Instead, God sees everything that happens and the linear progression is a triviality, but of course this is hard to express with all of our time-based descriptions. I play, I love, I sin, I choose, I fall, I grow, I swim, I eat, I draw, I read... If you're anything like me, these fragments are uncomfortable because they lack the linear time context that we are so used to.

As friends, we have the unique privilege to experience the 'lite' version of God's view. We know what our friends have done, we can see what they're doing (and know them well enough to know why), and we can usually see what's up ahead much more accurately than they ever could. But that still holds to linearity, and I think is impossible for us to view the situation in anything beyond this. God sees, as a whole, everything that our life encompasses. I don't think we can reach that point, but at least we can be used as an outside viewer to help our friends with the choices that they make. Unfortunately it is tough, if not impossible, to look inwardly with the same scope; I think this is why I/we have pet peeves. We see friends making the same mistakes but yet not being able to see or understand what they are actually doing. I suppose that God feels the same way (but without the associated guilt of making all of the same mistakes first, of course) as He watches us do all of the stupid things we do. If we would just listen, He would have told us that it wasn't a good idea. He may have even told us why, though, as the Almighty, He does have he distinct advantage of not having to justify everything that He says or does ("because I said so" is a valid answer for the Omniscient/Omnipresent/Omnipotent).

[Note: This was a mind dump. At some points I felt that I had something going, but I have a feeling that the train-of-thought went off the tracks (off the trestle, in to the gorge, and in to a smoking heap of its own wreckage)]

On a positive note

I use this blog as a journal of sorts (my hand writing is horrendous) so, unfortunately, anyone who reads this will be occasionally subjected to depressing stuff like that last post.

But my life is nowhere near as bad as I often make it out to be; It is, in fact, quite pleasant.


I might get to shoot at the Pure Fashion fashion show in Calgary on May 6th. It is not set in stone, my accreditation is still pending, but I'm thankful for even the possibility. Though I look forward to having some fashion work in my portfolio, I am more excited about supporting an event like this. It needs much more exposure. I love modest women!


And, for the first time in a long time, I am really enjoying work. We've spent the last two weeks in meetings/courses with the goal of moving our department in to the role of bid and business development support. I can't help but laugh at my nerdy excitement over getting to develop proposals. The key through all of it is that I, along with my coworkers, will begin to gain some respect within the company. More importantly, the change in role is drastic enough that we might be able to gain some respect without the massive structural and personal (personnel...) restructuring that us peons originally thought would be necessary. I'm a loyal guy, and I love the company, so I wasn't looking forward to the coup d'état which was seeming like the only real option.


So ya, I am happy. I've graduated from Mount Royal (walking the stage on June 1), I have a decent paying job (though still hoping that they'll give me a raise when I become full-time/permanent), and I am still growing personally with many interesting opportunities on the horizon. Life is good.

And I ain't seen the sunshine since, I don't know when

A fence, a concrete wall, a pack of guard dogs, countless rolls of barbed wire, bristling guard towers, and a full moat with sharks and crocodiles. Some people build these as an impenetrable fortress around their heart, never allowing anyone to get close enough to hurt them. A Fort Knox for the heart.

But for some, this wall serves as a prison, to protect those outside from what is inside.

I don't crush well. My friends, seem to have the knack; They like a girl, they realize it won't work, they cease to be interested. Simple as that. Ya, they may have lost an evening, a weekend, or a week in adoration and pursuit, but they get over it and move on. I've never been able to do that. My heart gets too involved, the feelings last for a long while, I try to hide my feelings (or end up blurting something out in desperation), and I kill friendships in the process. In the last 13 years, I have liked four women. There are so many possible permutations for that equation, some not bad at all, but the reality is that I never lasted longer than 6 months between these infatuations, which makes the average length troubling.
I've completely lost contact with three of them, and the fourth isn't far behind.


Folsom, Joliet, Alcatraz... these is where this heart belongs for a good while longer. It's a killer.

I know I had it comin',
I know I can't be free,
But those people keep a-movin',
And that's what tortures me.

Pack-o-bell

I love this video!

If I were king...

I often find myself thinking about how I would handle situations differently if I were the owner of a company, instead of a low-level peon.

I've never bothered to record these "If I were king" brainstorms; Now that I think about it, I really should. Even if I never own my own company, at least I'll have spent some time thinking about how to make life better. Who knows, maybe I'll stumble across the occasional malleable area in my current work environment. But I can't deny the desire to, one day, design an office for a company that I had a part in creating.

So, I give you my first published "great idea": The Joyn
It's not perfect, but I love the idea of collaborative work spaces. I'm thankful for my current office, a fairly large space shared by three of the marketing staff. 'Boss' is across the hall and occasionally puts his foot down about our chatter. But when his door is closed, we are usually successful at maintaining an open and creative atmosphere where ideas flow smoothly. If I ever own a company, I will hire and fire based on people's fit with the team. The workspace will be designed around this. A constant interactive flow of information between a carefully chosen team of professionals, each with a set of highly complimentary skills. Of course I'll make private areas available for when one actually needs some solitary thought time, but I love the idea of a huge table where everyone can work easily together.

Honestly, it all comes back to my "communal art" post from last July. This still resonates in my head. I want to make it happen, but I honestly have no idea how to start: Just like I have no idea how to start my own business (I honestly see the two ideas intrinsically intertwined).

Want to work with me? Want to be artistic with me? Talk to me!

Undefined

For the last 18 years I have filled in "student" on forms.
For the last five years, I was primarily identified by what school I went to and what I was studying.
And for as long as I can remember, I always had an answer to "what's next?"

At 9:00 tonight I left the college, having just completed the last requirement in my applied degree program. I haven't felt this empty in years, I am undefined!

Ya, I have a job. But I spend my days working for an idiosyncratic boss, doing busy work while he holds our department back from actually developing and growing. We could do a lot for this company, we've been told from multiple sources that we have many things to offer which would benefit the whole organization in big ways (save them money, time, and face). I am loyal to the company, I like the company, and so I don't want to leave. But I honestly wonder whether this department, or my career with the company, will ever go anywhere. It's not about money, but I am nonetheless worried that I'll be laughed at when I ask for a raise when I renegotiate as a full time (non-student) employee. I wonder whether I'll ever be allowed to be of any benefit to the company as a whole (and not just the whims of the department head). That's not a nice feeling.

I need purpose, but I can't see any at the moment. What's next?

Bachelors...

It was a year ago this month that I attended my first bachelor party (oddly enough, I also was one of the two guys in charge of planning it).

It was very enjoyable, and I'm glad to say that it was without any of the usual drunken debauchery associated with these events. Yes, there was alcohol, and I can honestly say that this was the most intoxicated I have ever been in my life (which isn't saying much... I got tipsy after downing a single pint on an empty stomach). Yes, there were strippers (they were walking around West Ed, saw our group t-shirts, and offered a photo with the groom who was forced by his cohorts to stand with these ladies. They invited him to their show that evening but he refused. Good man!). And there was even exotic underwear (yes, that is my face on that underwear... no, it wasn't my idea!).

I mention all of this because I have the distinct honor of planning an event like this once again. My good friend Nolan and I will spend the next few months preparing for the bachelor party of my good buddy Trevor who is engaged to be married sometime this Fall. The thing about bachelor parties is that they are an ever-escalating series of events. Celebrating with Nathan was awesome, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. But now that we've done that, we've gotta find a new level for Trevor. It'll be stupendous!

I'll leave you with this photo of Nathan in his ceremonial bachelor garb, seated beside Trevor (who, at that point, had only just begun dating the young lady who is now his fiance).

Ghost town trips

Cyler and I are planning on doing a number of road-trips to various ghost towns around Southern Alberta. I've already had some people express some interest, I figured I should open it up to others as well. I don't see anything wrong with a convoy.

Some of possible destinations include:
Nordegg (I think this is my top choice)
Rowley (Near Drumheller)
Wayne (11 one-way bridges to get there, that's my kinda trip!)
Retlaw (Neat Taber, apparently)
Bankhead (Near Banff)
Blairmore (Crowsnest)
Frank (Site of the Frank Slide, Crowsnest)
Buffalo Jump
Dorothy (Near Drumheller)
Conquerville (deep southeast)
Kovach (3km hike in Kananaskis)

Odd music

To all of my friends with crazy music connections, I need some help finding some odd CDs, preferably locally.
I do not know all of the local music shops around here, I'm hoping you might be able to push me in the right direction (or ask them about the CDs for me).

In 1992, a band called Deep Forest put out a CD single titled "Sweet Lullaby". It contains the original version of the song "Sweet Lullaby", as well as six remixed tracks. The "Nature's Dancing" remix can be heard as the soundtrack to Matt Harding's "Where the Hell is Matt?" video series (I suggest Dancing 2006 as a good introduction to this awesome internet phenomenon).

The most complete version of that CD single was released in Austria (658877 2), though there is a decent version that was released in Australia (Dance Pool DAN 658168 5) and here in Canada as a purely promotional release (Sony CDNK736).

So ya, I want that CD. I don't want to pay $50 for it or deal with some questionable dealer out of New York. And I'd be glad to pick up any other Deep Forest albums, if you ever happen to stumble across them.

Thanks!

The Butcher

This is a Shrike. My father and I could not decide whether it was a Norther Shrike or a Loggerhead Shrike (the yearly migrations unfortunately blur at this time of year). Very rare here in Alberta, definitely not something I expected to see in my backyard.

A little more research revealed some interesting information about this bird. It looked soft and fluffy, and I figured it would behave in a similar manner... this is not the case.

They are called the "butcher bird", due to their habit of keeping corpses around.

They lack the sharp talons and strong beaks of their raptor brethren. After chasing their prey to exhaustion and stunning it with a hit, the Shrike then takes the insect/lizard/rodent/bird and impales it on a nearby barbed-wire fence or thorny bush. Not only does this fence or bush serve as a handy killing tool, but it also works as a handy skewer from which the Shrike may eat.

That is a crazy bird...


[reference]

Why must they always have sex...

On Monday night, I watched Stranger Than Fiction with my family. The storyline is witty and emotionally fulfilling. The characters are well-written and masterfully portrayed by some of my favourite actors. I loved it (just as I did when I first saw it in theatres).

BUT!

I came away asking the same question that I so often find myself asking after movies... Why did they have to have sex?

Do not misunderstand me, there is nothing wrong with sex. God made it, and he made us to enjoy it. I hope that I may one day marry and experience it for myself. There is a wonderful passage in The Screwtape Letters that says of God (through the tongue of a demon):

He’s a hedonist at heart…. He makes no secret of it; at His right hand are pleasures forever more…. He’s vulgar, Wormwood. He has a bourgeois mind. There are things for humans to do all day long…sleeping, walking, eating, drinking, making love, playing, praying, and working. Everything has to be twisted before it is of any use to us.

So I say again, there is nothing wrong with sex. But it can be (and has been) twisted.
What perversion am I ranting about tonight? Sex outside of marriage.

I'm hate the seemingly arbitrary Christian answers for no sex before marriage. I believe that the Christian stance is right, and I believe that the bible supports it (albeit implicitly), but this has no meaning for a world that doesn't care what the bible says. What does interest me though is an apparent lack of happiness among those living the promiscuous lifestyle. Not only is it risky and notoriously unhealthy, but it also lacks any of the comfort, fulfillment, and passion of the marriages with which I am surrounded. That is my argument for sex only within marriage.

But yet, most Hollywood movies seem to think that love can be boiled down to a quick romantic moment followed by a breathy disrobing and a quick cut to the apparently contented couple lying naked in bed. A one night stand, or a series of one night stands (it may be the same person, but I cannot bring myself to label their romantic association as anything close to a healthy relationship). This isn't right.

Will Farrell's character brings a box of specialty flours (baking flours) to the lady whose interest he is seeking. That is awesome, I want to be that creatively romantic. He then professes his feelings for her (a disarmingly humble and timid "I want you"), makes some tax jokes, and then plays a guitar and sings an appropriately romantic version of Whole Wide World. Overall, that is some top notch romancing. And the way that she looks at him when he's singing the song... be still, my beating heart!

But then they had sex.

Why did they have to have sex?

They didn't have to have sex!



I don't think that movies are simply mindless entertainment; I simply cannot do that. I laugh, I cry, I memorize... these movie mean something to me and clearly embed themselves in my mind. I'm not alone in this, I doubt that there is anyone out there who is not affected by what they watch (despite whatever they might say).

Did Stranger Than Fiction convince someone to seek sex before marriage? I seriously doubt it. But what is the overall effect of watching similarly themed comedies, dramas, and 'chick flicks' from the age of your first PG movie through till the age when the opportunity for sex appears. How are people supposed to make a positive decision when the 'normal' behaviour which they have seen, throughout all their socially conscious lives, has been negative.

I don't want to stop watching movies like this, I loved 99% of it. But it drives me nuts that writers are too lazy to write an end to a romantic evening that doesn't involve sex. It is possible!

To all of the theatrical/cinematic writers in my life... get to it. Make me proud. Don't be lazy and give in to the status quo.

I don't have much commentary to add to this video. Stumbled across it on YouTube and was really not sure how to take it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEB0SvMzKzg

My mother has kids in her classes who talk openly about how "the rivers will flow red with the blood of the jews". How are we supposed to approach this?

What am I?

What am I doing?
What do I want to do?
What do I think I need to do?
What do I actually need to do?

Do I exist apart from a purpose. Back in highschool, in my theological toddler years (though I've not progressed much since), I used to think that we, as humans, were created by God around a particular goal, a purpose, a reason. I would tell you that we exist to do something. It may be big or small in the eyes of those around us, but it is ultimately valuable on the eternal timeline. I've encountered alot of depressed and suicidal people in my life, more than most I expect; This "purpose" rhetoric was my primary encouragement to them for many years (my appropriately educated friends may tell me that this was wrong approach, but it seemed to work at the time).

Do not misunderstand me, I have not stopped believing this. I am simply finding that, like most elements of the Christian faith, believing something is nowhere near as challenging as actually acting on that belief. I have always longed for the theophanic experiences of many of the bible stories, simply because I've always felt that His purpose for my life would be clearer and, more importantly, harder to ignore if it were not a comfortable task.

Elijah the Tishbite (no, I didn't have to type "Tishbite", I just like how it sounds) seemed to get pretty clear instructions about what he was supposed to say and do. Were his instructions clearer than mine, or was he simply listening better? What side am I on here? Would Elijah pat me on the back, or rebuke me and call down a drought?

The day

To wax poetic on St. Valentine's eve is not a rare thing for me;
But for the first time, in a great many years, it is not done bitterly.
What curses, under bated breath, I would utter against those in love,
for, clearly, I did not know love as they did; unrequited, my feelings, thereof.

There was going to be more there, but I guess my ability to "wax poetic" has waned over the years. Probably for the best anyway, I was never much of a poet.
But it is crucial to note that whatever bitterness I felt towards Valentine's day, and the desirable state of the heart demonstrated therein, has dissipated. Not fully, I must admit, but I will make it through the day without the usual rants.

Yes, it is too commercialized.
Yes, the sentiments expressed on that day should not limited to that day.
And yes, I cannot deny a bit of "if everyone is special, no one is" bitterness towards the enforced pageantry of elementary school V-Days.

But it remains a day where I can see the love around me through a slightly clearer lens. The marriage of my parents, a growing number of my friends, and that small portion of our society with truly healthy relationships, can be noticed and appreciated. I am a romantic. I look at the marriage of Nathan and Lauren (or the newly minted Trevor and Melissa engagement) and I am happy, dare I say joyous, for what they have. What is my role in there lives if not to celebrate what God has given them?

And ya, I'm alone. I do not have a lady to romance. Yes, I desire that relationship. Oh how I desire it! But it clearly isn't time, so that's OK. It is one more year to faithfully wait, one more year to dream, and one more year to plan an ever-more elaborate wooing of that lady I hope to meet.


And I hope she'll like cards like this (and is willing to watch the occasional Star Trek/Wars movie):

In my backyard

Chickadees, sparrows, house finches, nuthatches, wood peckers, magpies, pigeons, blue jays, and squirrels. My father is the faithful servant of them all.

Our bird feeder is a hub of activity in our backyard, and a constant source of entertainment for my bird-watching family.

Figured I'd share the view with you.

Enjoy

http://www.shorterthanjesus.com/gallery/birdfeeder/

Misinterpretation

I was out for dinner last night with some very good friends. Knowing that I would be waiting alone in the lobby for an extended period of time, I had brought a book to read. "Toasts & Tributes," of the Gentlemanners series, was the book which I happened to choose. When my friends arrived and noticed my book, we found ourselves laughing at the often ridiculous demands placed on a "gentleman." I believe their reaction was best summed up in Cyler's response to the idea of a hand-written invitation to a 'jacket and tie' evening of cocktails and hors d'œuvre: "If you ever send me an invitation like that, I'll kick you in the groin."

Back when a gentleman was the norm and the oaf was an oddity, most of the prescribed 'gentlemanly' behaviours would not be have seemed out of place. But in today's world where the oafish is considered standard (ride the bus for 15 minutes and tell me I'm wrong), even the simplest gentlemanly behaviour stands out. I'm not saying that Cyler's response was wrong (or oafish, in the context of this paragraph). An invitation like that is unheard of in our culture, especially among people of our age. But I fear for our society when a similar disgust or confusion is felt when even the basic principles of gentlemanly courtesy are demonstrated.

I worry about misinterpretation.

In a society where this behaviour is rare, are gentlemanly respect and attention easily misinterpreted as signs of romantic feelings?

I desire the chivalrous lifestyle, I can't imagine a better behaviour model to complement a Godly lifestyle (my other goal in life). I want every woman in my life to feel respected, honored, supported, and special. But can I, in this day and age, behave in this way without giving the impression that I've got a crush on each and every one of them? Were I handsome and charming, it might not be an issue, they might be quite flattered by such a misinterpreted crush. But I fear that, reality being what it is, I'll have every lady in my life avoiding me because she doesn't want to confront me about the feelings she assumes I have for her. Women rarely seem to be kind enough to give an outright rejection (interesting). This hurts when the crush is real, but in this case I just fear that I'll be left with a friendship crippled by her avoidance of feelings which she wrongly supposes I have for her.

I may be completely wrong here. I openly acknowledge the dangerous amount of extrapolation involved in this thought process.

Simply, I am a gentleman (working on it) and not a flirt. I want every woman to feel honored by my behaviour towards her. I don't want her to think that I have a crush on her when I don't. Their lives, and my life, are better off without such complications (I've yet to meet anyone who likes rejecting or being rejected).

How do I make this work? I haven't the faintest idea.
Maybe it really isn't a problem at all.

--Excerpts that I liked from previous versions of this post--

"A gentleman might very easily be categorized as a flirt. A pulled chair, held door, and timely compliment simply take the places of the whistle, cat call, and pick-up line."

"I am blessed to have a group of friends made up of ladylike ladies and gentlemanly gentlemen. No, we don't take it to the degree of pomp and circumstance demarcated by "the books" but we do behave in a manner that is usually a step above a good portion of our peers. In our group, to act like a gentleman is not an odd thing and, thankfully, this means that our attempts at gentlemanly behaviour are not confused as anything more than what they are."

Screwtape Letters

I am missing my copy of Screwtape Letters.

I loaned it out a number of years ago, but I cannot remember to whom it was loaned.
It was my grandfather's, so it does have some special meaning to me. It is a small paperback with dark cover art, published sometime in the 1960's I think. It was in rough shape when I loaned it out, some tape rips and such. It might have my grandfather's name in it (Sidney Dove).

Please search your bookshelves for this, I really would like to read it again.

Thanks.

Killer Bunnies

I played "Killer Bunnies" last Saturday and loved it. This has to be one of the most creative and ridiculous card games known to man. And what makes it better, as I found out today, is that it is an almost "open-source" card game. You can download the card templates and make your own. A sketched version of one of the bunnies, some of the downloaded elements, and a bad facsimile of the Enviro font, and you have what you see below: The Jonny Bunny Card. My attempt at it may not be awesome, but the potential is there. I'd be glad to work with anyone to create custom cards for the next game night.

Count onward list, for someday I will be next.

Eons ago, a group of enlightened men sat together to fathom the unfathomable, to discover the undiscoverable, and to list the unlistable. These men hold within them a gnostic knowledge of the ordinal nature of love, death, progeny, and the killing of zombies. They sequestered themselves away for what seemed an eternity, returning only when the sacred lists were complete. Few of the uninitiated have ever heard the wisdom of the lists, fewer still have actually laid eyes on the remarkable foolscap, but all recognize the power held within them. Some say the lists are prophetic. Others say that they are causal. But in the end, all agree on the simple fact that they are right.

< I intended to do more with that but I'm tired and really lost my train of thought. Simply know that lists from highschool have now correctly predicted the first two engagements from our group of friends and seem poised to fairly accurately predict the order of the next few. I do actually hope for some inaccuracy though as I am otherwise doomed to be the last fellow married. >


So it is with great joy that I heard of the latest couple, engaged as prognosticated. Trevor and Melissa, two most excellent friends, engaged last week through an appropriately comedic yet ultimately romantic plan put in motion by the ever-creative Trevor.

I figured I would share my favourite photo of them, sitting in what also happens to be one of my favourite places (the Vermillion lakes @ Banff)

Touch

I get excited about some rather nerdy things, most of which have very little relevance to daily life.

This is not one of those things! I beg you watch this movie and then to take 30 seconds and simply think of the possibilities that this technology allows for. I cannot be alone in my appreciation of this.

Multi-Touch Demonstration by Jeff Han

I remember when my friend, Victor, excitedly told me about this technology. I passed it off as a gimmick, not really seeing what he saw. Victor describes himself as a "blue sky thinker" and I discounted his excitement as simply futuristic dreaming. After almost four months of lunch-hour conversations, I am proud to say that my stance has changed. His appreciation of this new technology, driven by his ability to truly imagine its use in the not-so-distant future, is absolutely infectious. We spend our lunch-hours in lively conversation, talking about Jeff Hans (the creator of the technology in the video) and other inventors in a manner reminiscent of the school-yard discussions about Batman/Superman/Spiderman. How cool (and useful) would it be to have their powers? Though Hans and his peers may not be jumping between buildings or flying around the world, I love that I can look at their achievements and ideas and know that I am not simply dealing with fiction anymore! This is a reality which is only a few years away from being perfectly accessible to us. And we can only begin to imagine how any of these new technologies will change our daily lives.

I need a recipe

To anyone with any knowledge of the kitchen: I need your help!

Spaghetti al Limone (ie. Lemon Spaghetti)
I first saw the recipe on David Rocco's "Dolce Vita" and, immediately, my interest was piqued. When I got around to checking the Food Network's website, the recipe was nowhere to be found.

If any of you, or any of your cookbooks, have a recipe for this, I would love to hear from you.

Many thanks.